Mary Lou Bruner believes that Noah kept baby dinosaurs on his ark, that President Obama is a former drug-addled gay prostitute, and that the New World Order is secretly working to reduce the world’s population by roughly two-thirds. Mary Lou Bruner also believes that she would make a great representative on the Texas State Board of Education. Somehow, Texas disagreed, and last night, Mary Lou Bruner lost.

This is Mary Lou Bruner. Mary Lou believes that baby dinosaurs lived on Noah’s ark, school shootings are a product of kids learning evolution, and the New World Order is working to reduce the world’s population by about two-thirds. Mary Lou also just so happens to be running for the Texas State Board of Education. She has a pretty good shot.