The Way We Live Now: looking to the East. The future is in China, friends. Everyone "in the know" knows it. American richies are favoring the Chinese with obsequious bows. Meanwhile, the Chinese rich are assholes, just like us.

The Way We Live Now: hoodwinked. And bamboozled! Where is our revolutionary agenda? What do we get for finally electing a Manchurian Candidate-style socialist Muslim to the presidency? Business tax cuts! We are disappointed! And fearful!

In your feel-good Labor Day science column: A new study from Princeton University tells 14.9 million unemployed Americans what they already know—money can buy you happiness! Oh, you don't make $75,000 a year? Just kill yourself then.

The Way We Live Now: short. And sweet? Well, one out of two ain't bad. Who wants to dwell on economic troubles longer than necessary when it's time to leave work and wish you had the money for a vacation?

The Way We Live Now: getting out. Packing it up. Packing it in. Rolling it up. Leaving the market. Leaving the schools. Leaving the food behind. Leaving Las Vegas. Fuck it.

Burger King's been sold to investment firm 3G Capital for $4 billion. Neat!

The Way We Live Now: ignoring all evidence. Did you buy stocks, like we told you? Wall Street is up today! Despite the fact that we can't even afford the name-brand Trapper Keeper for our kids. Ignore that!

New Census Bureau data shows that in cities across America, women in their post-college decade are earning more than fellas of the same age. Is that even legal? These figures reveal a clear formula to out-earning the patriarchy, right now!

The Way We Live Now: stoically ignoring that which is impossible to ignore. Homeless people are everywhere, for chrissake. Investors worldwide are dumping stocks. Wages are down everywhere. A bad storm's a-coming. Cover up or get blown down.

The Way We Live Now: buying stocks. You better be! We are telling you, brother. You want a plan for long term financial success? Buy stocks. Right now. This is not even a joke.

The Way We Live Now: separating the chaff. It's the easiest job in the world: there's only chaff left. No wheat. No firehouses. No Cipriani. No independent dentists. Not even any credit card profits. Big bowls of chaff for everyone!

Blockbuster—an anachronism in a Netflix/ on demand world—will be filing for bankruptcy next month, according to the LA Times. Fear not, sentimental veterans of many a "Blockbuster night" (making out): the Blockbuster brand shall not disappear.

The Way We Live Now: in perfect balance. For every positive economic development, there is a negative one. Foreclosures down? Loan delinquencies up. Higher pay? Higher risk. Good job? Bad job. Smile? Hit a banker with an acid bomb.

Marc Esparza, the young former dowtown day trader hit with a $172 million tax bill, tells the NYDN that (as suspected) the bill's a mistake, based on his lack of tax filings. Esparza is "hipster chillen'," they report. Okay.

Billionaire Clinton pal Ron Burkle is trying to get his model-caressing paws on Barnes and Noble, the bookstore where you love to sit right on the carpet and read, which is gross. Anyhow. B&N says Burkle will "destroy"(!) it.

American Apparel, Dov Charney's skeevy apparel empire, is in mortal financial peril. Now, the chattering has already begun: Could the company survive without Dov Charney at the helm? Well, of course. How else would it survive?

The Way We Live Now: being proven wrong. It doesn't do much for our self-esteem, but then again, self-esteem and a buck fifty will get you a cup of coffee these days. And a buck fifty's nowhere to be found.

The Way We Live Now: taxonomically. All of our expenditures must be organized into "necessary" and "unnecessary" piles. The hard part comes when deciding how to sort everything. Sliced bagels: necessary or not? Your financial future depends on it.

The IRS says that Marcos Esparza Bofill, a young former Alphabet City resident (reported as a "hipster," for being a young Alphabet City resident), owes $172 million in back taxes. How'd that happen?

American Apparel is having a terrible summer. First, their photo-based, no-uglies-allowed hiring practices got them lots of bad PR (from us). Simultaneously, the company was, you know, financially collapsing. The latest blow: potential delisting from the stock exchange.