The list of Ponzi ponce Bernie Madoff's victims grows ever longer, and ever famouser. Kevin Bacon and his beautiful wife Kyra Sedgwick! And poor, impoverished New York University.

Bernie Madoff's $50 billion Ponzi scheme is growing fatally baroque. A French banker was found dead, in a grotesque office tableau, after losing $1.4 billion in the scheme.

A French hedge fund founder who lost $2 billion he'd invested with disgraced money manager Bernie Madoff killed himself in his Manhattan office today.

Hillary Clinton "loaned herself" $13 million last January, when she was losing to Barack Obama in the primaries, and now she has written that loan off, so the 2008 primaries are finally over.

Here is one of those "evergreen" stories that you can run anytime, when things are good or when things are miserable (or on the weekend!): those jokers in congress just gave themselves a raise.

Have you heard the big crazy news? Guy Ritchie, film director, is getting between $76 and $92 million in divorce settlement monies from his now ex-wife, folk singer Madonna Louise Ciccone. That is so much cheddar that maybe a mouse has died from being so happy while dreaming of it! And the funny thing is, who the F was Guy Ritchie before she came along? Just a dude who made some dude-ish British indie crime caper movies (and is now making Sherlock Holmes wiff Robert Downey Jr) and well, hell, he could retire now forever and never have to pretend he has a viable career ever again. Just like:

Tim Geithner is Barack Obama's pick for Treasury Secretary, which is probably the most important job in his administration, and no one really quite knows how to feel about that. He's a Rubinite and maybe responsible for killing Lehman but also he's never been a banker, so there you go. But now apparently Tim Geithner is inexplicably going after beloved FDIC chair Sheila Bair. Not Sheila Bair!

Remember the last month of the campaign, when Barack Obama and David Plouffe would not stop emailing you begging for money? Oh, we need all the money in the world to beat these evil Republicans, they whined. It's all up to you! Send us a dollar or you won't get to abort your baby who'll be drafted to fight in Iraq for 100 years! Well it turns out they were running against an erratic old nut and his slow friend from church, and so even after they wasted a zillion extra dollars in the last three days of campaigning, the Obama campaign still ended up with $30 million left in the bank. $30 million!

According to financially troubled magazine US News & World Report, the best college in the world is financially troubled Harvard, whose endowment has "suffered investment losses of at least 22% in the first four months of the school's fiscal year," according to the Wall Street Journal. Turns out all those colleges investing in real estate and private equity and commodities was only a brilliant idea for like ten years. This is a loss of $8 billion! So now the endowment is only like $29 billion. Is the Ivy League too big to fail?

Rahm Emanuel, as we all know, was Bill Clinton's political enforcer, and then he was a Congressman, and now he's Barack Obama's new Chief of Staff. The end. But wait, there was this part, in between Clinton and Congress, when Rahm was doing... something else? Turns out he was working for an investment bank. Scary!

Another lawsuit has been filed against pervy American Apparel CEO Dov Charney, alleging he sexually harasses women and inflates his company's profits, as usual. But! AA has now filed its own suit saying that Nikky Yang (the ex-employee who's filed this new suit) is disgruntled and stole money while she was at AA and was always hitting Dov Charney up for money even after she left. (Yang is represented by Keith Fink, the attorney already in an ongoing feud with AA). And AA's suit includes many amusing emails from Yang to Dov, including this one from 2004 promising him a nice hot massage girl!:

The Obama team has released its first transition donor list! Among the usual gang of employees of the nation's largest defense contractors (Boeing, Lockheed, and Raytheon have four donors between them!), trial lawyers, radical academics, and government employees, we found this transparent example of yet more illegal donations. Just look at who "Doug Berman," $500 donor, claims to work for.

Hey, Barry Obama had his third press conference in three days. This one was about introducing his Economic Recovery Advisement Board, headed by Paul Volcker, founding member of the Trilateral Commission and former Fed Chair under Carter and Reagan. He's very tall which is reassuring in these dark times. Volcker is also not a Clintonite! He is a Carterite. Reassuring, right? "Help is on the way," Obama said during his presser. That was John Kerry's campaign slogan so we're doomed. Obama also said he'd go shopping this Friday, but neglected to urge Americans to continue spending beyond their means on useless consumer goods, which proves he's a terrible leader. [HuffPo, Photo: AP]

Tim Geithner, the president of the New York Federal Reserve Bank, is the next United States Treasury Secretary. That job is suddenly more important than all the other cabinet positions, because the economy is cratering. Is he a good pick, because he's knowledgeable and not a banker and will think big? Or is he a terrible pick because he's a Rubinite and killed Lehman and the whole recession is all his fault? No one knows but many will speculate wildly. A number of Wall Street types—speaking to Times DealBook columnist Andrew Ross Sorkin on the condition of anonymity because the recession is actually their fault—say Geithner is baaaaad. Banking industry experts agree!

Hey, the government has agreed to bail out Citigroup. Surely we'll now be saved from worldwide insolvency! Right? Or is this a profligate waste of money? We have to level with you: this whole bailout thing has now exceeded the media's ability to critically analyze it. You've heard everyone throw around figures like $750 billion for the earlier bailout costs. This Citigroup thing includes a guarantee of $306 billion in assets. But think about this: according to Bloomberg, the US government has now pledged more than $7.4 trillion to rescue the financial system in the past 15 months. How much is 7.4 trillion?

