[First Lady of gym class Michelle Obama gets a lesson on how to jump from a group of schoolchildren in Mexico City today. Image via AP]

Survivor and Pimp My Ride producer Bruce Beresford-Redman is being held in Cancun, Mexico, after his wife Monica was found dead in the sewer of their hotel. He had reported her missing Tuesday. The cause of death is still unknown.

The ground is still acting up in Mexico in the wake of Sunday's 7.2 quake.

A magnitude 7.2 earthquake hit southern California and northern Mexico at 3:30 this afternoon, local time. The quake's epicenter was 108 miles east of Tijuana in Baja California. The quake was felt throughout the LA area, and there have been scattered reports of damages. [NYT]

VBS went on a field trip to Mexico and uncovered an entire mega-industry that the US west of Austin knew nothing about: Narco-Cinema, low-budget, straight-to-video films about drugs, dealers, and the mob. Kind of like if Scarface met Troma.

The Minutemen are getting back together! (Not the band. Sorry.) The border-guarding, gun-toting vigilantes are heading to Arizona with rifles to "defend" America. Just in time for Congress to take on immigration reform. What could possibly go completely crazy?

60 Minutes did a story last night on the US Border Patrol finally getting technology advanced enough to differentiate between an illegal immigrant crossing the US border and a tumbleweed. If a giant physical fence doesn't work, this definitely will!

"Four people were decapitated, at least 10 people were killed in drive-by attacks, and five people were kidnapped." Tijuana! Party! "At least two of the recent beheading victims were women, one of whom was left naked outside a cemetery." [LAT]

Not to totally alarm you but drugs are now legal in Mexico, okay. Here's how much you can carry! For "personal use," Dr. Gonzo:

[The U.S.-Mexico border near Campo, Calif., last night during border patrol operations in the wake of the fatal shooting last week of a U.S. Border Patrol Agent. The lights of Tijuana can be seen in the distance; pic via Getty]

What is it about Mexico that provokes such drama from reality shows? There's sandy, stupid Real World. The Cabo adventures of the Hills gang. The lonely journey of Danielle from Jersey (mostly made up by me). And now, PC.

Mexican Midget Wrestlers Killed By Hookers. Seriously. You can't make this shit up.

A Michael Bloomberg appointee wrote one little essay for the Huffington Post about how Beverly Hills Chihuahua was the only good thing about dirty-ass Mexico, and now she's been forced to resign. Fuckin' Mexicans, amirite?

At least Mexicana is being honest! Expedia's Mexican travel section, however, could probably use an update given what's going on the world: "Nature has a way of re-energizing itself. And now, so do you. Book your escape and lift your spirits in Cancun." Of course, if by "re-energizing itself," Expedia is referring to a Malthusian crisis, then the ad copy is probably just fine the way it is:

Oh man, Hillary made another GAFFE. She's just a gaffe machine! Bring back Condi! She got along with everyone! See, she didn't know that this image on this cloak was painted magically by God.

Former LA Times writer Daniel Hernandez relays a bizarre story from Mexico: A wrestler had a nervous breakdown on a bus, forced his way off and soon died in the wilderness.

Like Bigfoot, the legend surrounding Britney Spears's sex tape is one that refuses to go away, no matter how terrifying it might be to eventually lay eyes on the real thing. Also, much like Bigfoot, recent news that appeared to finally confirm its existence may have been dashed, as the sex tape's supposed peddler, paparazzo ex-boyfriend Adnan Ghalib, is claiming that no such thing exists. First Anne Hathaway, now Britney — is any celebrity sex rumor safe? Said an angry Ghalib to Star:

Click to viewBoomp3.com Basking in the radiant glow of the Mexican sun, gal pals Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson enjoyed some popsicles while on vacation. Ronson had to instruct Lohan on the proper way to enjoy the frozen treat; it had been a long time since the Herbie: Fully Loaded star had enjoyed one. Although, Lohan picked up the proper technique in no time and was going to town on that popsicle like a pro. A near by guest relations’ assistant nearly passed out from what he called, ‘the awesomeness of that boner party,’ but expressed a fear of the toned twosome being stung by the rogue jellyfish in the middle of the beach. [Photo Credit: Bauer-Griffin] *A Call To The Bullpen is a work of fiction. Although the pictures we use are most certainly real, Defamer does not purport that any of the incidents or quotations you see in this piece actually happened. Lighten up, people ... it's a joke.

Boomp3.com Life must be a permanent vacation for Smart Water spokesperson Jennifer Aniston. Aniston felt that another vacation as on the white sand beaches of Mexico was in order to fully get over the recent split from dorm rock crooner John Mayer, but Aniston still hasn't been able to shake his memory. Aniston said, "I walk into the resort and somebody at the bar is doing that karaoke thing and they're doing one of the songs by that joker. Then at dinner, a mariachi band plays another one of his songs. I may have to go to the South Pole if I want to get away from all of my exes." Then Aniston remembered that it's cold down at the South Pole and she's not a fan of snow pants. [Photo Credit: Splash Pics] *A Call To The Bullpen is a work of fiction. Although the pictures we use are most certainly real, Defamer does not purport that any of the incidents or quotations you see in this piece actually happened. Lighten up, people ... it's a joke.

Skyy Vodka belatedly saw a good opportunity for some free PR with this whole Absolut Mexico ad brouhaha, which really hit its zenith a week ago. But the second-rate liquor company came lumbering in today with a faux-cheeky press release about how they support the Treaty of Hidalgo, which ended the Mexican-American War in 1848. Oh they don't want America to be Mexico. We get it! And Skyy has now reaped some added benefit by drawing the public support of the flag-waving xenophobe crowd at BoycottAbsolut.com! Full press release, with choice patriotic quotes opposing invasion of the US, after the jump.