Friday:
• Feist brings sincerity and talent to her show tonight at Webster Hall — two qualities the scene doesn't see too much. Mates of State and Jason Collet also perform. [flavorpill]
• Photobloggers take over the Apple Store at 6:30. Go and be prepared to see your face on Flickr. [NYC Photobloggers]
Saturday:
• The New School hosts the NYC Grassroots Media conference, teaching starry-eyed youths the values of self-aggrandization and ass-kissing. Welcome to the big city, kids. [flavorpill]
• Starlet meets Star Wars: The Drones play at Southpaw. Costumes optional but discouraged. [Upcoming]
Sunday:
• Everyone knows that French film is the quickest way to restore your self-esteem after a weekend of public vomiting. Reclaim your elitism and dignity by heading to MoMA for afternoon showings of Godard's bout de souffle and Sentier's Le Jardinier. [flavorpill]

Though we know saying so irrevocably labels us as pretentious, if only upper-middle-brow, snobs, we admit that we rather enjoy City Center Encores — a series of one-weekend-only concert versions of old, relatively unheard American musicals. There's a huge onstage orchestra and always a great cast, and it just feels like a very New York-y kind of evening, at least if your image of very New York-y evenings was shaped by a childhood of New Yorker cartoons. And so we thought it was an excellent sign last night when we walked into the first performance of Kismet and rather quickly noticed among our audiencemates Stephen Sondheim, Kurt Vonnegut, and the once publicly editing Dan Okrent.

[Via Bucky Turco, of course.]

• Trippy Icelandic rockers (and we use that term loosely) Sigur R s team with string quartet Amina at Madison Square Garden. They'll bring the warbled beauty, you bring the drugs. [flavorpill]
• Chicago improv group Baby Wants Candy will impress even your most Sondheim-obsessed friends by performing a completely improvised, one-hour musical. And you thought you pulled impressive things out of your ass? [UCB]
• Maybe you wouldn't still be single if you knew how to chew with your mouth closed. Improve your table manners with Mark Teague, who reads from How Do Dinosaurs Eat Their Food? Apparently T-Rex didn't know his salad forks. [Paper]

Sightings are sent in by readers on strong medications; send yours to tips@gawker.com.

In our post-Grammy stupor (oh, Teri Hatcher — why? Why?), unable to find the strength to change the channel, we found ourselves watching the local CBS news at 11 last night. There was a segment on this weekend's murder of Busta Rhymes' jewelry guard, in which they asked the predictably pressing question of whether or not the hard-ass hip-hop image encourages violence. "First Biggie, then Tupac, and now Busta's bodyguard..." Sigh. You know where this is headed, don't you?

• Gothamist celebrates its third birthday while presenting their sixth musical showcase at the Knitting Factory, featuring Burnside Project, Metal Hearts, and Slowlands. Three years old, eh? It seems like just yesterday that Jake Dobkin was just a wee lad, dreaming a big, bloggy dream... [Gothamist]
• All the fun of Haight-Ashbury, but only half the drugs: Elevator Repair Service presents No Great Society, a perfomance piece inspired by the beat writers and their trippy ways. [flavorpill]
• Author Jonathan Lethem gives a reading of hand-picked short stories tonight at Symphony Space. Why use your own stuff when you can get attention reading someone else's? [Upcoming]

Sightings are sent in by readers; send yours to tips@gawker.com.

• Former Paris Review hottie Brigid Hughes reads from the debut issue of her my-way-or-the-highway literary magazine A Public Space. John Haskell and Claudia Gonson make cameos. [flavorpill]
• Continuing with the theme of "couldn't get it published anywhere else," Jon Friedman hosts The Rejection Show, a comedy hour featuring material rejected from other arenas. One man's trash is another man's polite laughter. [Upcoming]
• Matt Pond PA brings his lush, depressing rock to the Bowery Ballroom. California act dios (malos) open, providing just enough jangly pop to make sure you don't kill yourself. [Oh My Rockness]

• Death metal is apparently still a viable form of music, or so Nile tries to prove tonight with Hypocrisy and Soilent Green (which is made of people). [flavorpill]
• Koren Zailckas gives a reading of her bestseller Smashed, which discusses binge drinking and emotional instability among women in college. As if those things were restricted to college. [Paper]
• Today is the final day of the Pixar exhibit at MoMA, meaning it's your last chance to watch Toy Story 2 and still be considered "cultured." [Upcoming]

Sightings are sent in by readers, nearsighted and farsighted alike. Send yours to tips@gawker.com.

