maryland

Out-of-Control Justin Bieber Hurls Water Balloons at Police Officers

Richard Lawson · 09/09/10 02:38PM

Dangerously unpredictable manufactured pop sensation Justin Bieber was "horsing around" with some friends before a concert when he threw two water balloons at Maryland State Troopers, one of which burst. Biebs, assaulting a police officer is a felony!

Maryland's Alleged Semen Attacker Charged

Max Read · 08/05/10 09:06PM

A man has been accused of spraying bottled semen onto the backs of shoppers in Maryland. And then taking pictures. As one resident put it: "Oh, that's nasty. Oh, that's really not good. That's disgusting."

Scary Crucifixion Rituals Around the World

Maureen O'Connor · 04/04/10 02:21PM

Easter is the best holiday for sadists, as Catholics worldwide bloody themselves imitating the passion of Christ, just like Mel Gibon's torture porno with that name. It's also rural Filipinos' annual season of infamy, for literally nailing themselves to crosses.

Heroic State Senator Saves College Students From Porn

Pareene · 04/03/09 09:27AM

The University of Maryland student union was going to play a film called Pirates 2: Stagnetti's Revenge, a reasonably big-budget fuck flick based on those pirate movies from the Disney people but with fake tits and bad jokes instead of Johnny Depp and bad jokes. (And with explicit sex, obviously. It's probably shorter than those damn pirate movies too.)