How many ways can Brian Williams sidestep admitting he made up a bunch of stories to look cool? Quite a few, it turns out.

An Air National Guard A-10 attack aircraft inadvertently dropped a 25-pound (dummy) training bomb around the Arkansas River last month, officials revealed. But hey, far worse things have been dropped around the Arkansas River lately.

Exodus International, the world's oldest and largest "ex-gay" Christian ministry announced late yesterday that it would be shutting down for good after nearly 40 year of claiming to have a cure for homosexuality.

After initially announcing that he'd attack her again if he had the chance, angry drunk Stephen Hanks has apologized for telling Bristol Palin that her mother is a "whore" and "white trash." His lawyer released a statement to E! News:

Visiting the Hollywood Scientology Celebrity Center, J.D. Shapiro just wanted to meet girls. Instead, he wound up writing Battlefield Earth. After winning the "Worst Picture of the Decade" Razzie, Shapiro is apologizing. He blames it all on his penis.

NY Sen. Chuck Schumer "regrets" and "has apologized" for snapping at a flight attendant who dared tell him to hang up on Harry Reid (while sitting next to Kirsten Gillibrand) because the plane was about to take off. [NYDN]

[Via Business Insider.]

Letterman apologizes to wife on tonight's broadcast: "I have a lot of work to do."

Why, we wondered, is everything so damn slow out on the town? Besides the usual pre-Labor Day vacation whatnots, of course. Page Six clears it up: Nobody's here!