Mel Gibson and gal pal Oksana Grigorieva heading into Balthazar for lunch yesterday ... Jessica Simpson leaving the Ritz-Carlton in Midtown ... John Mayer walking around downtown ... Ivanka Trump arriving at a book signing at Barnes & Noble ... Kelly Rutherford heading to the set of Gossip Girl on the Upper West Side while Blake Lively and Chace Crawford talk on a bench nearby ... Matthew Broderick walking son James to school in the West Village ... Celine Dion leaving the Ritz ... Chris Pine walking by himself ... and Sarah Jessica Parker making her way to the set of Sex and the City 2 with a bunch of fans following behind her.

[Not to be outdone by Gibson, Bill Murray caps off a career working with gophers and groundhogs by unveiling this fierce-looking Badger at the Fantastic Mr. Fox press conference today in London. Image via Getty]

• Jeremy Piven, now fully recovered from his bout with mercury poisoning, has been squiring lots of women around town in recent days. He was out with "a super-pretty African American girl" last Friday; a day later, he was at the Rangers season opener with "a gorgeous blond." Let this be another reminder, however, that short, balding guys can date whoever they want as long as they're on a hit TV show. [P6]
• Producers for Tinsley Mortimer's reality show are reportedly having a hard time getting her friends to sign on. Peter Davis, the Tinz's half-brother-in-law, wrote on Facebook that he has "zero interest in playing a warped, twisted version of myself on television." And socialites Zani Gugelmann and Dani Stahl have also passed. So far the only person confirmed is her sister, Dabney Mercer. So does that mean her ex, Topper Mortimer, is out, too? [P6]
• Padma Lakshmi has said she'd like to keep her pregnancy a private matter. And judging by pictures of her at various parties this week, she's barely showing. But none of that stopped her from telling a reporter that she needs to keep her belly "really lubricated" these days: "Every morning, there's a buttering ceremony after I get out of the shower," she said. "It's really like basting a turkey with body butter." [People]

Are Jennifer and Brad going to reconcile? Will Nancy Grace eat Jon Gosselin's face? Can Levi Johnston get in shape for Playgirl? And why do women find Jeremy Piven attractive? Welcome, inquisitive reader, to your Wednesday morning gossip roundup!

[Mel Gibson jogs down the street with his hand up a beaver. If only this weren't real. Image via Getty]

• Claire Danes and Hugh Dancy got married in a quiet ceremony in France a few weeks ago. Sneaky! [Life & Style]
• Emmy Rossum's husband, music exec Justin Siegel, has filed for divorce. (Their 2008 secret marriage was only discovered when the couple was reported to have split up in August.) Naturally, Siegel is asking Rossum to pay for the divorce and he's seeking spousal support, too. [TMZ, Us]
• Yet another book is coming out alleging that Bill Clinton did inappropriate things. In her new book Government Girl: Young and Female in the White House, Stacy Parker Aab claims Clinton groped her in a hotel room in 2000 and his pal Vernon Jordan tried to kiss her twice. Good thing the poor girl got this all off her cheat a mere nine years after the fact. [NYDN]

Is Kanye West considering rehab? Would Michael appreciate Janet's mournful gesture? Should we all just forget Mel Gibson's anti-Semitic ways? So many questions! Get some answers in your Tuesday morning gossip roundup....

Once upon a time Denis Beausejour was a wealthy ad exec at the world's largest advertiser, P&G. But guess what: he was also a major sex addict. Luckily now he has found Jesus and shared his sexy redemption story.

Anna Wintour wants to stay out of the limelight, Lily Allen's friends talk trash, and Mel Gibson's girlfriend's unborn child is totally making her fat. All that and more in your Wednesday morning Gossip Roundup!

• Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen and their boyfriends, Nate Lowman and Justin Bartha, had super evening out the other night. It involved steak, making out, tickling, and "chain-smoking cigarettes until after 4am." [P6]
• Derek Jeter and Alex Rodriguez aren't on the friendliest terms these days. Now things have turned frosty between their respective girlfriends, Minka Kelly and Kate Hudson. [P6]
• Heidi Pratt appears in the new issue of Playboy. But you won't find any nude pics of her in the magazine. She says she won't strip down completely until after she has a few "upgrades" performed by her plastic surgeon. [Us]
• Kourtney Kardashian is pregnant. So who's the father? Either she's not saying because she plans to use the news to gin up ratings for her crappy reality show, or becaue she doesn't know herself. One or the other. [E!]

