This afternoon, the Environmental Protection Agency accepted the resignation of Susan Hedman, who as Region 5 administrator oversaw the section of the country that includes Flint, Mich.

President Obama has signed an emergency declaration for Flint, Michigan—where the water is poison—authorizing the Federal Emergency Management Agency to provide water, filters, and other supplies for three months, and also providing direct federal funding. FEMA will also coordinate relief efforts.

Contaminated water provided to the citizens of Flint, Mich. caused the levels of lead poisoning among children there to spike, and now, with the city in a state of emergency, officials are planning to find out if the water also explains the dramatic rise in cases of Legionnaire’s disease.

Michigan governor Rick Snyder has activated the National Guard to help distribute bottled water and filters in the city of Flint, the Associated Press reports. The governor has been accused of mishandling the city’s lead-poisoning crisis—ongoing since April 2014—which he may have known about long before declaring a state of emergency last week.

The water in Flint, Mich. is poisoned. On Tuesday, many months after its residents rightly suspected its water might be tainted and sickening, Michigan Governor Rick Snyder declared a state of emergency. On Thursday, Flint Mayor Karen Weaver said the cash-poor city might need to come up with as much $1.5 billion to fix its water system, a sad coda to a crisis that stems from a broken down city looking to save money anywhere it could.

Back in October, 46-year-old Tatiana Duva-Rodriguez fired her handgun at two men fleeing a Home Depot in Michigan, hitting a tire in the car they were escaping in. But after being charged herself with reckless use of a firearm and sentenced to 18 months probation she announced that she has chosen to spite America... by never shooting wildly at random people ever again.

As part of her coverage of the recent spike in American Islamophobia, CNN’s Carol Costello invited Hamtramck Mayor Karen Majewski onto her show and then subjected her to Islamaphobic questions. Everything about this interview is extremely bleak.

On Sunday, the governors of Alabama and Michigan announced that they would suspend the relocation of Syrian refugees to their states.

Criminal allegations against a 21-year-old Michigan man have gone from bad to worse after police investigating him for an alleged cancer hoax discovered he may also have sexually assaulted a 13-year-old boy.

The Mighty Marysville, a 93-year-old plant in Marysville, Michigan, tooted its last toot on Saturday. The giant, which was closed in 2001, spewed dust across the St. Clair River.

A woman accused of shooting at two alleged shoplifters as they drove away from a Home Depot parking lot last week will face charges, Oakland County, Mich. prosecutors announced Tuesday.

A woman with a gun and a concealed-carry license opened fire on a shoplifter Tuesday afternoon as security chased the man out of an Auburn Hills, Mich. Home Depot, the Detroit Free Press reports. No one appeared to be injured, and the shooter is cooperating with police.

On Monday, a Michigan farmer digging in his field came upon the ancient remains of a butchered woolly mammoth. “It was probably a rib bone that came up,” said the man who just fulfilled the fantasies of 5-year-old aspiring paleontologists everywhere. “We thought it was a bent fence post.”

The saga of the three children jailed by a judge for refusing to see their allegedly abusive father has taken a strange twist since it played out in a Michigan courtroom in July: the kids now live with their dad after five days of intensive, controversial therapy to make them like him again.

A routine snack-snatching turned violent on Tuesday when a Detroit man confronted a potato chip thief and was shot in the groin, WXYZ reports.

Michigan state rep. Cindy Gamrat on Friday held her first press conference since being caught in an affair with her fellow representative, Todd Courser—despite Courser’s incredibly bizarre attempt to cover it up by implicating himself in a gay sex scandal. Gamrat announced that, pending the results of an investigation, she will not resign.

Michigan Rep. Todd Courser, the man who sent an anonymous mass email to start a fake gay sex rumor about himself to deflect attention from the real extramarital affair he had with fellow state representative Cindy Gamrat, now says he was blackmailed into sending the email by something called the “Lansing mafia” and his now-former aides.

If you’re a conservative state representative having an affair with a colleague, you have a few options. You could fess up, you could keep lying, or, if you’re Michigan State Rep. Todd Courser, you could allegedly try to plant a fake male prostitution story about yourself to deflect attention from your relationship with fellow Tea Party “gladiator” Rep. Cindy Gamrat, news of which you fear is about to break.

In the coming year, a number of both experienced legislators and relative neophytes will ask for your support as they seek election as President of United States. There is, however, only one candidate who truly deserves your vote: Cop and baby skunk with yogurt cup on head.

Sprinkles are a bad ice cream topping that certainly aren’t worth throwing a tantrum over. Alas, this is a lesson learned too late by the woman who was nearly arrested on Saturday in a Michigan ice cream parlor.