Fox News CEO Roger Ailes, who is currently facing numerous accusations of sexual harassment by a growing number of current and former employees, is reportedly—reportedly!—departing the channel, which he founded in October 1996 and has helmed for the past 19 years. This morning, Gabriel Sherman of New York magazine reported that Fox News’ star anchor, Megyn Kelly, had told investigators hired by 21st Century Fox that her boss had sexually harassed her approximately ten years ago, when she still worked at Fox. In the same piece, Sherman claimed that attorneys for 21st Century Fox had given Ailes an ultimatum: “Resign or face being fired for cause” by August 1 of this year.

Glenn Beck’s The Blaze has the exclusive story of how its own founder no longer thinks Matt Drudge is a cool guy, possibly because Matt Drudge has been spending too much time around Alex Jones. The Drudge-Jones alliance, Beck said, may explain negative coverage of Marco Rubio on The Drudge Report.

As Hillary Clinton’s path to the nomination becomes clearer, our favorite right-wingers have doubled down on the conspiracy theory that she has been—secretly—in exceedingly poor health since she suffered a concussion in 2012. What exactly wrong with her? You would not believe how many things.

Have you been paying attention to the latest Matt Drudge-powered anti-Hillary Clinton conspiracy theory festering in the most absurd pocket of the right-wing internet? I hope not! Assuming you haven’t here is some context for the above image:

Earlier this month, Matt Drudge stepped out of his link-dump comfort zone to deliver a breathless, exclusive scoop: Leonardo DiCaprio is raped by a bear in his new film The Revenant. The story spread so quickly that a spokesperson for 20th Century Fox had to tell Entertainment Weekly that “there is clearly no rape scene with a bear.”

Donald Trump’s most important purely political skill (that is, one not directly related to his abilities as an entertainer and performer) is his ability to intuit what the great angry mass of movement conservatives wish their gutless leaders would say, and then say it. Other Republicans dogwhistle. Trump dispenses with coded language and simply says: We should deport all the illegals. We should ban all Muslim immigration. And now, on Vladimir Putin: “He’s running his country and at least he’s a leader, unlike what we have in this country.”

Earlier today, the reclusive online aggregator Matt Drudge reported that the upcoming thriller The Revenant contains a scene in which the actor Leonardo DiCaprio, playing the 19th-century American fur trapper Hugh Glass, is brutally raped by a forest-dwelling bear:

When Matt Drudge wasn’t writing up ALL-CAPS HEADLINES over the past year about Hillary Clinton, Trayvon Martin, Quentin Tarantino, and the “knockout game,” the notoriously peripatetic ur-blogger began occasionally documenting his whereabouts on Twitter—a bold decision for the famously reclusive Miamian.

Apocalyptic aggregation pioneer Matt Drudge is recording his impressions of the season, via Twitter, like this:

The latest victim of fake news source The Daily Currant: Matt Drudge, who (like the idiots at Zero Hedge last night) was taken in by this bafflingly unfunny story about Mike Bloomberg being denied a slice of pizza at a restaurant.

"1 IN 10 YALE STUDENTS SAY THEY'VE BEEN PAID FOR SEX..." tweeted internet behemoth Matt Drudge just a minute ago. Yikes! Drudge, who is commonly understood to be gay, links out to a report on the blog of anti-Yale crusader Nathan Harden, who looks more or less exactly the way you'd expect a guy obsessed with the amount of sex on the Yale campus to look.

Matt Drudge, the Offer Nissim superfan who runs the link aggregator of record for black-on-white crime and Michelle Obama's eating habits, is in Washington, D.C., today, for some reason, where he is observing the weather:

If you aren't naturally attuned to the frequency at which internet conservatives are currently shaking with rage, you might've been surprised when you visited right-wing aggregation site the Drudge Report this morning and were confronted with the following headline, in 40-point type: "'N*GGER. N*GGER. N*GGER. N*GGER. N*GGER. N*GGER. N*GGER.'" Clicking on the headline wouldn't satisfy your confusion: it linked to The Hollywood Reporter's review of Quentin Tarantino's new slave-revenge movie Django Unchained — a review that barely touches on the word's use in the movie. It's just a review.

Exit polls are out! Exit polls are meaningless and often wrong! But Matt Drudge has posted them, and amended them, and rejiggered them, to make things look better for Mitt Romney. Because they don't look good for Mitt Romney. In fact, they look like he lost.

Drudge is breathless about the exit polls rolling in. He says Obama is up in Ohio and Virginia is a "toss up."

Is conservative web-linker and race hustler Matt Drudge stalking an Israeli house DJ on Twitter? This is probably not a question you thought you would be asking yourself on a Tuesday morning. And yet: the internet has a funny way of asking questions for you.

Matt Drudge—who can usually be found boasting about all his mouth-breathing readers—has been taking umbrage today at the revelation that Department of Homeland Security officials "monitor" his web site, along with about 200 other news and social networking sites. Or as Glenn Beck's Blaze hilariously put it, "Homeland Security Given Green Light to Monitor American Journalists." So what do you call reading a newspaper?

While listening to Aunt Eunice talk about her recent hip surgery and watching Little Cousin Jaydenlynne text furiously over her plateful of unwanted peas, you slowly chewed your turkey and thought about American's politicians and pundits, and how they are spending Thanksgiving. Am I right?

Visitors to the Drudge Report Tuesday evening were treated to the headline, "OBAMA'S NEW 'CHRISTMAS TREE TAX,'" accompanied by a photo of what would appear to be the president freezing a child solid with his Jack Frost breath so he could snatch away her tower of Legos. As breathlessly relayed in festering Fox News subsidiary Fox Nation, it's a chilling tale of a Commander in Grinch and his plans to steal Christmas via the levying of a tax on all Yuletide shrubberies. Why? Because he hates Christians, of course. (It might stem from the fact that Christmas always overshadows Kwanzaadan, and the seasonal magic of its ceremonial goat raffle.)