Barack Obama's Treasury Secretary pick made the stocks jump! We're all saved! Drudge calls New York Fed President Tim Geithner "The Man Who Can Save Economy?" (Family Love Geithner!) Geithner worked, obviously, at the Treasury Department that helped create this mess, in the Bob Rubin and Larry Summers days. His background is solid "didn't foresee this in retrospect obvious problem" economist, what with his IMF and Group of Thirty stints, just like everyone else considered for the job. Woman-hater Larry Summers will still probably do something in an Obama administration. Meanwhile comical New Mexico governor Bill Richardson will be our Commerce Secretary, because he's clearly bored in New Mexico. Hillary Clinton is still dithering about her job offer, and Obama will apparently finally announce that whole thing after Thanksgiving.

Mark "The Maverick, when it comes to blogs and also finance" Cuban is proclaiming his innocence, in detail! Cuban, the mouthy tech billionaire owner of the Dallas Mavericks, was charged with the world's least sophisticated insider trading scheme by the SEC earlier this week. He issued a rote statement the same day denying the charges, and lamented that he wished he could say more. Well now he's saying more! Cuban's basic defense: Yes, I sold a bunch of stock after the CEO of a company I partially owned told me confidential, nonpublic information that I knew would hurt the stock price. But I never agreed to keep the information confidential, so there! Then he says (through his lawyer) that the CEO of said company is full of shit because he can't even remember the conversation. They posted this excerpt of an interview with the CEO:

Tech billionaire, anger-driven blogger, and owner of the Dallas Mavericks Mark Cuban has just been charged with insider trading by the SEC. The (civil, not criminal) charges center on an incident in 2004 in which Cuban allegedly got early insider information about a company he had an ownership stake in, and used that info to avoid a loss of $750,000. We have no idea whether the charges are true, but if they are, it's a foolish business move by a guy who's already been fined more than twice that much by the NBA just for running his mouth. Though it is possible to formulate a wild conspiracy theory about this! Mark Cuban would be just another rich guy except for his penchant for saying whatever pops into his head. He constantly criticizes the NBA, which is a no-no by owners. The flipside is he gets great PR. Although half of it is bad! Oh well. He also has a blog that is sometimes hilarious and not well thought out a bit. At the moment, Cuban wants to buy the Chicago Cubs from Tribune Co., which needs to sell the storied baseball franchise to raise cash, which it will burn in a vain attempt to save its newspapers. The idea of Cuban—a maverick—owning the Cubs absolutely kills traditionalists, who think he would totally ruin all the great Chicago traditions, such as having ivy on the outfield walls and losing constantly. So is it possible that there was some shady conspiracy that caused this allegation from 2004 to surface just in time to (likely) torpedo any chance Cuban has of buying the Cubs? You would have to be a crazy conspiracy freak to believe this, for which there is no evidence whatsoever, so please don't sue us.

Keith Olbermann, MSNBC's loudest, angriest, not-votingest, network-controllingest personality, just signed a sweet new deal. It's a four-year extension of his Countdown show, with two NBC specials and occasional nightly news "essays." It's also worth $30 million! Good work Keith! It was bound to happen, as MSNBC's ratings were way up this election cycle, and Olbermann's show is now a vital part of the network's brand. But it was also brilliant of Olbermann to get the deal now, because there's a good chance he's peaked. Keith Olbermann became the voice of Bush's second term. After eking out a narrow victory and calling it a mandate, the President really outdid himself. The war went to hell, the lies that got us into the war were further aired out, the details of his various unconstitutional surveillance programs came to light, the ideological disdain for effective governance and the bubble of true believers led to the Katrina disaster, and America basically got a serious case of buyers' remorse. One guy on TV sounded as perpetually pissed off and outraged as you did, from 2003 onward: Keith Olbermann! His newfound glee at casting moral judgment on the mendacity of the lunatics in charge was, you know, refreshing after a couple years of the newsmedia wandering in the post-9/11 desert of breathless Bush-worship. Everyone felt kinda bad for selling that stupid and pointless war, but no one quite wanted to be the first to go whole-hog anti-authority. But Olbermann's voice of the opposition was the best thing on TV, leading right up to the 2006 midterms, when America first wholly rejected the Republican party. But now we've just had an election about Hope and Change, and the new guy in charge is not a fire-breathing pissed-off Howard Dean, but a calm and cool unifier promising to bring dispassionate rationality back to the White House. Meanwhile at MSNBC, Olbermann's charming protege is a Rhodes Scholar who's specifically pledged never to have more than one guest on at a time, because shouting and argument and cross-talk don't actually advance the discussion. Rachel Maddow's ratings are phenomenal, and every month there's a new fawning profile of her showcasing how... normal (and nice!) she is. If Olbermann was the voice of the opposition, Maddow is the voice of the new liberals in charge. It won't necessarily diminish Olbermann's popularity and influence (or even his ratings), but he's not on top of the zeitgeist anymore. Let's pray for a great 2012 race to get him across that next contract renegotiation hump. Gingrich/Palin '12!

The skittish stock market rose early this morning, but finished down 73 points, despite the best efforts of Neil "Ferrari" Kashkari, the Republican ski bum in charge of our government's Wall Street bailout package. Neel had a press conference this morning where he explained to everyone why the government is sinking $40 billion more into failed insurer AIG. Then he said "our capital markets are fragile." The market fell for the rest of the day. Dude, come on! How about a motivational phrase? Here's one we know you're familiar with: