MSNBC's Rachel "Maddow tried to replace all the staffers who work on the 9 p.m. time slot, which she takes over on Monday, but management refused... 'She is Olbermann's protégé and is behaving like he does.'" [Post]

You'll no doubt recall how Wall Street Journal columnist Peggy Noonan yesterday inadvertently told MSNBC that Sarah Palin's nomination as the Republican vice presidential candidate was "political bullshit." What you may not appreciate is that poor Noonan was "mugged by the nature of modern media," just like Jesse Jackson when he appeared on Journal corporate sibling Fox News. To clear the air, Noonan told a story about how the selection of Palin this year is a lot like the selection of Dan Quayle to the ticket in 1988. That should settle everyone down! Take it away, Peggy:

Just as Sarah Palin was preparing to speak at the Republican convention in St. Paul (more on that momentarily), word bubbled up that the National Enquirer alleged in its print edition that John McCain's running mate had an affair with a business partner to her husband. With the sensational charge, the supermarket tabloid is gambling the measure of respect it has earned from more buttoned-down media in the wake of its reporting on John Edwards's affair with a campaign staffer, which was partially admitted to be true by Edwards himself. And early signs are that it may lose that gamble: The Enquirer issued a wishy-washy statement to the Huffington Post addressing its charges only in the context of other allegations, rather than backing them head-on:

Presumably, Reuters's coverage of the forthcoming Republican convention address by Sarah Palin is based on a pre-distributed written version of the speech, and that's why the report at left was posted at least an hour ago. But shouldn't the future tense be employed, or a disclaimer be included, given that the speech hasn't, you know, occurred yet? Wrote the newswire of John McCain's running mate: "Sarah Palin touted her small-town roots and swiped at Democrat Barack Obama during a highly anticipated speech to the Republican convention on Wednesday, ridiculing her critics as 'the Washington elite' who did not understand everyday life in America." Sounds like someone is angling for a job at Bloomberg! [Reuters]

Could the editors at the Los Angeles Times be any more useless? Their newspaper is going down in flames, with cash flow declines ranked worst among the deeply troubled Tribune Company newspapers. Their best hope for salvation is the Web, where the paper is desperately behind upstart competitors like Nikki Finke's Deadline Hollywood and the Huffington Post. Just last year the paper installed new publishing software that couldn't even handle hyperlinks. And yet newsroom "leaders" just spent 18 months in a fucking (ahem) committee debating what swears LATimes.com bloggers should be allowed to use, and when. The byzantine machinations involved some sort of appeal to a "ruling" of a special committee about some formal guidelines, and of course resulted in a tedious and useless memo that should make anyone who ever cared about the once-great newspaper want to slit his wrists. Its insufferable, self-indulgent stupidity lies after the jump. Oh, and it basically says no one can use "pissed off" because it's crude and might tarnish the LA Times's sterling image in the remaining months before the paper's now-all-but-inevitable collapse.

Here in the Bay Area, we have a skewed view of both who qualifies as a rich and what constitutes typical technology adoption. Households earning $100,000 a year or more account for 20 percent of the American population but earn 58 percent, or $4.6 billion, of aggregate household income. That's according to the latest release of the Mendelsohn Affluent survey from Ipsos. A new section of the study focuses on Internet browsing and buying activity. What does the data reveal?Almost every American in the upper income brackets uses a computer to access the Internet and has a cell phone or other mobile device. Among the six-figure income set, time spent on the Internet now leads all sectors of media consumption, including television. They spend over 23 hours online a week, with the wealthiest spending the most time online and watching the least television. Only 40 percent use a mobile device to access the Internet. The number goes up to 57 percent when you reach households earning over $250,000. On average, the wealthy connect to the Internet 26 times per week via a computer and nearly 18 times a week on a mobile device, making a total of around ten purchases a week online. What are they buying? Plane tickets, hotel reservations and event bookings, followed by women's wear, books and menswear. Only 10 percent of mobile Internet users make purchases with handhelds, mostly placing orders for takeout from restaurants. Email, maps, weather and news are the primary online activities, with Google topping the list of preferred search engines. Watching video, publishing online or reading RSS feeds aren't very popular, with only 12 percent watching television online and 9 percent keeping a blog. Nearly 30 percent, however, read a blog, and 72 percent share photos. So for advertisers and entrepreneurs looking to tap into a demographic with disposable income, you'd be correct in looking online instead of on television or radio. But instead of getting fancy with iPhone apps, try finding something real-world to sell them. (Image from Ipsos Mendelsohn)

