The scariest woman in New York, Jocelyne Wildenstein, turns 69 today. Let's hope she doesn't mark the occasion by paying another visit to her plastic surgeon. Retired astronaut Neil Armstrong is turning 79 today. Retired basketball player Patrick Ewing turns 47. DJ Funkmaster Flex is 41. Actress Loni Anderson is turning 63. High-end Manhattan real estate broker Edward Lee Cave is 70. Adam Yauch, one of the founding members of The Beastie Boys, is turning 44. The Brady Bunch's Maureen McCormick is 53. And Dawn Richard of Danity Kane celebrates her 26th birthday today.

Once again Howard Stern is fulfilling his mission of delving deeply into the sex lives of our childhood-and more recent-crushes. On the hot seat for tonight's installment of Stern's On Demand show is none other than Marsha Brady, nee Maureen McCormick. As one of the top five teen idols of the late 60's and early 70's, there is one crucial thing the world needs to know about McCormick: Has she had anal? She has! But does she like it? Folks on both sides of the issue are going to have to rework their Marsha Brady fantasies. Clip after the jump. Click to view Also? 34 years after The Brady Bunch went off the air and she is still so amazingly hot! And that's not just nostalgia talking.

Remember sweet, innocent Marcia Brady? If you do, you probably haven't been paying attention this week, as her portrayer, Maureen McCormick, has undertaken a press tour meant to despoil her clean-cut image once and for all. First, McCormick regaled a horrified Today audience with tales of congenital syphilis, then she took to The Morning Show with Mike & Juliet to reveal her coked-out near-miss with the Indiana Jones franchise. Now, McCormick has taped an appearance on Howard Stern's Howard TV set to air later tonight, and in the clip excerpted after the jump, she discusses her painful anal sex experiences and a drugged, aborted date with Steve Martin. Somewhere, a horrified Carol Brady is shaking her stylish flip. Enjoy!Click to view

After traumatizing the Today audience yesterday with her delightful tale of family syphilis, former Brady Bunch star Maureen McCormick took her unsettling book tour to The Morning Show with Mike & Juliet, where she opened up about cocaine ("They would call me 'The Hoover' because of how much cocaine I would do") and family planning ("I was 18, 19 and 20 when I had each abortion"), then recounted a brand-new story about hitting rock bottom that was markedly different than the one she told Meredith Vieira on Tuesday. This one, you see, involved Indiana Jones:

♦ Is Lauren Bush supporting Barack Obama? Maybe. The niece of the president praised the Democratic nominee in a recent interview and she decided against using her family name for her new clothing line, Lauren Pierce, taking her grandmother's maiden name instead. [P6]
♦ Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson are either engaged or splitting up, depending on what you read. [Daily Mail, MSN]
♦ Marc Jacobs is supposedly jealous that his ex, Jason Preston, is dating someone else, even though he has a new boyfriend of his own, too. [P6]
♦ He can't afford a plane, but Diddy did get to upgrade to a new Rolls-Royce last week. [P6]
♦ In a new memoir, Maureen McCormick (Marcia Brady from The Brady Bunch) says she used to trade sex for coke. [NYDN]

"Maureen McCormick's sensational claim that she had a lesbian fling with Eve Plumb during their years as sisters Marcia and Jan Brady on "The Brady Bunch" couldn't have come at a better time for blond porn cutie Hillary Scott," asserts Page Six today in a press release-scented plug for that porn star's latest project. Fine! Except? "The book's publisher, HarperCollins imprint William Morrow, denies that McCormick will reveal an affair with Plumb," CBS reported last Tuesday. Gawk at that baloney.