The Way We Live Now: giving up on ourselves. That's a step in the right direction! It's ourselves that got ourselves into this mess. The sooner we turn to other, better people for help, the better off we'll be. Hopefully.
The Way We Live Now: putting on the squeeze. The big squeeze, the main squeeze, the tight and juicy squeeze. If you're not squeezing, you're getting squeezed. And if you ain't got a bartender, the squeeze business can be rough.
The Way We Live Now: explaining things very slowly. Over the past few days, we've heard lots of chatter from the chattering class over our new American tax structure. Is it "fair?" We'll break this down as simply as possible.
The Way We Live Now: ringing bells. Alone, at home, by ourselves, where no one else can hear. The Salvation Army is an untenable burden on our souls. All we want is Jesus' blessing, and a small but reasonable bribe.
The Way We Live Now: stocking up on outrage. You can't blow all your outrage at once during this long and protracted class war. You have to parcel it out. Like budgeting for food, or cable, or your upcoming funeral.
Trick question: What's poorer than an American city? Answer: the American state in which that city is located! Haha. But seriously, are you interested in paying to plaster your name on any public property, anywhere? You totally can.
The Way We Live Now: new. And by new, we mean "worse." Saying "new" just kind of makes it seem...shiny, you know? Interesting and maybe even a little adventurous. We're splurging! We're consuming! Even if we can't afford it! Patriotically!
The Way We Live Now: taking emergency measures. We know some of you business types are doing well; you'll be happy to learn that we're taking emergency measures on your behalf anyhow. Unfortunately, the unfortunate will have to be jettisoned.
The Way We Live Now: struggling with duality. We have two options, it seems, and both are bad. Ugly money or poor beauty? High taxes or high unemployment? Big salaries or bad judges? We feel very heroic, so much option-weighing!
The Way We Live Now: stealing everything in sight. Out of necessity, mind you. We're not some common criminals. Common criminals can't get jobs at all. We're uncommon criminals, avenging economics itself, with bold, technically criminal action!
The Way We Live Now: sharing the wisdom. We don't need any eye-opening crisis or life-threatening illness to prompt us to share with you, the consumer, all of our accumulated economic wisdom. All we need is boredom. Bingo, let's go.
