Tim McGuire used to edit the Minneapolis Star & Tribune. Now he gives cranky speeches about journalism. He recently told the Northwest International Circulation Executives that they have to "make their own sandwiches," which is maybe code for something. Or maybe literal! He goes on to say that thousands of newspapers will soon die but let's not worry about it, they were weak and deserved to go. Also: Thomas Friedman wrote a "tremendously important book" so you really don't have to take anything he says seriously. [McGuire on Media via Romenesko]

So, have there been any updates in the prolonged daily rollout of salacious details about "Preston," the mystery professional athlete who allegedly had a fling with Terrance Dean, former closeted MTV producer and author of the upcoming book on the gay side of hip hop? Well yes there has been an update! Though we must say, he's really trickling this story out slowly. Today, Preston—who we now know is a pro basketball player—reveals his down-low status, and then takes Terrance home to meet his mom:

How satisfying for Rupert Murdoch to sit on the top table at yesterday's dinner to celebrate Time magazine's issue celebrating himself and the other 99 most influential people in the world.

Hey, New Yorker? We all—every single one of us—have a stack of unread New Yorkers that we feel guilty about not having read yet. So just chill on the whole Twitter thing, mmkay? Especially if you Twitter things like, "Rahm Emanuel, undecided superdelegate, said that Obama is the 'presumptive nominee' during a conversation at The New Yorker Conference." Dorks. [New Yorker Dot Com]

The Parents Television Council—the shrill right-wing arbiter of entertainment morality last seen reprimanding companies for associating with rappers—is now busy condemning the brilliant, violent, and controversial new video game Grand Theft Auto IV. Unfortunately for the forces of purity, the Council decided to do its condemning primarily by making things up:

Animal NY street chronicler Bucky Turco took the bait of our sighting this morning of the elusive British stencil artist Banksy. Bucky traipsed over to Thunder Jacksons in the West Village and captured THE FIRST PICTURES of this new Banksy piece, which have just increased the value of the building 25-fold [UPDATE: Or have they? Gothamist says this work is by Nick Walker, not Banksy. We're investigating. More to come.]. Click through for some larger pics of the three-part work, and then go over to Animal NY to read some more clues that Bucky gleaned about the artist . Journalism in action:

This week Susan Edgerley, an assistant managing editor, is answering questions from the public on the New York Times' website. Her job, according to her, is "to listen to the career aspirations of the people in the newsroom and help them realize them," and to help the paper integrate its web and print operations more closely. But according to a tipster with a grudge, Edgerley's real title at the Times should be Shouter-In-Chief!:

Flemming Rose, the Danish newspaper editor responsible for publishing the controversial Muhammad cartoons that caused a global Muslim fundamentalist uproar in 2006—and which still threaten the life of one of the artists, who has been condemned by Osama Bin Laden— has a message for all the American papers that refused to publish pictures of the cartoons even as they were writing news stories about them: thanks a lot, pussies.

Beauty product purveyor Dove has finally responded to allegations, first reported in a New Yorker story, that the company retouched photos of the "Real" women in its "Campaign for Real Beauty" ads. Which would make them big hypocrites. But according to a statement from Dove this morning (via its PR agency, Edelman), the New Yorker was wrong. The company even got a quotable refutation from controversy-courting celebrity photographer Annie Leibovitz! Their full denial is after the jump.

Sure, the current dicey economic climate has reduced America to nation of terrified food hoarders. But more importantly, it has cost us some of our annoying and unnecessarily strange advertising icons: Applebee's Wanda Sykes-voiced talking apple, and a bunch of guys running around in bizarre red pigtail wigs on behalf of Wendy's. Take a moment to mourn them. "Both campaigns were meant to attract younger diners," the Times reports. But they failed, because kids aren't doing as many drugs these days, I guess. The companies' new advertising strategy? "Hey, look at our food."

