D-Day is here for ABC News. ("D" is for "Damn, they're taking my job.") The company is reportedly seeking three to four hundred buyouts, which would amount to about a quarter of its workforce. We'll update below with details.

Bad news, Wobblies: famous angry person Andrew Breitbart has announced that "within the next three weeks" he will personally "[take] down "the institutional left."

Anyone noticed we haven't heard as much about Haiti lately? A Nexis search shows us that US newspapers and wires have run 30% fewer "Haiti Earthquake" stories this week than last week. What could be replacing Haiti in the news?

Up to 300 buyouts are reportedly coming to ABC News tomorrow. Know more? Email us.

Condé Nast's Self magazine made our list of "Print's Ten Worst Late Payment Offenders" last year for stiffing a freelancer for 300 days. Which is about 40 more days than Condé Nast will wait for payment before it sues you.

In your value-added Tuesday media column: The Onion shuts down a section, SmartMoney may be taken over by Dow Jones, an n+1 guy gets a book deal, and Magic Johnson's still not a media mogul.

Washington City Paper editor Erik Wemple is getting out while the getting's good (well, at least good enough), leaving for a job with Allbritton's new DC local new site/ Politico cousin. Unsurprising, since he was recently live-blogging his own pay cut. We'll miss his headlines. [WCP]

Rolling Stone, the 40-year-old music/culture magazine, doesn't have a website anymore. Jann Wenner must've let the domain expire while he was shredding all those Monkees Hall of Fame ballots. (Now we'll never know who the 14th-best guitarist ever was!) [Via]

In your fill-in Monday media column, journalistic panhandling fails, dick jokes meet the holy land and Anna Wintour gets the recognition she's been waiting so long for.

Letters to the Editor: they're fun. But the New York Observer doesn't run many of them online! If they did, people would know how unhappy Mos Def is with the New York Observer. But the voice of the people...

In your flippant Friday media column: Americans don't know who to trust, a money man gives up on the NYT, Conde Nast is spying on you, and Chris Dovi really got screwed.

And what are the crazed antisemitic conspiracists of the John Birch Society up to at CPAC? Oh, just hanging out with Rachel Maddow, chatting about fluoridation of our water supply. No biggie. Click for video.

Sally Quinn has a Washington Post column because she's married to former WaPo editor Ben Bradlee. Today: she apologetically explains, at length, the circumstances that led to two of her family members scheduling weddings the same day. REAL JOURNALISM, RECOGNIZE.

The following news outlets will be carrying the Tiger Woods press conference today: All.

Remember when Barack Obama caved in to the demands of the White House press corps and held a press conference earlier this month? That was just part of his pernicious plan to hide from the public. Don't trust him!

In your thawing Thursday media column: the PR industry blows a chance to look good, a Nick Kristof documentary, a wedding fight, and NBC declares war on the Lo Lifes.

The New York Post may think Mort Zuckerman would make the swell Senate candidate, but Post media columnist Keith Kelly is still reporting on how the stingy Daily News publisher is eliminating 401(k) matching and slashing executive salaries.

In your completely literal Wednesday media column: unsurprising insight into consumer preferences, ABC executives support ABC employee, Charlie Gasparino gets a new job, and Reader's Digest and Playboy have problems.

Zachery Kouwe—the New York Times business reporter caught plagiarizing portions of stories from other news outlets and press releases—resigned yesterday. Nobody was more surprised that Zachery Kouwe plagiarized (at least) a half-dozen times than Zachery Kouwe himself.