"I mean, just, the conservative elites ... it's actually an intellectual blockage ... that keeps them from supporting this stuff." That is National Review editor Ramesh Ponnuru enlightening today's Observer as to why conservative lobbyists don't promote his "pro-growth pro-family" tax initiatives, but why don't we just get hacky and apply it to another sad development for thinking conservatives broken today by the Observer: the New York Sun, a conservative New York daily that secured its initial funding in 2001 from a hodgepodge of investors united most visibly by an abiding love for Israel, has announced it will close at the end of the month unless it secures new funding.Many things have changed since the Sun was founded: lead investor and Chicago Sun-Times owner Conrad Black went to jail, oil went above $100 a barrel, Israel went to war with Lebanon, Bill Buckley died and someone named "Julia Allison" gave birth to something called "microcelebrity," and the embarrassing unbridled jingoism unleashed by the events of September 11 greased the proverbial wheels of a prodigious bounty of lousy deals that would result mainly in death and disillusionment, the latter of which would eventually, mercifully, find itself directed at the Republican Party and the conservative movement that, in addition to God, granted it so much power. But here is what has not changed: conservatives do not really read, which is to say, of course conservatives read but not things that are like, long*, and those who do tend to compartmentalize the pastime as something rather far removed from their ideology, and if that's not the case, well, they would seem to be sufficiently alarmed by the defilement of their once-optimistic "movement" to be directing their information demands at suppliers of cruder, less ideologically-refined sources than the Sun. Of course, this is all blather and speculation; I am merely stating what I believe to be the nature of business conditions in the niche. But it is not just the Rupert Murdochs of the conservative media ideologically softening these days; the nuttycon Washington Times would seem to be on a bid to "mainstream" itself, while the talking heads and bloggingheads running such outlets as the National Review seem primarily to be brokering in new cute phrases: Sam's Club Republicans! The Sourpuss Vote! We've been Palinized! We think you'll agree, if there's anything the industry needs right now, it's de-Palinization.

The New York Post reports that local broadsheet the New York Sun is doomed. Their investors have lost money for more than 6 years on what was always basically a vanity paper for right-leaning ultra-hawkish pro-Israel New Yorkers, and they've given founder Seth Lipsky a month to line up new funders. The Sun will reportedly announce something—the end?—on their website in just a minute. Leaving aside their insane editorial page and wacky style guide, the Sun did have some of the best arts coverage of all the New York dailies and a good local section. (And, you know, Lenore Skenazy and John McWhorter.) So, like, sad. Right? Without a Murdoch or a Reverend Moon, it's almost like a hilariously right-wing daily can't make it in this crazy mixed-up world. Update: The statement.

At a party for former Republican devil Tom DeLay at the convention: "Asked his reaction to DeLay's appearance in Minneapolis, Cong. John Mica (R-FL) declined to answer and then head-butted the ABC camera." My hometown representative. [Watch it]

Lovable MSNBC blowhard Keith Olbermann was reportedly not thrilled about attending the Republican National Convention. Last week, Page Six claimed Keith wanted "a more secure location" before attending the proceedings, because, they giggled, he's afraid someone will assassinate him. Ha ha ha what a baby! When the RNC started, Keith was in New York still, covering Gustav, their main story all day Monday. That made sense. But Gustav passed and today it was made official: Keith won't be making it to St. Paul for any RNC coverage. Which, lucky him. Because we think what was meant by "a more secure location" was actually "a fucking indoor studio like Fox and CNN got." Because Denver coverage was marred not just by infighting and bitchery but also by idiot 9/11 truthers drowning out the hosts with bullhorns. Uninterrupted! For like an hour straight! It was embarrassing (and also hilarious). Honestly we would not put up with that shit again if we had Keith's authority at the station. Anyway. Keith Olbermann: coward! [The Cable Game]

Uh oh! Looks like it's time for another blind-item guessing game. Glamour's "Smitten" blog has a new "series of real women’s stories about their awkward sexual experiences." Um, sounds like a great book proposal for a new anthology! (Note to self: has this been done yet? Call agent.) Today, we learn about a "horribly awkward sexual experience" from a "hilarious 29-year-old editor in New York." So, uh, what happened? And more importantly, who is it?

