As USA Today reports:

Have you heard about Richard ("Don't Call me Dick Blow anymore") Bradley's book Harvard Rules? No? Then you clearly haven't been reading The New York Daily News this week.

Marty a made man?
After years as a good earner, New York's hometown helmer is poised to enter Oscar's family

Last week we told you about the most exciting eBay auction since that carrot that looks like Jim Nabors. (The best $22.45 we've ever spent!) Of course, we're referring to the Gotham Magazine internship, which benefits After-School All-Stars.

· Times restaurant "critic" Frank Bruni dissects the pros and cons of the Time Warner Center's fine dining establishments. Pro: the meals are fabulous. Con: you have to schlep through a mall to get to said meal. Genius, Frank, pure genius. [NYT]
· We've often wondered where one obtains those little bags used for various drugs. If you know, help a brother out. [Craigslist]
· Is hip-hop mogul P. Diddy making a move to acquire part of Andrew Lloyd Webber's company, the Really Useful Group? And, if so, how will The Gays react? [AP]
· Aside from the reader who informed us that "Paris Hilton is a tired old queen," some of you might be interested in a play-by-play account of Paris's appearance on the Ellen DeGeneres Show. Just try not to self-mutilate yourselves while you read. [Jossip]

From The New York Times' Johnny Carson's Long Symbiosis With New York, by Sam Roberts:

We don't know what you're doing on February 4th, but you better believe we'll be shoving lit firecrackers up our asses in honor of Daily News gossip monkey Lloyd Grove, who'll be gracefully sliding into his 50th year (celebration at PM, natch). Thanks to a complete lack of BCC usage from the party's organizer, we know exactly who to expect at this red-carpet gala:

From her bunker in Park City, NY Times film reporter Sharon Waxman gives the New York Observer a little perspective on the unexlpoded-landmine-and-mass-grave-riddled Hollywood beat:

Today's Times devotes an unusual amount of space to debating an issue that's been eating away at literally tens of people: How autobiographical is Curtis Sittenfeld's debut novel, Prep? Felicia R. Lee is on the case:

That is awesome!

We understand why Matt Drudge chose to run this particular photo of Ted Turner: it scared the hell out of him. But wouldn't this photo disturb him even more?

The New York Observer unearths yet another gig in the multi-hyphenate career of writer/editor/publisher/educator/pirate and super hero products mogul/voice of his generation, Dave Eggers: blurb-o-mat.

Newsweek has some inside dope on this month's upheaval at The Paris Review, beyond just the announcement of editor Brigid Hughes' departure. As Michael Hastings writes:

Not since the end of Kill Bill, vol. 1 has there been a cliffhanger as tantalizingly cruel as the ending of Michael Chabon's Inventing Sherlock Holmes in the new issue of The New York Review of Books. (Yes, we read The New York Reivew of Books: their fabulous party page photos make Gotham's look like out-takes from Let Us Now Praise Famous Men.)

Buried inside the Daily News' report on dogs in Brooklyn Heights being electrified by faulty Con Ed wiring is this:

Okay, but we need to know more. Is it venous? Or itchy and burning?
Drudge Report

Someone in the E! Online Flash department is having a blast this week.
E! Online

America is still reeling over William Safire's retirement, um, yesterday.

· After 32 years, William Safire says goodbye to his home on the right side (both literally and figuratively) of the Times op-ed page. Weirdly, he doesn't close with "Safire—Out!" [NYT]

Okay, we might have to revise our post from Friday that declared The Stranger's "Inaugural Drinking Issue" the magazine/newspaper "Cover of the Year."