Once upon a time the forebears of Kate Middleton's family were all coalminers, roadsweepers, and prisoners. Today, their descendants are princesses and marshmallow salesmen. The potential impact of a diet rich in Vitamin E on your family's fortunes cannot be overstated.

About 100 hormone-crazed middle and high school students descended upon the White House yesterday for a Science Fair (which, in this economy, am I right?) and Joey, an eighth grader from Phoenix, Ariz., was the unofficial winner of everything.