It is the inevitable coda to the many problems at Hachette — the loss of Elle's Project Runway ties, the layoffs, the pathetic Web traffic — and according to Page Six it has finally begun: Nina Garcia is leaving Elle. According to the gossip page, the Runway judge is following her reality fashion show to Hearst's Marie Claire. Of course everyone saw this coming, literally. Garcia was recently spotted coming out of the Hearst building after ditching a big Elle party a couple of weeks prior. But the likelihood Garcia will remain on the show offers some faint hope to Runway viewers that new host network Lifetime won't be able to wreck it completely. It also raises the question of whether Marie Claire will somehow ruin Garcia completely, but she's survived at one dysfunctional, second-tier fashion title already, so why worry? [Post]

Kooky libertarian Ron Paul has already lost the Republican presidential nomination to John McCain, but he's technically still in the race and even picked up 16 percent of the no-doubt-minimal Republican voting in Pennsylvania. And Paul apparently still commands an army of internet zealots who spam online comment boards in between World of Warcraft guild quests, because his troops just pushed Paul's new book Revolution to the top of the May 18 Times bestseller list for nonfiction. Vanity Fair took a look at some of their shady tactics, happily confirmed by Paul's publisher Grand Central:

Jackie Warner, the personal trainer star of Bravo's reality show Workout and popular fantasy girlfriend of straight women, is facing a fan backlash for acting rude on the show. They're calling for a boycott! Apparently she fired a guy named Peeler (rudely), and now she's being branded as a "negative icon to the gay community." Harsh! Shouldn't that type of forceful condemnation be reserved for, you know, Perez Hilton? [LA Rag Mag]

What's the word on the street these days? "Word on the street is that Brian Anthony is also fighting hard to open for Madonna on her upcoming "Hard Candy" tour." This Brian Anthony, who is some type of music maker, did a mashup of his music with Madonna's and put it on his Myspace page. Now, "The 'Worked Up!' mash-up is being passed around the Madonna camp and the buzz is BIG on it." How can we be so sure? Because we got the information firsthand, in a hilariously inept press release from Jim Strzalkowski, fantabulous PR man—and fan—to the D-list stars!

Terrance Dean, the former MTV producer who's about to release his hotly-anticipated-by-us book on the gay secrets of hip hop, has provided a few more details on "Preston," the mystery pro athlete who Dean says he had a fling with at an island resort. So all of you who guessed football players, baseball players, or Mike Tyson: wrong!:

Everybody listen: Scarlett Johansson is saying stuff. About men. Heroic men! Iconic men! Men she would like to honor! The blonde actress, who insists on putting out an unwanted record, reveals the five guys she considers her "dads": Woody Allen, Bill Murray, Tom Waits, Barack Obama, and Bob Dylan. Suck it, actual dad! While a waggish type might be tempted to point out that none of these "dads" saved her from looking like an alien albino on the cover of Paste, a wiser person would examine her dad choices and ponder the question: Aren't these just a bunch of random old guys that probably don't even know her that well?

Steampunk! According to the NYT's Thursgay Styles, it's a "subculture that is the aesthetic expression of a time-traveling fantasy world, one that embraces music, film, design and now fashion, all inspired by the extravagantly inventive age of dirigibles and steam locomotives." They describe steampunkers as fusspots with a taste for gaslight-era style: "he owns a flat-screen television, but he has modified it with a burlap frame. He uses an iPhone, but it is encased in burnished brass." But steampunk's been around for a while, of course. Despite the length of the piece, glossed over is the fact that this hot new movement started with a book called the Difference Engine—in 1990!

"The Resistance," which describes itself as a "Christian Group" but, judging by its website, is more of a "Wacko Conspiracy Theory Group," has just launched a boycott of Starbucks. They object to the coffee chain's new retro-style logo, which features a mermaid who wantonly possesses boobies. They "might as well call themselves Slutbucks"! In the past, The Resistance has lobbied celebrities like Paris Hilton and Tom Cruise to change their "ridiculous" behavior. So their calls for action have clearly been huge failures thus far. The full, weird press release is below.

You know that Dove "Campaign for Real Beauty," which featured women slightly less skeletal than the average model, and therefore demonstrated that Dove is the greatest, most big-hearted company ever in the world? Well now there's a scandal about it! A new New Yorker story about Pascal Dangin, the world's "premier retoucher of fashion photographs," contains this tidbit on Dove's campaign, which ostensibly celebrates authentic, unadulterated womanhood: