New York Mayor Michael Bloomberg tells Katie Couric that he's "not going to run for president," and there's "nothing" that could make him. "Period. End of story." That's pretty definitive, so... the media will have to keep asking him!

For about the last five years, numerous pundits have called for an independent presidential bid from NYC Mayor Michael Bloomberg, perhaps with television's Joe Scarborough as a running mate. They would break through gridlock, somehow! Unfortunately, Bloomberg is terribly unpopular.

Rob Halpin, the businessman who rented ex-White House chief of staff Rahm Emanuel's Chicago home and wouldn't leave when Emanuel returned from Washington, is now considering running against Emanuel for Chicago mayor. Is "Rob Halpin" just an elaborate trolling scheme?

New York's tyrannical mayor Michael Bloomberg, after winning his third term, now strongly supports an NYC ballot measure to restore the two-term limit. The explanation: "A spokesman says Bloomberg only supported three terms for himself, because the situation was extraordinary."

Rahm Emanuel, who was the second most powerful person in Washington just a few days ago, is now merely harassing commuters on Chicago subway platforms to kick off his mayoral campaign. Watch as the commuters react with indifference, mostly!

Rahm Emanuel resigned as White House chief of staff today to run for mayor of Chicago. For someone with such a hardened, Machiavellian reputation, his farewell speech — during which he choked up — was surprisingly eloquent. Where's the rage?

NYC's mayor-of-the-people Michael Bloomberg only owns two pairs of work shoes. They're very expensive, though.

The filing deadline for Chicago's 2011 mayor's race is November 22, with a Democratic primary in February. Not far away! So White House chief-of-staff Rahm Emanuel, should he run, would have to leave "relatively soon" — before the midterms, probably.

White House chief of staff Rahm Emanuel is already polling Chicago about a mayoral run.

Chicago mayor Richard M. Daley announced today that he won't seek another term for the office he's held since 1989. How modest! So: Will Rahm Emanuel leave the White House to run for this vacant office in 2011? Probably.

Page Six hears that Barack Obama may be courting Michael Bloomberg for Treasury secretary. Well, they did go golfing recently. But it's hard to picture Bloomberg leaving his NYC mayor job, considering how much he paid for it. [Image: AP]

If you're running for mayor of a small Alabama town, the clearest path to victory is simply making up an endorsement from the Alabama football coach. But don't get caught, like Dorothy Davidson's campaign did! That ruins the whole plan.

Jón Gnarr, the radio host, philosopher and Mayor of Reykjavík, would like to welcome you to his city. And he would like to do so by considering the nature of existence, and the question of "elves and trolls."

Hero Milwaukee mayor Tom Barrett, who bravely took a beating from a violent thug after intervening to help an innocent citizen, is speaking, humbly! He says everyone would have done what he did. Go on you, tell us another one!

Milwaukee mayor Tom Barrett was beaten with a metal pipe by a crazed thug at the Wisconsin State Fair Saturday. Is mayor-beating a new political trend, and is Tom Barrett now probably mayor-for-life? The answers are yes and hell yes.

All the smart/ cowardly politicians bailed on the NYC mayor's race when Mike Bloomberg strongarmed himself back onto the ballot. But there is still a handful of comical challengers to our Mayor-for-life! Below, a guide to the losers.