• First Michael Jackson dies, and now this? It seems it's over for Tinsley Mortimer and her husband, Topper, now that Tinz is in London where she's taken up with a German prince named Casimir Wittgenstein-Sayn. Why the change of heart? For starters, "Cassie" makes more money than Topper and owns a castle in Germany. Even more importantly, marrying him would finally make the Tinz a princess. And opportunities like that don't come along every day, naturally. [P6, DM]
• Bradley Cooper denied rumors the other day that he's been dating Jennifer Aniston. One possible reason for that: It looks like he's involved with Renee Zellweger instead. [P6]
• Kevin Jonas is engaged. He's one of those annoying Jonas Brothers, in case you're not up to speed on your annoying teen pop stars. [People]
• A few years ago, someone walking through the meatpacking district would have complained about the stench of rotting meat. Nowadays? They're whining that Diane von Furstenberg's store is pumping perfume into the air. [P6]

NBC's Matt Lauer, CNN's Larry King and ABC's Cynthia McFadden have all been dispatched to the Neverland Ranch to anchor programs tomorrow from the Michael Jackson corpse-viewing that Jackson's family says was never scheduled in the first place. [TV Newser]

As seen in this photo, taken yesterday, crowds have gathered outside Michael Jackson's Neverland Ranch, hoping to glimpse his body. Though, word just came down that the public memorial service won't be held at the amusement park of horrors. Getty

Meghan McCain demands the "really hot" Hillary Duff to play her in the movie about her life, Lindsay Lohan is paid big bucks to party, Farrah is laid to rest, Michael Jackson's photographer speaks and Courtney Love suffers from malnutrition.

• Lindsay Lohan will officially celebrate her birthday tomorrow. But it looks like she'll have some extra spending money in her pocket if she decides to buy herself a present. Lohan collected $70,000 to appear at an all-day birthday party in her honor at the MGM Grand last Saturday. [P6]
• A semi-private funeral was held yesterday for Farrah Fawcett. The public wasn't permitted to attend, but a gaggle of photographers was more than welcome. [Us]
• Day 6 of the Michael Jackson mess: No one seems to know who really gave birth to Jackson's kids, no one is totally sure about the final funeral arrangements, and it still isn't clear what drugs he was taking exactly, or who gave them to him. And so on it goes. [Mirror, Sun, TMZ, Us, TMZ]
• On a more positive note, David Gest says Jackson was just another "manly man" who loved women, chowing down at McDonalds, and pursuing his "passion for classic literature." That's nice to hear, isn't it? [Sun]

Media everywhere are mourning the loss of MJ coverage this week as they regretfully turn back to boring things, like Iraq or Bernie Madoff. Here are today's headline highlights, as the web milks this Google trend for all it's worth.

• The urban/music magazine Vibe is shutting down. [Daily Finance]
• Media coverage of Michael Jackson's death is now "receding." Not that there was any other place for it to go but down: A report finds that 93% of the coverage on cable late last week was Jackson-related. [AP, Journalism.org]
• Or maybe not. Katie Couric anchors a big Jacko special on CBS tonight. [NYO]
• Fired Fox News columnist Roger Friedman has filed a wrongful termination lawsuit in New York State Supreme Court against Fox News, News Corp, 20th Century Fox and Rupert Murdoch. He'd like $5.2 million, please. [HuffPo]

An odd local angle to the Michael Jackson saga unfolding on the West Coast: It turns out the Dragon Wagon Kiddie Coaster (left), located at Coney Island, was once part of Michael Jackson's private amusement park at Neverland, according to Tricia Vita, a blogger and reporter for Amusement Business magazine. [Amusing the Zillion via Gothamist]

Anna Kournikova viciously brawls with another woman in a Vegas club, Leighton Meester sings and acts in a video for Cobra Starship, Michael Jackson looked frail on stage at his concert rehearsals and Chris Brown gets shut down by Jay-Z.

• Sarah Jessica Parker and Matthew Broderick took home their adopted twin daughters, Marion and Tabitha, last week. Now they've released a photo of the whole family. Cute! And a nice palate cleanser after all the sordid Michael Jackson news the past few days, no? [People]
• Speaking of grim details from the Jackson case, here's what you may have missed over the last day or so: The doctor at Jackson's house couldn't call 911 for more than half an hour because he couldn't find a working phone (Jackson disconnected them for "privacy reasons); drugs, insiders says, were most likely the cause of death (duh); and Jackson's last will, which dates back to 2002, provided for his kids and mom, but cut his father out completely. [TMZ]

Well you knew this was coming after the LA Times got scooped in their own backyard—An article went up yesterday on their website wondering, "How would we have reacted if TMZ had been wrong about Michael Jackson's death?"

The absurd follies at OK! Magazine, British publisher Richard Desmond's cash-hemorrhaging tabloid weekly, never seem to end. This week they're tossing a desperate "Hail Mary" by paying huge to plaster an image of a dying Michael Jackson on their cover.

Oh, Joe Jackson. Deceased Michael's monster of a father held a press conference today with Al Sharpton in which he managed to lovingly honor his tragically-fated son promote his "record company" and just appear all around looney-tunes.

In a historic first, it seems the National Enquirer's headline from January proclaiming that Michael Jackson had "six months to live" turned out to be spot on. Not that any of us should be that surprised. "When you constantly make things up, you're bound to get something right. Right?" [Buzzfeed]

Happy Autopsy Day! Michael Jackson's revealed him to be a hairless disfigured ghoul, but was also fake. Billy Mays' found that he died of heart failure, not head trauma after a rough airplane landing.

Harlem, especially the Apollo, is the media's unofficial spot to get Black America's reaction to Michael Jackson's death. Matt Harvey dropped by last Friday and listened in on a conversation that was full of adoration and, yes, angry conjecture.

• A second autopsy was performed on Michael Jackson over the weekend just as details from the first were revealed: Jackson was just 112 pounds when he died and his "emaciated body was riddled with needle marks and scars, and his head was virtually bald." In the meantime, his doctor, Conrad Murray, has denied giving Jackson any drugs right before his death and says he found a faint pulse when he first discovered him. Jackson's parents say they plan to fight for custody of Jackson's kids and for control of his estate. And plenty of people came out to celebrate Jackson's life at a couple of BET parties this weekend. And now you're all caught up. [NYP, LAT, WP, NYDN]
• Poor Jen Aniston. One minute she's happy and relaxed and supposedly dating Bradley Cooper and now Cooper says they're just "friends." [P6, NYDN]

Michael Jackson's ex-wife Debbie Rowe, who gave birth to his two oldest children, Prince and Paris, says that she was impregnated through artificial insemination using sperm from an anonymous donor. Thus, she compared herself to a thoroughbred horse.

This is just awful. Earlier tonight CNN's Don Lemon interviewed Joe Jackson on the red carpet at the BET awards, where Jackson displayed indifference over the recent death of his son and then plugged some Blu-Ray disc he's peddling.

Monolithic agency CAA is in all kinds of cookie jars, taking percentages of all kinds of famous cookies' salaries. But did you know about their market research firm...that's crowdsourcing answers on Michael Jackson's death the night after it happened?