Julia Allison posted an email conversation with the editor of Wired, the magazine that, in case you missed it, put her on the cover this month and thus made her famous for being famous for nothing. Ever the crafty self-promoter, Allison asked if her cover was as good for Wired as it was for her: "I hope - that as time goes on, you'll be proud you took the leap," the Time Out New York dating columnist wrote. Remember aspiring fameballs: follow up is key. Wired editor Chris Anderson replied, "I feel great about this one." So sweet. In another moment protocelebrities should study, Allison makes a thinly-veiled pitch for some kind of Wired writing gig by pretending she's tired of all the self-promotion (for real this time!) and wants to get back to her "roots" (what??) as a writer:

How does David Carr pull this off? The Times media critic writes in his forthcoming memoir of drug addiction that he kidnapped his children, smacked around his girlfriends and left two babies in a near-freezing car on the street for hours while he got high. This in addition to dealing drugs and fathering crack babies, which we already knew about. It's all in his book excerpt from next Sunday's Times Magazine. And yet, after reading the account, it's remarkably hard to detest the guy.

Thanks to Wonkette for reminding us that satirical caricatures are so hot right now! A county commissioner running for re-election in Oklahoma sent a comic book to everyone in his district with over-the-top drawings of "pedifiles," "pedaphiles," anal sodomites, the devil and "liberal good ol' boys" all trying to frame him (on felony campaign finance chages). Oh, sure, at first the drawings might look like an old-fashioned nasty smear campaign in cartoon form, rather than sophisticated ironic commentary ala the New Yorker's Barack Obama cover. But this little graphic novella can't help but lampoon itself, what with its portrayal of the full gamut of Christian extremist politicking! Assuming that Times op-ed contributor Timothy Egan was correct about red states having a well-developed sense of satire, Oklahoma City should be certifying gay marriages by Labor Day. More hilarious frames after the jump.

Peter Braunstein, the former WWD writer who went psycho and turned into a rapist on the run a couple years back, has been sentenced to 23 years in prison in Ohio. That's after he finishes his 18-to-life bid in NY. He called himself a "Hamlet character," complained about the "absurdist quality" of the trial, and promised to orchestrate his own murder in jail, preferably before Christmas. So, still crazy. [NYDN]

The predicted awfulness of CBS' upcoming American Idol-style ad jingle show Jingles has been confirmed, months before it actually debuts. It seems that-incredibly-hundreds of people have already auditioned for the show, and many of the audition tapes are available on YouTube. Ad Age has viewed them, and predicts a "trainwreck." We only have the stomach to bring you one of the auditions; below, a sample jingle for "Fruit It Up" candy, from a bizarre pink-clad singing duo. What would Gene Simmons have to say about this?

"It is, unfortunately, not enough to be honest in this city," writes 20-year-old NYU student Jess Roy on her blog Jess and Josh Talk About Stuff. Meet Jess: she wants to make it in the New York media jungle, went to some annoying-sounding literary parties, and is now escaping to Paris for a few months. And she's feisty! "I will not give blowjobs for bylines. I will not laugh at peoples' unfunny jokes because I want them to be impressed by me. I will not become someone else so that I can be absorbed into this elite, nefarious world where people trade intellect like currency." Oh, but there's more, written for the Daily Intel. After the jump, a harrowing tale that includes "n+1 interns, underage Lolitas in slutty dresses... sucking lollipops and carrying six-packs of Blue Moon."

Bottled water is a bit like smoking: deep down, we all knew there was something wrong with it from day one. Environmentalism has been a widespread subject in our public consciousness for more than 30 years now. Did anyone really believe that getting our water out of 16-ounce plastic bottles would be an efficient long-term solution for humanity? Despite that, the bottled water industry has done an admirable job using sly marketing magic to make us all feel like chemical-ridden cheapskates for drinking out of the tap. And a new book called Bottlemania breaks down the corporate spin techniques in a straightforward way that already has me drinking exclusively out of the toilet:

Keith Olbermann and Rupert Murdoch's media empire keep adding to their illustrious history of mutual hatred. Last month, the Murdoch-owned Post's Page Six accused the broadcaster of valuing ketchup more than the memory of the newly dead Tim Russert. Earlier this week, Page Six ran a particularly provocative item accusing Olbermann of being, uh, too nice to the departed Tony Snow. And last night, Olbermann had his revenge for that; he was forced to call Page Six "sick, sick people" and big liars for all their lying lies. Click to watch his righteous thunder. We report and you decide, ha ha!

The economy these days is terrible and scary! Uh, notwithstanding yesterday's biggest gain in financial stocks in two decades. The important thing is, business figures must look terrified for the future of us all. So the WSJ had to redo some of its overly happy portraits (like Citigroup CEO Vikram Pandit's, pictured). Below, a larger version of Pandit, and before and after shots of Hank Paulson, courtesy of CJR. Their furrowed brows will solve the credit crisis:

If you didn't think reality television could get any better than a show about people singing ad jingles and being judged by scandal-plagued former Wal-Mart marketing chief-turned ad world fameball Julie Roehm, think again! Roehm-whose flirting once cost an ad agency a $580 million contract-can't judge all those jingles by herself. So CBS, in full scrambling mode, has selected another judge who is equally respected in the advertising industry: KISS burnout and sex tape star Gene Simmons!

