Michael Bloomberg: Mayor for Life
Pareene · 09/30/08 02:13PMMichael Bloomberg, the man who we'll freely admit is the least bad man to have run New York in a long time, is seeking a third term as mayor of this great city, which is not actually legal. But, you know, people all like him, even (well-off white) Democrats! So unlike when vicious rat-faced monster Rudy Giuliani tried this, after 9/11, everyone will basically get behind this repeal of term limits thing. Because we need a rich old technocrat independent in this time of great strife! By "everyone" we mean the Times and the Post and the Daily News because the alternatives—what the hell are the alternatives? Some stupid Democrats from the City Council whom no one has ever heard of, and also Marty Markowitz—are lousy and unknown and scary. It has been a peaceful and mostly prosperous couple years for New York, yes. It was, overall, a nice change of pace from the Giuliani years, for everyone. We all got along, there was "consensus." But you know his NYPD are just as miserable and free from accountability as Giuliani's! He recently (admirably) changed the way New York measures poverty, revealing that he has not done very much until now to, like, alleviate any of this poverty. The race and class divisions are basically as bad as they have ever been in New York, right now, after two full terms of Bloomberg. And he wanted the Olympics! Remember that bullshit? So, like, maybe this third term is his desperate last shot at becoming some sort of crusader for the little people? Except he's never seemed vaguely interested in that, until now, sort of. So maybe he just wants to run again to finally ban salt. (Because, hah, that is his real legacy: New York is not allowed to be gross anymore!) All of his advisors advise against a campaign to overturn term limits, because even tho Mayor Mike is quite popular, term limits are even more popular, and seeking to get out them after years of supporting them rubs voters the wrong way. So then who is advising Mike to try this stunt? You will never guess!