Rupert Murdoch's hanging out on his 183-foot sailboat, in Alaska, reportedly with Mel Gibson; Sarah Palin is probably there too, chattin' n' cuttin' deals. But why not rent this beauty for your own sexy trip? Just $310,000 per week.

Jude Law has knocked up an unnamed lady-friend, Mel Gibson attacks someone in a club, George Clooney has an Italian "lapdance model" by his side, Mischa Barton's friends are worried about her and Amy Winehouse's dad fakes a heart attack.

Mel Gibson announces his next big movie role, and it's a strange one. The Green Lantern movie narrows its potential leads down to three curious choices, and little beaver Jon Heder has landed a TV show on cable.

• The father of Mercy James, the girl being adopted by Madonna, says he has no plans to object to the adoption, and a nanny and nurse have already touched down in Malawi to take care of her. So it looks like the little girl will be climbing aboard Madonna's jet to head to NYC any day now. [Reuters, DM, Sun]
• David Carradine's funeral took place in LA on Saturday and more than 400 mourners turned up for the occasion, including Lucy Liu, Michael Madsen, Jane Seymour, Tom Selleck, Daryl Hannah, Lucy Liu, Edward James Olmos, and Rob Schneider. [Us, AP, People]
• Jeff Goldblum, who is 56, and his new girlfriend, 21-year-old Lost actress Tania Raymonde, "can't keep their hands to themselves," which may explain why they've been seen "making out all over town." [AMNY]

• It looks like it's over for Paris Hilton and boyfriend Doug Reinhardt. Please excuse us while we go get a big box of tissues; we really weren't mentally prepared for news this upsetting this morning. [People, Sun]
• A couple of weeks ago, it was Gwynnie Paltrow who was getting blamed for setting A-Rod up with Kate Hudson. Now real estate "superagent" Adam Modlin is taking credit for brokering the transaction. Go figure. [NYDN]
• Maybe Kanye West and Amber Rose didn't break up, after all. Or maybe they did break up, but they're spending a lot of time together anyway? It's a mystery, really. [P6]
• Coco Rocha is not going to be an intern at Vogue this summer. She's just spending a lot of time there so she can "learn more about the business." [WWD]

Mel Gibson is about to go through a messy divorce, which explains why in recent weeks he's slashed nearly $10 million off the price of his vast estate in Greenwich. Originally priced at $39.5 million, the 15,800-square-foot "Elizabethan-inspired Tudor mansion" is now available for $29.75 million. The 75-acre property comes with lots of extras, including a terraced pool, tennis court, greenhouse, stable, staff houses, log cabin and stream-fed pond. The downside? Unless prospective bidders happen to be devoutly Catholic or just die-hard fans of The Da Vinci Code, they'll have to plan on spending millions more freshening up the spooky, church-like home. After the jump, a little tour of a property you would not want to wander around at night.

What does one pop culture horrorshow do when he wants to publicly mock another, even more terrifying pop culture horrorshow? He goes on the soon-disappearing Jay Leno show. Today we have drunken Judaica scholar Mel Gibson vs. horrifying swamp breeder, Nadya 'Octomom' Suleman.

Rihanna may be getting over Chris Brown by boning Kanye West, Jesus Luz puts Madonna in the "friend zone," Mike Tyson's 4 year-old daughter is on life support after accidentally hanging herself with an electric cord, and Brooke Shields expresses regret for not slutting around when she was young.

• Alex Rodriguez has a new, more age-appropriate celeb to spend his lonely nights with. The Yankee was spotted with Kate Hudson at a UES restaurant and outside 15 Central Park West, the apartment building where he rents. And they seem happy, too, which may be because she doesn't force him to wake up early on Saturday mornings to attend Kabbalah classes. [P6]
• Scarlett Johansson and Gwyneth Paltrow are reportedly butting heads on the set of Iron Man 2. Gwynnie is supposedly mad that Scarlett's been "hogging the limelight" and demanding too much attention from the crew. [Sun]
• It looks like Mel Gibson's new girlfriend is pregnant, after all. [MSNBC, P6]
• Estée Lauder CEO William Lauder and his wife Karen have split up. [P6]
• Penelope Cruz missed a scheduled appearance with Harvey Weinstein in Cannes this week because of food poisoning, although Harvey says she's expected to recover in time for the premiere of their new movie tonight. [Us]

Paris Hilton's neighbor offered her landlord money to throw her ass into the street, Mel Gibson has definitely knocked up his Russian girlfriend/mistress, and A-Rod is boning romantic comedy actress Kate Hudson.