Media minutiae feud alert! The combatants: Selena Roberts, former star NYT sports reporter now at Sports Illustrated; and her former paper. Did the Times try, and fail, to take her down, journalistically? Details! [UPDATED]:

• Portfolio isn't over and done with, after all: An affiliate of Condé Nast—based in Charlotte, weirdly—plans to revive the magazine's website. [NYO]
• Josh Marshall has accepted Maureen Dowd's apology for swiping some of his copy; and Dowd's new column today is Marshall-free, thankfully. [TPM, NYT]
• Upfronts 2009: What the CW and CBS have in store for the fall. [THR, THR]
• Is Jann Wenner looking to poach Condé Nast honcho David Carey? [NYM]
• Times executive editor Bill Keller says Google is the paper's "frenemy." [NYO]
• CNBC's Jeff Macke had a meltdown on the air yesterday. [Gawker]

Heir to the NYT throne and lowly metro reporter A.G. Sulzberger heard someone say: "This is the Cage. You have to seriously be a baller to come here." A.G. Sulzberger is one such baller!

Conde Nast sunk $100 million into Portfolio before it folded last month. Why let all that brand value go to waste? Why not move the whole operation down South, for maximum fall-from-grace effect [UPDATED below]?

Abduwali Abdukhadir Muse, the surviving teenage Somali pirate, was back in court yesterday, making the best of his unplanned NYC visit. So far his main contribution has been to stimulate New York Post headline writers:

On Sunday Maureen Dowd lifted a passage from a blog post by TPM's Josh Marshall and used it in her Times column without attribution, something she claimed was accidental. Finally, Marshall has addressed the matter.

In your total ripoff Tuesday media column: the worst media internship offer in at least a couple days, flackery invades the media (moreso), and a J-school student would rather not help solve a murder:

• How are things going at the Cannes Film Festival? It depends on who you talk to. The Journal says it's been "conspicuously less frenzied" and business has been "slow." The Hollywood Reporter says it's beating expectations and "doomsayers" have been "proven wrong." Take your pick. [WSJ, THR]
• NBC is dropping Medium and My Name Is Earl for the fall, but bringing back Chuck. It's also renewed Law & Order for a 20th season. [NYT, AP, NYT]
• What can you expect on ABC this fall? More Dancing With the Stars. [THR]
• CBS is ditching Without A Trace, but has renewed Numb3rs. [EW]
• Time Warner Cable is dropping HDNet and HDNet Movies as May 31. [MC]

How bad is it out there? So bad that innocent citizens are being assaulted in fawncy downtown NYC much more than they were last year! Panic! How bad is it really? It's not that bad:

After 47 million years, scientists unearthed a fossil which may be the long-awaited missing link between primates and mankind. They immediately turned the fossil into a huge media whore that we're already sick of.

Here's something unexpected: angry insiders tipping us off about OK! Magazine's management shuffle! Jason Oliver Nixon is now running things, they say:

Lord knows that the USA is in trouble, now that we're forced to make this sad announcement: Trump Magazine has folded. But...but Donald's so rich!

In March we told you about "Invoiceworks," Viacom's Kafkaesque new system for paying (or not!) its freelancers. How bad is it? We present to you, "22 Invoice Rejections at Once":

In your job-searching Monday media column: Looking for work: college professors, Harvard Crimson editors, ombudsmen everywhere. Finding work: portly gossipmongers. All's well!

Celebrity spawn news! New York magazine has used a fair and impartial process to hire new interns, and one of them happens to be Steven Spielberg's son! Allow him to introduce himself [UPDATED below]:

• Monthly mags continue to suffer: Ad pages have dropped by 23 percent on average, although the situation is particularly dire at Condé Nast. [NYP]
• Maureen Dowd landed in a bit of hot water after it was revealed she'd "borrowed" from blogger Josh Marshall for her op-ed column yesterday. She's since offered a (dubious) explanation and apology. [E&P, HP, Politico]
• Television networks start selling ads for the fall season today as part of upfront week, although the economy is putting a damper on things. [NYT]
• Despite few successes and many failures, NBC golden boy Ben Silverman still has a job. For how much longer, though, is anybody's guess. [NYT]
• Angels & Demons was No. 1 at the box office with a $48 million haul. [WSJ]
• If you can't find Newsweek on newsstands, that may be because the magazine has totally redesigned itself. [Newsweek, WaPo, HuffPo]

For magazines, the first quarter of this year was hell. Particularly for Conde Nast. Now, ad sales figures for the first half are out. They're hell. Particularly for Conde Nast!

Maureen Dowd will get off penalty-free for (she says) accidentally plagiarizing a paragraph of Josh Marshall's material. Fine by us! Can the New York Times stop pretending the internet is ripping it off, now?

Last week we identified Luisa from Rio as the probable lucky future journalist who's the $13,000 high bidder on a (priceless) Huffington Post internship in a charity auction. Then she emailed us! Meet her:

In February, the New York Times reported that Newsweek would soon be unveiling a design specifically intended to "appeal to its best-educated, most avid consumers of news." That new design is being unveiled today.