If your efforts to convince your dad/boyfriend/brother/manservant to "see someone" about his "issues" have failed, it might be because the man in question has issues with women. Maybe he should see someone about that! Oh, if only he could.

If we have learned anything about you, the Gawker Readers, it is that most of you are constantly finding yourselves in romantic situations that you consider "creepy." Thank god we came along as an outlet for your not-so-sexxxy stories.

Never let it be said that the persistence of a few crazy fanatics can't change the world: a proposal to ban male circumcision (for minors, only!) has officially been placed on the ballot in San Francisco. They did it, the crazy, crazy, crazy bastards! I guess when you take a step back and see the forest for the trees from 30,000 feet, the real lesson in all this is, "If you want to be assured of the right to have a doctor cut the foreskin off your baby's penis and you live in San Francisco, push that baby out before November or else go to a different city to have the baby, or else go to some back-alley circumcisionist."

Fellas: you know how it is, right? Yeah, you know what I'm talking about. You come home from a long day at work, stretch out on the couch with a cold one—and all of a sudden, it's "Honey, can you help me clean up?"

According to a poll by Playboy, roughly a quarter of Americans say they have been photographed or filmed nude. Contrary to the vast majority of anti-sexting PSAs, men apparently do it more often:

Yesterday we published the story of a woman in Midtown who received a "sicere solicitation" of love—via business card—provided that she was "Not Compromised." Many readers hastened to send in their own tales of business card-based solicitations!

Yesterday afternoon, a reader sent us an alarming tale of the perils of love in the big city.

Bubonic plague! Gay cancer! Autistic children! Chocolate milk! Head injuries! Newborn risk! Fat war! Sex aneurysm! And the very latest semen information! It's your Monday Health Watch, where we watch your health—to keep from crying!

Breast exams! Einstein proof! Whisky power! Hair stratagems! Osteoporosis fracture! Baby obesity! Old plants! Healthy barbecues! And the mysterious mind of mankind! It's your Thursday Science Watch, where we watch science—or whatever you call it!

There's been a theory circulating for some time now around the scientific and semen-loving communities, which proposes that that man-made substance can reduce depression. A sex columnist at Popular Science's website decided to investigate if the claims might be true — and good news, ladies-and-certain-gentlemen: It just might!

The sex wars are over, and the men won! Yeah! According to a study! But not just any study—a study of l'amour, a way that guys say "love" when we are being especially seductive.

Masturbatory American Apparel boss Dov Charney has caused a good deal of cognitive dissonance lately: on the one hand, he's institutionalized sexist objectification at his company, but on the other hand, he may actually be innocent of the most recent sexual harassment allegations against him. So it's good that Dov is always ready to bring clarity to the situation. Even when he's innocent, he's still a sleazebag.

When it comes to fertility, the only part of a man's nether region that matters is the part nobody ever bothered to measure: the taint. Scientists at the University of Rochester Medical Center have found that the "anogenital distance"—the distance between a man's scrotum and anus—correlates with male fertility. The greater the grundle, the higher the sperm count. If a man's balls and asshole are less than two inches apart, he is 7x more likely to be "sub-fertile" than his large-grundled peers.

Philosophy! Not only are just about all of us ignorant of the field's meaning, teachings, and history—we're also ignorant of its gossip. That ends today, lucky philosophites! Everyone's talking about Philosophy Department sexual harassment.

Breakup pain! Men and doctors! Mommy medicine! Adolescent specialists! Dangerous dyes! Sleep weight loss! Death rate fluctuations! M.S. marijuana! And eating disorders of the olds! It's your Tuesday Health Watch, where we watch your health—or, like, whatever!

Hair Club for Men—now called simply "Hair Club" in order to communicate to ladies that yes, you ladies are welcome here too, come right in—has made a strategic decision to turn the vast resources of its sly marketing machine (which created "I'm Also a Client") on a new hairless demographic: bikers (the motorcycle kind). This probably makes sense somehow.

For those hoping life will begin at 40: if you're a girl, you should really try to live it up now. A new study has found that women "consider themselves old by the time they reach 29," while men don't start to feel the pinch until they're 58.

Today I read with relish that Grant Show, the former Melrose Place hottie who is having a bit of a career resurgence lately, will have a role on USA's Burn Notice. Thank God Grant is back, because he's only gotten hotter with time. And he's not the only one.

Say it with me, men: "I am proud of my eyebrows. There are many like them, but these eyebrows are mine. I pledge not to pay money to somebody in what is basically a salon (no matter what ridiculous name they may give it) to fuck with my eyebrows. If they get really out of control, well, that's what clippers are for."

Women: always sneaking up behind men, trying to take our money. The latest confirmation comes from a new White House report on the "state of women," which confirms what you'd always suspected: women are catching up. Oh, they're still lagging—women make about 75% as much as men these days, for the same jobs—but they're creeping up from behind elsewhere. They're getting more college degrees! Getting married later in life (30, for college-educated women)! And the wise refusal to be dragged down by a family: