Journalists are often accused of being spies. Military sources now say that one, currently working in a war zone, is in fact a real-life secret agent.

The setup: Fox Anchor Gregg Jarret's talking at Democratic New Jersey Rep. Rob Andrews about constitutional powers and requirements for insurance. It slides into debating the Framers' intent. Andrews invokes Fox's "Fair and Balanced" line, and Jarret gets huffy.

Heh is the overwhelming sentiment one can read every time the Times gets cocky. And by cocky, I mean: talking about penises. In this instance, it's talking about one of the oldest, most famous media penises still alive: Hugh Hefner's.

ABC's Nightline ran a special on Scientology this weekend. It was typically strange and disconcerting, but nothing necessarily new. Except: What could provoke their spokesman to storm off the set of an interview? We get to learn. Paging Lord Xenu.

Remember Portfolio? The nearly stillborn Conde publication's fallen editor Joanne Lipman's back, with an editorial for Sunday's Times entitled "The Mismeasure Of Woman," where she argues that feminism's stalled out. Great, except: it's inaccurate, intellectually offensive, and gratingly pompous.

We got word that there were even more layoffs than previously reported at Conde Nast this week. As it turns out, the sharp scythe of McKinsey cut into Women's Wear Daily.

• The job cuts at Condé Nast continue. (Apparently laying off everyone at once would have just been too easy.) Yesterday it lowered the boom at Vanity Fair and GQ, although VF editor Graydon Carter managed to shield his eyes from carnage since he'd jetted off on vacation earlier that morning. [NYP, WWD]
• News Corp. appears to be the front-runner to buy the Travel Channel. [NYT]
• NBC has picked up Community, Parks and Recreation, and Mercy for the full season. It's also signed Adam Carolla and Don Cheadle to each do a show.
• Last night's premiere of The Jeff Dunham Show set a new record for Comedy Central, which, if you've seen Dunham, is a sad statement indeed. [Wrap]
• Silliest rumor of the day: Politico reported this morning that friends were urging Fox News chief Roger Ailes to run for president in 2012. But that's not going to happen, of course, so a few hours later Politico posted Ailes' denial.
• The first official portrait of the Obamas was taken by Annie Leibovitz. [VF]
• A few early predictions for Best Picture, if you're interested. [LAT]

A tipster tells us Maxim fired three people in the art and photo departments today.

Look at that, a "reporter" for a "legitimate news organization" is co-hosting a "day of health care events" sponsored by a conservative advocacy group! His name is John Stossel and as of last month he works for Fox News.

In your foreboding Friday media column: Rumors of impending Forbes layoffs, more details on the Conde Nast Traveler cuts this week, an editor quits over her commute(!), and a former AP newsman kills himself.

Amid all of the carnage at Conde Nast this month, rumors were floating that Si Newhouse was sheltering his three most precious magazines: the New Yorker, Vogue, and Vanity Fair. Well; the part about Vanity Fair, at least, was wrong.

As soon as New York magazine owner Bruce Wasserstein died last week, speculation about the magazine's future began. Would the Wasserstein family really want to hang on to a money-losing prestige title? Yes, apparently.

• The New York Times Co. reported a $35.6 million loss for the third quarter as ad revenue plunged 30 percent. But it was better than what Wall Street analysts were predicting, so the stock shot up 22 percent today. [NYT]
• New York magazine's chief says there are no plans to sell the magazine following last week's death of owner Bruce Wasserstein. [AdAge]
• Newsday plans to charge $5 a week to access to its website. [NYT, [E&P]
• Fortune is cutting back on the number of issues it publishes. And Time Inc., Fortune's publisher, is planning another round of job cuts. [WSJ]
• On the same day Sarah Palin's memoir is published, the Nation will release Going Rouge, an identical-looking book that mocks the ex-governor. [Politico]
• As if losing billions of family money wasn't enough of a punishment, France says it plans to put Warner Music chief Edgar Bronfman Jr. on trial for insider trading in connection with the 2000 merger of Vivendi and Seagram. [NYP]

In your extra-good Thursday media column: We get results for aggrieved media employees, a scandalous media blind item for you to examine, a Texas paper loves LSD, and Chuck Todd is the new Samson.

The Chicago Tribune is a terrible newspaper that was driven into bankruptcy by timid bureaucrats posing as editors. So who is the New York Times hiring to launch its new Chicago edition? The same people that ruined the Trib.

Here is the internal New York Times memo that followed the company's release of their third quarter financial results.

AOL CEO Tim Armstrong and Time Inc. CEO Ann Moore met recently.

Great news: The New York Times Co. lost more than $35 million in the third quarter! They've decided that "selling ads" is the way of the past.

Everybody's having fun with Robert Mormando, the gay mafia hitman the world learned about today. It's like The Sopranos! Except he only meant to come out in front of the judge, not a bunch of newspaper reporters.

• Both Google and Facebook are getting into the music biz, apparently. [NYT]
• ESPN's Steve Phillips has a pretty messy sex scandal on his hands. [NYP]
• Condé Nast's latest effort to branch out: It's starting discount travel site called Jetsetter in partnership with Gilt Groupe. Meanwhile, this week's Observer recaps Condé's recent problems and reflects on the good 'ol days. [NYT, NYO]
• People's decision to pay big bucks for exclusive pics of kidnapee Jaycee Dugard sure paid off. The issue sold 2 million copies last week. [WWD]
• Who will be the next editor of BusinessWeek? Jon Friedman thinks former Portfolio editor Joanne Lipman would be a "fine choice." And she may be, provided Bloomberg is looking to destroy what's left of the magazine. [MW]
• Michael Steele is now (officially) Us Weekly's editor-in-chief. [NYT]
• How many people despise cable news clown Glenn Beck? Enough that the network has hired a bodyguard to follow him everywhere he goes. [P6]
• Yet another book "by" Michael Jackson may be coming soon. Super! [Crain's]