Remember that delightful multicultural collegiate duo Harold & Kumar, whom we last saw being forever thwarted on their Sisyphean journey to procure White Castle burgers? Well they're back, the scamps, and this time they're trying to escape from Guantanamo Bay! You wouldn't be able to tell from this just-released trailer, though, since it features their interactions with a cyclops, rather than with the US military. Ah well, we're sure that it fits into the plot in a way we can scarcely imagine. If you so choose, you can watch the clip [via OhNoTheyDidnt] after the jump.

Absolut ran an ad in Mexico showing the pre-1848 map of that country with the tagline, "In An Absolut World." The ad agency explained to the LA Times, unnecessarily, that "The campaign taps into the national pride of Mexicans." Now I see! Well, true patriots in this country aren't about to stand for some Mexicans reconquering the American Southwest via a liquor advertisement. Some internet users—even Long Islanders!—are calling for an Absolut boycott [LAT via Drudge]. That's fine with us. Xenophobes don't need to be drinking in the first place. The full version of the treasonous ad is below.

"Dear sirs: I read your add about the world break out record with everyone dressing as the Ninja Turtle. Please note that these may be purchase thru Morris Costumes at 704-332-3304. Thanks Scott Morris"

Las Vegas: where every imaginable tactic of sex-related extortion will eventually become a business plan. Are you a rich, lecherous man who enjoys escort services as well as golfing, and are frustrated at your inability to combine the two? Well wait no longer, because The Platinum Tees are here to take care of your leering needs. The PT's are essentially a bunch of models from an agency in Vegas, with one key difference: they have been "put through rigorous training" to learn how to be golf caddies. Yes, they "know the difference between a putter and wedge, take care of your ball, clean your clubs, drive your cart, fix divots, tend the pin, and most importantly keep you smiling!" I bet they do.

NBC has a new show coming up this season called "Kings," which will be a joint-promotional deal with suicide-exploiting insurance company Liberty Mutual. They're the ones who promoted their shitty branding website by buying up Google Adwords like "Paul Tilley," the name of the ad exec who committed suicide in February. Classy! The show will be "a modern-day retelling of the David and Goliath story. The themes of the show are meant to be consistent with Liberty Mutual's "Responsibility Project," which promotes personal responsibility." Boycott this show responsibly, please. [NYT]

If you've been following the real news, you'll recall that Max Mosley is the British Formula 1 racing president who is currently involved in a slight tiff over a video of him having an hours-long Nazi-themed orgy with five hookers. A bit embarrassing for him personally, yes. It's also caused some grumbling among the Formula 1 teams. And now, this sex scandal is reaching its absurd logical conclusion, as its ripples extend into the highest reaches of the world's corporations: BMW and Mercedes-Benz have jointly condemned Mosley's sexual taste as "disgraceful." [BBC]. Because they are the arbiters of morality in sexuality! They're also a bit sensitive about the whole Nazi angle, because, you know, they're from Germany themselves.

LOL! OMG! GIMME UR $$$! Did u kno that big companies are using txt msg lingo as a way to connect to young, hip consumers such as yourself? They totally r! The technique has the double whammy of not only being incredibly annoying in commercials, but also being incredibly annoying to read about in news stories. Particularly in a stodgy old rag like the Wall Street Journal, which is forced by custom and habit to spend a huge portion of the piece explaining to its audience what all these abbreviations mean. It's the same reason that it's annoying to read NYT stories about hip hop, or Washington Post stories about the latest trends in teen fucking. Just let the youth take care of it amongst themselves! NE wayz, these txt lingo ads are a mixed bag, since the necessity of translation cuts down on the desired cool factor. Prime example: this Cingular ad, depicting a situation that would cause a reasonable person to lock their child in the closet:

Something to wear with your Kurt Cobain Converse on the way to a party at the Williamsburg Edge: a $190 Kurt Cobain t-shirt. For the sake of capitalism, let's hope this trend never ends! [Satchel of Gravel]

That ABC show "American Inventor" has, stunningly, produced a real, breakthrough product: the backless bra. No longer will women be forced to suffer the tyranny of an encircling bra strap! Maidenform is now selling the product, which originated as a finalist entry on the show, for $25. And soon, the company will be launching a big ad campaign for the bra, which includes a promise from the (male) ad executives to model it upon request [Adrants]. Something for kinks of every stripe! After countless generations of embarrassing fumbling by men and chafing upon women's backs, this campaign would have to be terrible for the product not to be a wild success. Below, a clip of the heroic inventor, Elaine Cato, demonstrating her humanitarian idea on the show last year.

Ha ha, what's the only thing more entertaining than watching regular dogs? Watching dogs who are kinda old and tend to fall down! Ohhhh, he can't quite get in that darned trunk! It's okay though—these dogs are going to be GETTING BETTER, thanks to Dr. Frank's Safe & Natural Joint Pain Relief For Pets, offered in this infomercial. There's plenty of testimonials, but the best part, honestly, is the falling dogs. And the pug so old that it has to ride in a basket. Click to the video to watch them stumble.

