All MSNBC's Joe Scarborough, Mike Brzezinski, Willie Geist, and their biker-gang of strung-out analysts talk about is getting drunk and high. Here's a video compilation, with Brzezinski staring blankly at the camera and saying "vodka" over and over again.

The people on Morning Joe no longer have to come up with original content; instead, they can simply show highlights of Glenn Beck acting clinically insane, and stare, speechless. Then cackle. They can do this every day.

Bronzed god Donny Deutsch would like to take Sarah Palin on a date. After the date he would like to bone her, marry her, and rule the nation together from atop a gleaming pile of salmon.

Joe Scarborough's genial sausage-and-Starbucks-fest Morning Joe took on even more of a frat-dude vibe this morning as all the guys snickered about a "pearl necklace" while the lone lady, Mika Brzezinski was left wondering what was so funny. Poor, Mika.

If you watch the Daily Show you've seen Jon Stewart taking some shots lately at Joe Scarborough and MSNBC's Morning Joe. Today Scarborough fired back, going so far as to say that Stewart's raging persona is "kinda like Bill O'Reilly!"

On Morning Joe this morning, NBC News' Chuck Todd offered his analysis of the Osama bin Laden audiotape released this morning: It's a standard political "prebuttal." Does that mean we've won the war on terror?

In your merry Monday media column: Hearst Magazines is not dying quite so quickly as others (news!), the New York Times wants more of your money, a thing happens at 'Morning Joe,' Sun-Times people invite Bill Rancic to suck it, and more:

• Conan O'Brien makes his debut this evening as Tonight Show host. [BN, EW]
• Bravo is ditching its tagline "Watch what happens" and replacing it with "By Bravo." We'll just have to watch and see what happens with that. [AdAge]
• More on the recent ratings meltdown at CNN. [Politico]
• The Times Magazine will be 9 percent smaller starting in two weeks. [E&P]
• DirectTV chief Chase Carey is in talks to join News Corp. as Rupert Murdoch's second-in command, taking over for Peter Chernin. [THR, BN]
• Disney's animated pic Up was No. 1 at the box office this weekend. [THR]
• New York's cover story on Condé Nast, in case you missed it. [NYM]

If there's anyone who'd want to take Steve Rattner—the media-savvy financier-cum-auto-czar who is embroiled in a pay-to-play pension scandal—down a notch, it would be fearless Wall Street bulldog Eliot Spitzer, right? Wrong.

"People assume there's some FCC rule that says you can't drink alcohol on television. Nonsense. No such rule exists." -Morning Joe's Willie Geist

Citigroup is a pathetic loser of a corporation having needed three bailouts in as many decades. "Another large exposure for uncertain benefits," the corporate apologists at the Wall Street Journal editorial page declared of the latest Citi rescue. But the global banking giant is one of the largest tenants of Mort Zuckerman, the owner of Citigroup's world headquarters and of the nearby 59-story Citigroup Center, which Citi partly occupies. Why is NBC News allowing Zuckerman to pimp a rescue for Citi?

Here's a way keep up cable news ratings now that the election is over: MSNBC's Joe Scarborough casually dropped the F-word into his commentary on Morning Joe this morning, much to the surprise of his guests. A clip of the slip-up is on your left. [YouTube via Atrios]

Breakfast shows can fail if the anchors don't have compatible chemistry. But the on-air flirtation can go too far. Case in point: Joe Scarborough and Mika Brzezinski of MSNBC. The former Republican congressman-now reinvented as a liberal darling of cable news-hosts a show called Morning Joe with Brzezinski, daughter of Jimmy Carter's cold-war national security advisor. As this clip shows, Scarborough and Brzezinski-both married, Scarborough for the second time-have an exceedingly warm relationship; they'd better tone it down a bit because their on-air antics have convinced MSNBC grunts the two are pursuing an off-camera affair.

Poor Dan Rather. You step away from the news game for a couple of years and all those skills you developed as an anchor over three decades just seem to go to pot. (Look at Tom Brokaw on MSNBC.) Rather turned up on Morning Joe today to talk about the Jesse Jackson controversy, but he didn't just accidentally switch around Obama and Osama's first names like so many other news personalities recently: He mentioned how Jesse Jackson "paved the way for men like Osama Bin Laden." And just seconds after pointing out to Tiki Barber that if you're in the spotlight, your every word will be endlessly dissected by the media. Dissect for yourself after the jump.