US propaganda merchants, take note: Muslims are slaves to candy. They're attracted to its otherworldly colors; their foreign mouths water for its sinful sweetness. In this ad from Egypt, women are the sweet candy; the hijab face veil is the candy's wrapper; and men are the dirty flies. Uncover your face and be swarmed, ladies! (This is 100% accurate, it's just something Western women have learned to deal with). Click through for a larger pic and translation of this progressive message.

Men are sick and tired of having their masculinity degraded by the soulless, woman-dominated advertising and media machine! AskMen.com, a brave defender of testosterone rights, has assembled a list of the "10 Worst Male-Bashing Commercials." These ads' offensive, accurate depictions of men as bumbling idiots easily manipulated by females will make you ask yourself: "Dude, is this really happening in this day and age?" Sadly, it is. Men still suffer from sexist stereotypes today. The #1 worst male-bashing ad in the universe is below; "the most disturbing portrayal of all is the little girl's arrogance and sense of entitlement," AskMen opines. You greedy young tarts have manipulated a sundae out of us for the last time! Equality is on the menu!

Your search is over, ladies: "Mr. Right Iz Here Waitin on U." On Craigslist! His straightforward message: "Listen If U Really Wanna Get 2 Know Me Just Send Me A Note." Simple, honest, persuasive... and right. And he included a total of 30 pictures with his one-sentence pitch. Including a few unrelated wedding pictures that don't even appear to have him in it. But this handful should be enough to give you the essence of what your new man is all about:

What do you mean by misled?

Do you ever feel like the headline of every CNN story should be "Middle-class Americans leading lives of quiet desperation"? Semi-related: "America's Wives Nagging, Clingy"

Las Vegas: where every imaginable tactic of sex-related extortion will eventually become a business plan. Are you a rich, lecherous man who enjoys escort services as well as golfing, and are frustrated at your inability to combine the two? Well wait no longer, because The Platinum Tees are here to take care of your leering needs. The PT's are essentially a bunch of models from an agency in Vegas, with one key difference: they have been "put through rigorous training" to learn how to be golf caddies. Yes, they "know the difference between a putter and wedge, take care of your ball, clean your clubs, drive your cart, fix divots, tend the pin, and most importantly keep you smiling!" I bet they do.

Word on "The Street" is that CNBC Reporter Michelle Caruso-Cabrera may be dating Gary Parr, deputy chairman of Lazard and a guy who is involved in finance stories Caruso-Cabrera could be covering [Radar]. It's reminiscent of CNBC Money Honey Maria Bartiromo's purported canoodling with Citigroup exec Todd Thompson. This raises an important issue: why do all the rich business guys go for the CNBC women? Haven't they heard of a little place called FOX BUSINESS NETWORK, which put in a lot of effort to hire its own stable of attractive female on-air personalities to lure male viewers? Can they get some love over there? We've decided to help them out; after the jump, five of Fox's foxy professional women, and a real item of interest about each one. Act now, Wall Street jerks!

Among the most "whipped" men in America, according to GQ: Ashton Kutcher, John Edwards, Keith Urban, and Ben Stiller. Their favorite magazine: GQ, presumably. [via Mixed Media]

TheFrisky.com has finally launched! If you have an exceedingly good memory, you'll recall it as the purportedly smart and fun love and sex site for women we previewed for you a month ago, which seeks to sneakily promote "Sex and the City" through dog sex. It seems that they've edited out most of the dog sex, unfortunately, and they no longer want to "bone Barack Obama"—a political shift. So how to put the actual live content into words? How about.... "SexyFashionGuysCuteSoooooooooAnnoying!"

A huge new study of sexuality in France has just been released, with a shocking conclusion: French women like sex. They are becoming more like men in the age they first have sex (17-ish), the number of sexual partners, and the length of their sex lives—90% of women over 50 say they're still getting laid, versus a mere 50% in 1970. But more surprising than that is a worrying trend among young French men: they're just not that interested in this whole sex business, thank you very much!

When angry British drunk Christopher Hitchens wrote his seminal "Why Women Aren't Funny" article in Vanity Fair last year, lots of people got upset. Mostly girls. Milking the manufactured outrage like the publishing geniuses they are, the magazine has finally had a woman take a full shot at refuting the thesis [VF]. Unfortunately, they picked Alessandra Stanley, who proves (not for the first time) that she has not one single drop of humor diluting the estrogen and errors that flow through her veins. So on the second day of the cooing and hubbub over the new Girl Power piece (it took us an extra day just to get through it, ha), it's worth pointing out the unspoken truth in all this catfighting: women will never be as funny as men to men. And men run everything.

"I've seen blogs where if you don't have your name on [a comment], they won't run your answer. I respect those blogs, and the people who run those blogs have a great deal of integrity," said blog-hating ad agency exec Nina DiSesa in an interview we posted earlier today. Among those cowardly bloggers who provide a platform for totally anonymous comments: Nina DiSesa!

Angry McCann Erickson ad agency executive Nina Disesa reminisced fondly to the press today about her former colleague Paul Tilley, who committed suicide late last week. She commended his wisdom and sense of humor. Kind words, and quite a contrast to her assessment of anti-Tilley bloggers as hateful, bitter losers. It's worth pointing out, amidst all the hubbub, that Disesa is currently flogging her book, "Seducing The Boys Club," about how to survive and thrive as a woman in a man's world. Its observations seem to have informed her blog-relations tactics. Below, some of Disesa's top "practical, outrageous, and even controversial maxims" for dealing with men—the dogs!

James Wood, literary critic for The New Republic since 1995, follows recent TNR evacuee Ryan Lizza over to the New Yorker. [NYT]

Millions of Americans are crowding around the TV or at least occasionally glancing up from their mugs at the bar to check out the NFL Draft today. Although this seven-round yawnfest mostly features at best reluctant teams picking talent that seems the least likely to implode under animal-abuse charges, colossal fan expectations, and the cold-hearted business features of the NFL, there's occasionally reason to watch. Take, for instance, hunky first rounder Brady Quinn of Notre Dame, who has sports fans licking the hot sauce and blue cheese from their chops every time he drops another position.

When happily divorced Charlie Sheen isn't hotly anticipating being on the receiving end of one of his basket-tossed, pigtailed companions, he's hard at work raising American morale with his weekly antics on Two And A Half Men. Realizing that his role of Charlie Harper is one of TV's great, iconic comic creations—forged in the grand tradition of Ralph Kramden or Archie Bunker, just without any discernible character traits, idiosyncracies, or gifts for physical comedy—the show's producers are finally compensating Sheen for his creative contribution by making him the highest paid sitcom actor on television:

Given that making fun of (or even mentioning) metrosexuals ceased to offer any sport or reward some time ago, it's good that we now have the entirely manufactured backlash against metrosexuality to mock. The New York Post is on stereotype-reinforcement patrol, never fear. Jokey masculinity experts like "Tucker Max" and "Maddox" have books to shill and brands to build, so get with the program and help American men get their balls back. Research indicated that manly men were "angry" that "advertisers were out of touch with their interests." Remember how enraged you were the last time an advertiser didn't cater to your interests? God, that pisses us off too. Hope awaits after the jump.