In your dark Tuesday media column: the layoff train is rollin' down the tracks that many magazines now regret installing in their offices, the San Francisco Chronicle flounders like a flounder, Wonkette hates Politico anew, and John Stossel vs. Lou Dobbs.

In your manly Monday media column: BusinessWeek's actual sale price revealed, America's most fucked newspapers revealed, Gene Weingarten revealed to still be (reasonably) funny, and a job revealed at Conde Nast! Oh, too late.

In your foreboding Friday media column: Rumors of impending Forbes layoffs, more details on the Conde Nast Traveler cuts this week, an editor quits over her commute(!), and a former AP newsman kills himself.

In your extra-good Thursday media column: We get results for aggrieved media employees, a scandalous media blind item for you to examine, a Texas paper loves LSD, and Chuck Todd is the new Samson.

In your woebegone Wednesday media column: Rumors of more Conde Nast layoffs at Architectural Digest and the research department, ideas for BusinessWeek's future, Ross Douthat is insecure, and the Weather Channel grows ever more awesome.

In your dangerous Tuesday media column: A media employee cries for help from the office bathroom, more details on yesterday's Glamour layoffs, a dangerous liberal media pumpkin, and a newspaper gets cheaper, on purpose.

In your malicious Monday media column: computers replace sportswriters (finally), rumored layoffs at W mag and Lucky, a new way for death to save the media, and the salvation of publishing arrives.

In your downright fraudulent Friday media column: A fakester is claiming to work for W, Forbes is losing a top editor and National Lampoon will help your weekend arrive sooner.

In your retro Thursday media column: Vice is having a Halloween party, laid-off journalists get an award, 'Netflix for magazines' is doomed to fail, and the Wall Street Journal is finally as prestigious as USA Today.

In your overstuffed Wednesday media column: a PR man cheers Bloomberg's latest purchase, Calvin Trillin says crotchety things, the New Yorker hires(!) somebody, Brides loses advertisers, and the Washington Post poaches from HuffPo, for a change.

In your tendentious Tuesday media column: Internet commenters will never be defeated, Pinch Sulzberger is brave, more buyouts at the Star-Ledger, and journalism in China is no easy-peasy thing, we'll tell ya.

In your papery Monday media column: the ferocious war of words for newspaper supremacy, another theory about Gourmet's death, the sensible end of newspaper endorsements, and a cool new newspaper hero!

In your finally Friday media column: a sunny theory about Conde Nast, Katie Couric's words of wisdom, George Will learns exactly where to go, and the AP's crazy scheme, for money.

In your thrashed Thursday media column: More Conde layoff rumors, Martha Stewart's evil company gets sued, media hair racism persists, and Choire Sicha declaims on the current technomedia foofaraw.

In your crushing Wednesday media column: another media bankruptcy, the Businessweek sale draws nearer, Paula Froelich occupies her time, and the magazine industry has an idea!

In your controversial Tuesday media column: A magazine tries to claim NYC as its own, Details loses a publisher, Nancy Grace is the next Judge Judy, and Madonna wants to suck a newspaper's life blood (money).

In your deathly Monday media column: More details on today's Conde Nast purge, point-counterpoint on Tribune Co's criminal management, an online news operation folds, and a journalist is killed.

In your friendly Friday media column: the NYT's standards editor retires, a Russian journokabob scandal, Time Warner really loves this "magazine" business, and the magazine industry has big plans, sure.

In your conspiratorial Thursday media column: The New Yorker hates Brazil, Laurel Touby bids you farewell, Pinch Sulzberger ups his humor quotient, and sexism exists.

In your maudlin Wednesday media column: rumors of Reader's Digest layoffs [Update: And RD's response], a guarantee of Conde Nast layoffs, and the debate over the newspaper industry is one-sided, to be honest.