"The feeling at 4 Times Square is that [Si] Newhouse isn't retiring anytime soon... But those close to Newhouse have heard of a possible succession plan that involves the creation of a committee of several top Newhouse family members." [WWD]

New Yorker editor David Remnick went on the Charlie Rose last night to talk about the whole to-do over the Barack Obama caricature cover. OH GOD JUST LET IT END, right? Remnick kind of feels the same way. But he did take a fun swipe at useless Washington Post media critic Howard Kurtz, and also talked about how his magazine is totally in the bag for Obama and will probably endorse him, so maybe everyone should stop hating him, a position that seems likely to cause some sort of problem for the magazine down the line. He also repeatedly lavished praise on Daily Show host (and New Yorker defender) Jon Stewart, who he called "our greatest press critic." Find out what special favor Remnick did for Stewart by clicking on the thumbnail at left for the clip, and also have fun trying to figure out if Remnick truly believes that "this [cover] image may be too complicated to work out for some people" (his words) or that such a notion is elitist, as he also seems to argue.

Vogue has always acted disdainful of reality television. When it became clear the fashion title had passed on something big with Project Runway, Vogue editor Anna Wintour sniffed that her magazine "is not in the business of making entertainment out of the struggles of new designers." Fine. How, then, to explain Vogue's seeming reversal, its participation in an online reality show about the travails of three young models? With denial. "This isn't a reality show," cries the trailer. Other shows are "just amateurs live" Vogue publisher Tom Florio told the Wall Streer Journal, while this one is co-produced by modeling agency IMG, which makes it totally legitimate. The show's tagline is more honest, but still rubbishes the rest of the genre: "Reality TV just got real." Well, at least someone has. Preview video after the jump.

When dreamboat CNN anchor Anderson Cooper found footage of an adorable younger bear for his show in April, he couldn't get enough of the "cute" and "cuddly" creature. But tonight, after AC360 co-host Erica Hill narrated footage of an older, larger bear, Cooper seemed to get a little grizzly, asking "What is with this program and bears?" Why, only your bread and butter and honey, Anderson! The bedrock of your credibility! What happened to being the "most trusted name in bears?" It's summertime, these guys will be out in force, and there's no going back now. Besides, Hill has a killer merchandising idea, click the thumbnail at left for details. It's only a few more months, that shouldn't be too much to b... well, ya, you get the idea.

When Barack Hussein Obama summers in his ancestral home of Iraq in a few weeks, along with some other foreign places, the trip will, of course, turn into an elite party for his showbiz friends, all of whom are clamoring for seats on his campaign plane. Katie Couric of the CBS Evening News is arranging an on-trip interview, as is Brian Williams of NBC Nightly News and Charles Gibson of ABC World News. Meet The Press wants to talk to Obama. "Star political reporters from the major newspapers and magazines" are also coming, the Times reports for Thursday's paper. So, why all the enthusiasm? John McCain's last big tour in the war zone was relegated to the evening news remainders bin. And the network newscasts have already given Obama 114 minutes of coverage since June, to McCain's 48, according to some study. The official reason: This is Obama's first overseas trip since becoming the presumptive Democratic nominee. The real reason? Let's ask some starfucking magazine editors!

That would bring the total, on paper at least, to $16 billion. Not a bad day for the mayor. [Business Sheet]

The Fox News Channel is now admitting that civil rights leader Jesse Jackson used the word "n—-er" in comments about Barack Obama in front of cameras in Fox News' Chicago bureau. Fox told AP tonight that Jackson said the Democratic presidential candidate was "talking down to black people ... telling n——rs how to behave" (that sentence fragment having first appeared on TVNewser earlier today). A Fox News Channel insider told Gawker nearly a week ago that Jackson had used the n-word, although it's not true, as we were told at the time, that the remarks were directed at Obama. Still, there's no small amount of hypocrisy at work on Jackson's part: He once called for a ban on any use of the slur. Fox's confirmation that Jackson used it himseld comes after Fox spent yesterday issuing carefully-calibrated denials about the incident.

Earlier today, the Atlanta Journal-Constitution announced that it's cutting almost 200 jobs-8% of its total workforce-due to "tough economic times." This afternoon, the Wall Street Journal sent out a staff memo saying that the paper is eliminating 50 editing jobs for "strategic" reasons. Less than an hour later, word came that Greg Osberg, president and publisher of Newsweek, is stepping down with no clear successor. (Newsweek editor Jon Meacham's crusade to appeal to the youth apparently hasn't taken effect quickly enough for Osberg, a digital advocate). This has been an extraordinarily bad day for print media by any standards. But take a look at the chart above-an illustration of newspaper industry stock prices over the past five years. There will be many more bad days to come.

Merrill Lynch, under financial pressure, is selling one of its more valuable assets, a 20 percent stake in Bloomberg, the financial-information business, for $4.5 billion to $5 billion. The sale marks the business's value at $22 billion to $25 billion — four times or more what Rupert Murdoch paid to tuck the Wall Street Journal's publisher, Dow Jones, a far more prestigious name in business news, into News Corp. Under Murdoch's ownership, Journal staffers are groaning about new expectations for productivity. Several highly paid, but not highly prolific, writers have been laid off, including George Anders, one of the biggest names in technology reporting. Join the club, Bloomberg writers would say; they are constantly measured, and perpetually disgruntled. What Bloomberg's high valuation tells us: Expectations of productivity in the news business are here to stay. Prestige and quality are well enough — but only if they make a noticeable difference. Being read matters just as much as being right.

Quelle horror! NYT restaurant critic Frank Bruni has a friend with an iPhone 3G—with its Urbanspoon application—and he's all ready to eat! Problem is, the restaurant-recommending app is proving to be spotty at best—like a bored, difficult concierge. What did it advise for our office's block—Elizabeth Street below Houston?