Nude supermodel photo scandal lawsuit alert! An anonymous model has filed suit in Miami against Egotastic.com and Splash photo agency for taking pictures of her sunbathing in her birthday suit (NAKED) in her own backyard—"as is often done by professional models to avoid tan lines." Invasion of privacy and emotional distress! But who is this mysterious, super-beautiful plaintiff? She helpfully includes several clues [UPDATE: the case may already be cracked!]:

Governor Palin is greeting John McCain at the Minneapolis airport right now! Exciting! She's going to address the Republican National Convention tonight! This is great, because there was a small danger that Vinegar Joe Lieberman and the proper start of the RNC would quiet the nonstop over-the-top Palin coverage that's had the national press in a hilarious tizzy for a week. But this morning brought more front-page stories of McCain campaign incompetence and additional and more insane conspiracy theories, and with a speech from Palin tonight, we can guarantee that Palin coverage will continue unabated for the rest of the week. So what shall we expect from here? Some thoughts and predictions: Unless bloggers and enterprising commenters come up with actual evidence of weird natal misdeeds, their investigations will likely lead to just another MSM crisis about how the "bloggers" are devious and evil. Especially because the conspiracies are getting so dark. As far as we know, the story as it's currently postulated is that a) Palin covered up for her daughter Bristol's first pregnancy, and then Bristol either got knocked up again immediately afterwards or she's faking this pregnancy; or b) that Palin was indeed pregnant and her amniocentesis followed by her insane and inexplicable schedule the day of Trig's birth are proof that Palin was trying to cause a miscarriage. This is weird and horrible stuff and the very act of suggesting it will make respectable people queasy. But hey, it's out there! The "blog conspiracy theories", as cable people are surely already calling them, will make these responsible journalists (pls add own scare quotes) probably less likely to do their own digging into and speculating on the story of Baby Trig. Families: off-limits! (That reductive construction is a facile and childish simplification of issues that are newsworthy and even related to actual policy- and decision-making but whatever. The press doesn't want to look bad beating up supermom.) Soon the "the press is victimizing Sarah Palin" narrative will ramp up even further. Already poor Clarence Page got in trouble for calling Governor Palin a nice "young lady." That is mildly condescending, yes, but sexist? "Lady" is a bit old fashioned, maybe, but Lieberman just referred to the Democratic party nominee for president—a black man, btw—as "an eloquent and gifted young man" in a speech before the Republican National Convention on primetime television last night. And no one but TNR noticeed or cared. But this speech tonight! It was just explicitly spelled out on MSNBC: "the bar is not very high." Everyone will be pleasantly surprised at how well she does, how she's a breath of fresh air, how she is so much better than the terrible old white men of the Republican party. Unless she accidentally makes some huge factual fuck-up, like talking about that damned bridge to nowhere again. But they are probably being careful about that. The media has most likely dug up every salient detail there is to find about Troopergate and her early political career, and now it's up to Obama's people to exploit those, but where it may still get interesting is in the celebrity media. Specifically with Levi Johnston. The campaign will be dragging Levi to the RNC tonight, and presumably this shotgun wedding will go on as planned, but there are rumblings, already, that Levi is a brickheaded young thug who's maybe knocked up girls before, whose parents don't approve of this foolishness, and we've even heard that he had to dry out in rehab before the sham wedding could take place. So we rely on the Enquirer and, to a lesser extent, Us Weekly to pursue these stories. Because honestly the families that relate to a working mother dealing with her oldest daughter's understandable mistake will surely not relate to forcing that poor girl into marrying a local drunken hoodlum, as it is no longer 1910 or something. The McCain campaign knows—and indeed has explicitly stated—that they've been totally successful in making this campaign not about "issues" (even lazily defined "issues" like "the economy" and "Iraq") but about "character" which means personality and hagiography. Palin was the perfect pick in that sense, because she's aggressively blue-collar suburban normal, but she may soon become the sort of "normal" that people can't fucking stand—your uptight god-loving neighbor who makes you look bad but can't keep her own house in order. This, against the adorable nuclear Obama family, is not a good narrative for McCain.