Second terms are traditionally the time for hubristic chaos. Domestic spying! Intern blowjobs! Chris Ofili and New York's bus-ad campaign and criminalizing jaywalking! But Mike Bloomberg — rational, pragmatist, focused, technocratic Mike Blooming — he'd never turn into a fascist (or more of a fascist, as smokers might point out), would he?

Friday
• Muxima, the latest film by Chilean Alfredo Jaar, illustrates "tumultuous Angolan life, dealing with colonialism, independence, health crises, and civil war." Nothing says weekend like a little colonialism and an epidemic or two. [flavorpill]
• "Does Comedy Really Matter?" features a number of speakers who are not so much peripherally as entirely involved in the world of making people laugh. Not much discussion there, then. [Paper]
Saturday:
• Calla hits Northsix tonight, bringing their "ethereal, droning aesthetic" to a crowd of hipsters who won't be able to tell it from the noise their heater makes. [flavorpill]
• Lou Reed and Hermes don't really fit into the same sentence for us, but nevertheless, here it is: Lou Reed signs his new book of photographs today at the Hermes Gallery. [Paper]
Sunday:
• Apparently there's some big sporting event going on. If that's not your fancy, perhaps two hours of Liza Minelli on Inside the Actor's Studio might do? Or, even better, you could just watch puppies. [CNN]

This is neither the time nor the place to get into our very conflicted feelings about Park Slope, but suffice it to say we think The Muk Report's proposed t-shirt designs are hilariously funny:

As most of you already know, we are bad people. We lie, cheat, steal and revel in public urination. Our worth as human beings is unquestionably low, and we've always been OK with that. We never have a problem mocking that which secures our place in hell.

Today marks the first day of our favorite elitist ritual, New York Fashion Week — meaning that it's a big, skinny Christmas in Bryant Park right now! If you're not one of the chosen fags and accompanying hags cruising the tents with an invite, however, the Wall Street Journal reports that you're kind of screwed: security knows your type, and they know you only want to go to Marc Jacobs and Tuleh because you want to smell Bee Schaffer's hair.

In this walk the walk, stalk the stalk edition: La Lohan and half a cheeseburger, Andre Balasz and Uma Thurman, Luke Wilson and a girl with bangs, Maggie Gyllenhaal and Peter Sarsgaard, Lauren Bush, Zach Braff, Ed Burns, Sigourney Weaver, Philip Seymour Hoffman, Jason Schwartzman, Liev Schreiber, Liam Neeson, Zooey Deschanel (maybe), Rick Moranis (definitely), Alan Cumming, Rachel Dratch, Giovanni Ribisi, Juliana Margulies, Talib Kweli, Scott Speedman, Danny Bonaduce, John Waters, Debbie Harry, Theodora Richards, Alec Baldwin, Al Roker, Pat O Brien, and Chris Burke goes on with life.

In today's New York Post, media reporter Keith "Scoopy" Kelly plays catchup on the Suns-for-everyone story and confirms that we're not all just imagingind things. Scoopy writes:

• Everything beautiful and noble is the result of reason and calculation, or so say Baudelaire and the curators of the eponymous exhibit opening tonight at the Elizabeth Foundation for the Arts Gallery. Watch the wheels turn at tonight's opening from 6-8. [flavorpill]
• The PLUG Awards defy the meaning of "independent" with an awards show honoring the indie crowd. Becuase every celeb, no matter what genre, deserves sycophants and a red carpet. [Upcoming]
• If you're too indie for indie awards, check out The Red Member with Soft Circle, Lexie Mountain, and Sand Cats at the Cake Shop. [flavorpill]

• "Who Gets To Call It Art?" documents the life and work of Henry Geldzahler, art curator and social butterfly. Art imitating life hoarding art. Or something. [flavorpill]
• Sarah Vowell shares her quirky fascination with death tonight at the Barnes & Noble on Astor Place. It's the ability to cutesify necrophilia that really makes a writer. [Upcoming]
• Two Boots Theater screens Groundhog Day in celebration of the third most important holiday in Februrary (fourth, if it's a leap year). Prizes for the best groundhog costume, if you're feeling extra lame. [Paper]