Last year, we brought you the news of Williamsburg's hipster doctor, Jay Parkinson of Hello Health, who will diagnose you via the IM if necessary. Well, not really, that's just how you contact him—"by phone, e-mail, text, IM, or video chat." We're so glad we were able to be servicey: our favorite dating columnist/punching bag Julia Allison, who still hasn't applied for insurance yet, got an eye infection and ran straight to McDreamy:It was dutifully lifecasted.

Sometimes we don't understand what Michael Moore is so hot under the collar about. Yeah, sure, it sucks that so many young Americans are uninsured. But the upside of this sad trend is that there are now niche doctors who specialize in treating uninsured 18-34 year olds, and often they have overdesigned websites and blogs! At least, they do if they live in Williamsburg—like Jay Parkinson, M.D.

• Tara Reid tells Us Weekly that her first round of implants was a "horrible plastic surgery that left [her] scarred." Having seen the evidence, we're going to take that literally. She also says that she's partied hard and her "body is tired." Having seen the evidence, we're going to take that literally as well. [Us Weekly]
• After getting decked by Travis Barker's ex, Paris Hilton ends their relationship. Pity. We really thought this one was going to last. [Scoop]
• OMG, Dr. Preston attacked McDreamy?! For our penis-bearing readers, that means that two actors got into a physical fight on the set of Grey's Anatomy. [R&M]
• Not even Viagra can help Hugh Hefner now. [Page Six]