Media types hung out at the defunct, apocalyptic bar Siberia because its Hell's Kitchen location was close to their offices—and also because it allowed them their "celebration of self-loathing." Now where will owner Tracy Westmoreland re-open? Maybe Crown Heights, he tells the Observer. “Let’s say it’s a voodoo bar. … I’ll have guys coming in saying, ‘Hey man, I’ve got this shrunken head.’” [Observer]

Last year, Time Out New York had aspirations of building up its online event listings into a sort of Craigslist of North American listings. The magazine invested in its website in pursuit of this, but the project never completely panned out. But according to some tipsters, that might just be the start of TONY's problems. Could the stalwart around-town manual be in (*dramatic pause*) life-threatening financial trouble? The rumor's not a complete surprise—we were reporting last year that some freelancers were having trouble getting paid by TONY. Our tipsters, though, say that's just a symptom of more serious money problems for publisher Allison Tocci and company:

Finally, a place where Hollywood conservatives can have their say. Andrew Breitbart, the friendly half of the Drudge Report link machine, is about to launch what we can only describe as "Sort of the conservative mirror of the original idea for Huffington Post, the one what was quickly abandoned." His new venture will supposedly become a destination site for Hollywood conservatives (like Jean-Claude Van Damme!) to speak out, and have their musing published on the World Wide Web. And, you know, good luck with that. But why does anybody care? Who is this awesomely powerful (but liked!) online agenda-setter? It's not like the man has to start something new. His own news site, Breitbart.com, does huge traffic because it's where all of Drudge's wire report items link to. He also has a video site, and he worked on the launch of the now-successful Huffington Post (though he's since divested—he's a true conservative believer). Breitbart works the afternoon shift at the Drudge Report. The two have remarkably seamless editorial styles, though some feel Breitbart has a lighter touch. More importantly, while Matt Drudge himself rarely speaks to the press or flits about in public settings, Breitbart is actually popular, and even a bit of a real-life schmoozer:

Griff Jenkins is the new quirky young media figure to be celebrated. Everybody rally for him now! He's pretty young, he wears sort of hipster-ish black frame glasses, and he's not afraid to take on quirky assignments like reporting live wearing only a Speedo (LOL), or inciting riots. The only thing is he works for Fox News. But he's totally not that kind of Fox News guy! When all the famous TV personalities rushed down South to cover Hurrican Gustav, who was left to cover the anarchist protests at the Republican convention? Our friend Griff! And you can't say he didn't do it quirkily:

Liberal peacenik Barack Obama's top secret sit-down meeting with Fox News ahead of the election was revealed in Vanity Fair this week by Michael Wolff, Rupert Murdoch's chosen biographer. So Fox News overlord Roger Ailes decided to go on the record today about all the various machinations at the shadowy back room confab. Did Ailes really have a "cordial" conversation with Obama, as he claims? Or was it actually a "frank discussion," as Obama's people claim? Read the tea leaves before Barack appears on Bill O'Reilly's show tomorrow: The time: three months ago. The place: some hotel room. The players: Obama, his advisers, Ailes, and Rupert Murdoch. Obama's angle: You people at Fox News aren't being fair:

"Unless I’m misunderstanding something, I don’t know why, after the job Jay has done for them, why they would relinquish that... I guess empathy is the right word." [Times]

Us Weekly released its much-anticipated Sarah Palin issue, resurfacing in it a January incident in which the John McCain running mate laughed along with a shock jock who called her Republican rival a "bitch" and a "cancer" on the state. Us got fresh quotes from the woman in question, a cancer survivor who is still quite pissed about the incident despite a halfhearted apology from Palin. The celebrity weekly also questioned whether the father of Palin's forthcoming granddaughter really wants to have kids. As right-wing bloggers are bitterly noting, the coverage scandalizes John McCain's running mate before the magazine's 12 million readers, mostly the very females Palin was recruited to attract. It's not lost on any of them, either, that Us Weekly owner Jann Wenner is a big Barack Obama supporter. With coverage of Palin's various scandals — the love child, the radio thing, troopergate, etc. etc. — still everywhere, Palin's role in the campaign is being severely restricted, the Wall Street Journal reports in a page-one story today: