Like Wordsworth, William Eville appears to be a Billy rather appropriately surnamed. In a "New York Observed" column for the Times yesterday, Mr. Eville recounts the time "in the early '90s" when he found a homeless person living in his car, which was parked by TriBeCa's "Duane Park...a park in name only." But why would said Mr. Eville be in possession of an internal-combustion engine? Oh, you know, "being from the New Jersey suburbs, I felt that a car was like an essential organ. It was not something I was prepared to give up." But knowing he felt such feelings about giving up said personal-mobility device and the fact that "a garage cost almost as much as rent," why had Mr. Evil come to New York? "I had come to New York to work as a banker. I didn't like the job but at the time I thought it was something I was supposed to do." Hmm, sounds like somebody was ripe for a moral lesson!

Did you give already all you could to charities like those Harvard brats' anniversary hotel room, but you still have that uncomfortable pockets stuffed with money feeling? Well, here's your chance to purge your wallet! A group of second-year MFA students in the Critical Studies program at Cal Arts wants to go to the annual AWP conference in New York, and you're their only hope. They've set up a donation website in order to amass the $4400 they "need" for "AIRFARE, Lodging, Conference Registration, Food." And you will be rewarded, not just in karma, but with a special gift! "All donors who give more than $25 to this incredibly worthy cause will be recognized for their generous contributions in the chapbook of student writings, to be distributed during the AWP conference and afterwards in the Los Angeles area." That settles it: Fuck Darfur!

Our feverish excitement about Fash Week has led us to peek into some darker nooks and crannies of the internet than usual; here's a nugget we turned up about socialite Claire Bernard, who mingled with the 'Tinz et al at that One Scottsdale/Vogue Italia party last night.