• Britney Spears and Kevin Federline's big marriage mistake is finally fixed, but Kevin still has the option to fight for full custody, which he'll probs get. Remember when we used to say things like "Poor Britney?" Yeah, that ship has sunk. [Us]
  

• Wonder if Anna Wintour will use her clout for the forthcoming Jessica Joffe for Target line. [Fashionista]
  

• Are Jessica Simpson and John Mayer dating? Is Jessica's body a wonderland? Do daughters become lovers become mothers? Some other crappy innuendo-joke-laden John Mayer lyric? [People]
• Meanwhile, Nick Lachey and Vanessa Minnillo appear to be getting more serious about their relationship. Individually, they remain ridiculous. [Page Six]
• Brian Williams and Katie Couric have a competition to see who can have the biggest billboard. We can't wait to see who cares? [Page Six]
• Michael Lohan offers a detailed analysis of his prison-made editorial cartoon. That's funny enough. [Lowdown]
• Rush and Malloy say "The laughter has definitely gone out of Joe Piscopo's marriage now that the former Saturday Night Live star and wife Kimberly are divorcing." We say "Joe Piscopo was never funny." [R&M]
• "Rosie Drops Some pre-View Details." Retains all pre-View pounds. [TMZ]

• From his damp prison cell, Michael Lohan sends Lloyd Grove an editorial cartoon depicting his relationship with daughter Lindsay Lohan. We think this guy's got a future with the New Yorker. [Lowdown]
• Oprah chooses 73 of the most camera-ready (but needy!) girls to attend a school she's built in South Africa. [BBC]
• There's no way in hell that Victoria Beckham has this much flesh on her ass. [Us Weekly]
• You know why Kate Moss never says anything? Because she's a complete idiot. The model was rumored to be marrying junkie rocker Pete Doherty in a small ceremony in Indonesia; Doherty was detained in London on drug charges, alas, so we'll have to wait to see how far Moss' stupidity can go. [Gatecrasher]
• For the next season of Survivor, contestants are rumored to be split up according to race. Like that's not going to cause some major issues on and off the island. [Page Six]
• Steven Soderbergh puts an end to his Ocean's franchise one film too late. [IMDb]
• Samantha Cole, the otherwise unremarkable "singer" who slept with philandering Peter Cook back in the 90s, keeps her name in Page Six by screaming at a model, who called Cole a whore and then dumped ice in her lap. For once, we really like models. [Page Six]