A woman from Surprise, Arizona was "sick of her children" and asked police to take them so she could "have fun and play." Wish granted: Her children are in protective custody, and she is in jail. [AP, via, photo]

Sunday is Mother's Day, guys. Did you forget?? Well don't worry, you still have two more days to get something nice for the lady what made you. Here are our guaranteed-to-please gift ideas.

Even as your dreams get dashed one by one. Lizzie had a full future planned: college, marriage, professional flautistry... But motherhood shoves all that off the table. Still, she adjusts her ambitions and carries on.

While on the rebound from a relationship of 3 years, Leah got more than she bargained for. Twins! Along with that she got doting Corey, who's employed and has a house. But she can't stop thinking about Robbie...

This video basically teaches you how not to lose your personality in the throws of motherhood. It also tells you that tailgating at your childrens' games is acceptable, and so is taking your shirt off after soccer.

Goldman Sachs Sued for Discriminating Against Working Moms

Wal-Mart is good! Working moms are evil! Moon water flavors! Needle poke studies! These and other wondrous findings from the world of science in today's Science Watch, where we watch the science—voraciously eating facts!

Former Star editor Bonnie Fuller left the celeb magazine world to start a wondrous vapid celeb website. Now, WWD says former Us Weekly editor Janice Min is working on a website of her own. Can she avoid post-magazine online doom?

Lloyd Grove reports that Susan Sarandon's mom was surprised to learn of her daughter's split with Tim Robbins, and that, according to mom, Susan has not since hooked up with the her ping-pong friend Jonathan Bricklin. Also:

From the man who brought you My Son is Gay and The Phone Call, we celebrate John Robert's holiday-themed classic. Watch and laugh.

This cheese-tastic video reminds us a little too much of the "FreeCreditReport.com" jingle, but it channels a pain that all too many of us currently face. Let's face it, facebook is simply not cool anymore.

Fat: the silent menace of new moms and just plain fat people alike. Scientists now tell us that you must either have a small human suckle the fat off your body, or cut your own gut open, to slim down.

Parenthood these days: It is full of challenges, or so we hear! As a parent, will you be able to successfully continue jogging? And what about your tennis game, and the peer pressure that goes with it? Parenting is hard!

This story about the idiot who guessed wrong on the final question on last Sunday's Millionaire annoyed us. Because: a) "24-year-old LA lawyer," b) we knew the goddamn answer and c) we were too dumb to make it on Millionaire.

Sears' new female-targeted marketing site: BustedMoms.com. What could go wrong?

Ann Curry grills the octuplet mom today. Why have all these babies without a steady job, tart? Well, she has one, Ann: media curio. Click to idly watch baby lady entertain you!

Haven't we warned you people that Twitter and all of its attendant microtrends are nothing but trouble? That also goes for "the internet" and "bloggers," and especially for "mom bloggers," a particularly virulent and dangerous subset. Corporate America has now learned this lesson the hard way. The outrage of Twitter moms has forced the big bad Motrin corporation to pull its totally innocent ad campaign for aspirin. Power to the people! Detect the horrible offense here for yourself:

Here is one of the many charming emails your editors have received since we reposted some emails that were hacked and originally posted by Anonymous earlier today, and then called a phone number. Now the "bloggers post their hate mail so you can point and laugh" routine is dead tired, but this one invokes your day editor's mom! "You obviously are too immature to realize that this is a pregnant woman you are bothering. Ask your mom if she approves." We went to your day editor's mom for comment.

Behind every great man is a great mom—and no one knows that more than Tropic Thunder star Matthew McConaughey, who appears to have chosen a perfectly lovely one to bear him a son, suitable for toting to red carpet events and John Mellencamp concerts in a Coleman beer cooler. But what of McConaughey himself? To whom can we attribute his uncompromisingly freewheeling spirit, his Southern sophistication, and, yes, his undeniable sexual ferocity? To put it a little more floridly: Who planted little Matthew's placenta beneath a tree, and tended to it lovingly until it bore fruit? We now have an answer:

"Just found out the the former President of my company is a lesbian. She was married w/ 4 kids! HINT—I work in Publishing," whispers a snitch on the YouBeMom parenting messageboard. No, not Bonnie Fuller, the secret lesbian was an "editor," someone else chimes in. Or, wait: "Wasn't an editor, she was in Advertising.. she has her own company now." Despite the unholy thread that unspools, we still have no idea who the secret lesbian—posited to be somewhere inside Conde Nast—could be. In case you were wondering what else these moms have on their shriveled little minds:Other quality threads include,