A hazmet team was called in to dispose of a mobile meth lab set up inside the loss prevention office of a south St. Louis County Walmart by a woman detained for shoplifting.

After learning that Kentucky led the nation in the number of meth labs seized last year, glory-hungry (and hopefully flame-retardant) Missourians rigged up more labs than ever to make sure their state reclaimed the title of "America's meth capital."

Here's your bleak and/or infuriating tale of mortally dangerous desperation of the day: Tulsa police arrested a woman for attempting to make meth inside a Walmart store yesterday. Elizabeth Elisha Halfmoon was in the store for six hours. When police finally noticed her, she was "mixing sulfuric acid with starter fluid in a bottle."

Colorado cowboy hat-wearer David Scott says his stepbrother became addicted to meth after smoking it from one of those glass pipes with the crazy psychedelic swirls in them. So he recently smashed a bunch of similar pipes to take a stand and protest how such pipes "are ruining people's lives."

Darren Aronofsky, director of feature-length anti-drug PSA Requiem for a Dream, is finally focusing his creative energy on that which he was born to do: Terrorizing children in 30-second increments, with the goal of discouraging drug use.

Justice gets at least one positive bit of justice news this week: the Fair Sentencing Act of 2010 went into effect yesterday, bringing the huge disparities in sentencing for powder cocaine vs. crack cocaine somewhat closer to sane levels. According to the NYT, there was previously a 100 to one disparity between the amounts of powder and the amount of crack that would draw equal sentences; now, it's 18 to one. Yeah, that's... somewhat less terrible. U.S. lawmakers truly are beacons of fairness.

All Adam Eubank's brother wanted to do was barbecue a raccoon. He did not intend to get anyone into trouble. But police heard about the raccoon-meal preparations—which took place out in the open, behind their apartment building—and found some buckets of "an unknown material" related to meth-making on the premises. And so the night was ruined.

Cameron Douglas, the eldest son of actor Michael Douglas, who is currently serving five years for dealing crystal meth may testify against one of his suppliers in an upcoming drug trial.

Cal State San Bernardino associate professor Stephen Kinzey not only taught kinesiology, but he was allegedly the leader of a meth-selling biker gang, the Devils Diciples. The Los Angeles Times reports that an arrest warrant is out for Kinzey after police raided his home and found all sorts of goodies. And while we say allegedly, this guy's exteme goatee kind of gives him away. But still, this is pretty crazy:

28-year-old Dartmouth grad student Randy Lamberghts was arrested for attempting to manufacture meth in his apartment. He was a chemistry major, if you can believe it.

Have you ever wondered what it's like to cook meth with an armed Hells Angel named California Sack? Let this ex-con and former Aryan Brother, who once made $4 million in a year cooking and selling ice, explain:

Everyone knows that injecting little kids with botox is bad, but what about injecting little kids with heroin? Yes, that is also a parenting "no-no," as alleged heroin dad Jose Paul Velasquez Jr. can tell you, possibly from jail.

Belated congratulations to Boynton Beach, Fla. police office David Britto, who was named "Officer of the Year" last year! It'll be nice for him to have that award on his mantelpiece to look at while he is on trial for selling meth.

Ever wondered how much meth you can squeeze into your sneakers? Between 800 grams and a kilo per pair, that's how much, apparently. Ten people from a Malaysian "tour group" were caught at the Auckland Airport in New Zealand yesterday, each with roughly the same amount of meth in their shoes totaling just over $8 million (USD). Customs agents were tipped off because the smugglers carried "itineraries that were in English but (they) couldn't speak English."

Yeah, Mondays suck. But at least you're not Shawn Batie, who was arrested Friday high on meth near a cemetery, while "wearing an Oakland Raiders jacket, a g-string and a hair scrunchie around his genitals," okay? [KCRA]

If you're unfortunate enough to live in meth country — basically south of the Mason-Dixon Line, and across the Midwest all the way to Riverside County — soon you might be screwed if you get a cold or your allergies act up.

Poor Katrina Epperson. She was returning to her North Carolina home after getting a license to open a day care center in her residence when she and her boyfriend, Christopher Webb, were arrested for also running a meth lab out of the house. Talk about utilizing the space!

Did you know that you can get high on bath salts? It's true. In fact, bath salts get you so high that states are considering a ban, because bath salt abuse causes "hallucinations, paranoia, rapid heart rates and suicidal thoughts."

Brett Favre's younger sister Brandi — who's previously been in trouble for shoplifting and participating in a drive-by shooting (!) — was arrested yesterday in a suburban meth lab in Mississippi. Narcotics agents entered while the lab was "still cooking."

On Christmas Day, a Chicago cab driver picked up 25-year-old Joseph Hoffman. When they arrived at Hoffman's destination, he was passed out cold. The driver eventually called police, who found a mobile meth lab and other drugs worth $450,000.