It’s not even 1 p.m. yet, and the U.S. stock market has fallen more than 500 points today, capping a full week of sharp declines and general fear. Financial apocalypse TK??? We hope so—for the excitement! Assuming we don’t get laid off.

Discussions of raising our nation’s poverty-level federal minimum wage are often met with the objection that paying workers more would kill the profitability of businesses like restaurants. Not so, says a new study.

Last year was horrible in many ways, but it was not horrible in at least one way: for the first time since the Great Recession, we have all decided to stop handing billions of our dollars to Wall Street money managers for no good reason.

Predictions about financial markets are, almost without exception, notoriously wrong and worthless. With that caveat: we have our first respectable major DOOM prediction of 2016!

Far be it from Gawker.com to claim to be the finest financial blog “in the markets,” but we can tell you this: your special “high flying” “IPO” stocks are getting clobbered!!!

As recently as last year, oil cost close to $110 a barrel. Today, oil costs less than $37 a barrel. Why? There’s so much god damn oil!

Despite controlling Scrooge McDuck-levels of wealth, Warren Buffett enjoys a reputation as a caring, down-home fella who is better than most other Scrooge McDucks. A new report may put at least a slight ding in that reputation.

You know that the ultrawealthy in America are getting nervous when they enlist Deepak Chopra in their showy, useless gestures about fixing income inequality.

Political arguments over the impact of racism in America can often devolve into a stalemate of feelings. Here is one very concrete way to measure what racism has done—and is doing—to our country.

The Fed just raised interest rates by a quarter-point, the first raise since the big recession. They have to raise them so they can lower them again next time the economy collapses. Get over it. Move on with your life. You have a beautiful family.

A new study finds that the majority of people who were billionaires in 1995 are no longer billionaires. What happened, billionaires???

Today in “Things To Panic About Even Though You Don’t Really Know What They Are”: junk bonds. Ahhhhh!

America! The greatest country in the world—where our robust free market system ensures that our economic growth is the envy of all lesser nations! Right?

With the rise of the “gig economy” has come a debate over who is an employee, and who is truly an “independent contractor.” Do we need to create a new category of worker just for the Uber era?

Uber is now worth more money than General Motors. Will the hundreds of thousands of Americans who drive for Uber ever be able to earn a living wage?

The IRS—the department that collects all the money that funds everything the U.S. government wants to do—is being slowly gutted. What could go wrong?

The people having the most success destroying the Wall Street elite these days are not bomb-throwing anarchists. They are buttoned-up investment types who are just less greedy.

As you all know, there is no internet comment more devastating and definitive than saying something is “Economics 101”—thereby proving that you are right, beyond any doubt. Sadly, this important internet commenting device is now threatened.

Billionaire Hollywood mogul David Geffen announced another large philanthropic gift this week—one that could fully cement him as the most narcissistic and least useful philanthropist in America.

Attention, American voters: make the right choice in 2016. Elect the candidate from the party the firmly vows not to raise your wages. Uhhhhhh.