Going on a trip any time soon? Why not ask Kanye West? What? Why of course he has his own travel website! It's called KanyeTravel.com, and it just launched after a year of preparation. Why the fuck does Kanye West have a travel website, why would anybody use such a thing, and how in the world could it take a year to set it up? There are so many questions in this crazy world! [Ad Age]

Houston: what's the point? The Texas city is most famous for the Bush family, big hair, and sippin on the sizzurp. At least that's the stereotype, and as a non-Houstonite, I don't care enough about the city to put in the effort to dispel that stereotype. But the city has anticipated this; they're rolling out an ad campaign designed to boost the city's reputation [NYT]. It's called "My Houston," and it features celebrities talking about what they like about the city. Unoriginal idea, Houston! Really now, are tourists going to flock to a hot, sprawling, asphalt-covered outpost in Texas just because racer A.J. Foyt fondly reminisces about speeding around its traffic-choked outer loop roads? In any major city, no matter how forlorn it is, you can find a handful of prominent citizens who will talk it up. They're called the rich. They'd get along pretty well anywhere—even Houston. Besides, why did the city go and spend a bunch of money on a new ad campaign when they could have just gone to YouTube and pulled off this perfectly adequate "Great Day Houston" rapping promo for free?

Remember that IO Digital Cable/ Optimum Online reggaeton ad on the beach that is the most ubiquitous thing on television in the tristate area? Ha, you don't just remember it, you secretly love it! Or perhaps it makes you want to murder people. Either way, when I saw this old Spanish remix of the ad running on Telemundo last weekend, I knew I had to find it and bring it to you, the viewer. This is not just the same as the ad on the beach, but with Spanish lyrics; this is a totally different ad, done in a Hype Williams-style shiny black and white palette, with dancing girls, an even more banging beat, and that reggaeton guy dressed up like Busta Rhymes, riding in a tiny car! It's truly a must-see. If you don't see much Spanish TV, you'll want to bookmark this one to watch over and over and over and over. Full video after the jump.

An annual marketing survey rated Apple the No. 1 brand that consumers can't live without — a spot usually won by Coca-Cola. The computer maker also was cited as the most inspiring brand. Google also featured highly on the survey, but no other tech companies made the cut. No surprise there: Does anyone really think Oracle or SAP are inspiring?

When it comes to celebrity endorsements, Harrison Ford isn't exactly known for splashing his chiseled face across billboards shilling for shower gels and cell phones (Japanese beer, as you'll see after the jump, is whole 'nother story). But according to Mediabistro, Ford recently agreed to partner with powerhouse advertising agency BBDO to develop a series of environmentally angled ads. And, apparently, Ford's developed a case of the Nortons:

Gays: Here is one of the plainest insights you will ever get into how you are perceived by the liquor industry, and, by extension, by the advertising industry that gets paid to understand consumers such as yourself. Pictured here is an ad for Basil Hayden's whiskey that was placed in "general market" publications. Its tagline reads, "When you walk into a bar, you're on stage." After the jump, the tagline for the version of that same ad that was placed into Gay/ Lesbian publications:

If there's one thing a mobile phone does not need, it's a "Philosophy." If there's another thing a mobile phone does not need, it's a luxury brand above and beyond whatever the brand is of the actual phone manufacturer. Of course this means that today any asshole with $550 burning a hole in his pocket can buy a Samsung phone by Giorgio Armani. Has Armani suddenly hired a team of engineers who have built a revolutionary new microchip that maximizes the phone's performance? No, Armani has done what he does best: Print his name in little letters on the phone, then wildly increase the price. This type of product's success (still going strong after six months) says a lot about the human need for validation through conspicuous consumption. But more importantly, it says that any old nonsensical piece of marketing copy can now be passed off as a statement of "Philosophy":

What is the single most repellent image that humans can conjure up? Apparently, it's scorpions. Trendhunter has a list of the Top 50 "Shockvertisements" in recent history—ads that stirred up a controversy. The most common thread, obviously, is sex; but three different campaigns on the list chose to shock people by picturing scorpions. Scorpions that are touching you! Advertisers find that no other bug comes close in its ability to disgust. Below, pictures of the three scorpion ads: one is shocking but effective, one is weird but effective, and one is just misguided.

Back in the 1930s and 40s, Kellogg's cereal was a steamroller. It didn't have all types of boutique designer cereals to compete against, so you were damn well going to eat it. And Kellogg's wasn't shy in positioning itself. It's not just something you consume; its products will cure constipation, calm your nerves, and give your man the PEP he needs to do you all night long, baby. Not to mention: single-serving Kellogg's boxes defeated Hitler. All that, and a 13-year-old girl in—I'm sorry—ugly clothes, after the jump.

Does your company need a jolt? Have you frequently said to yourself, "We could get back on track if only we could find a young, overconfident marketing assistant who backs it all up with a Bachelor of Music in Trumpet Performance and Certificate in Journalism from Indiana University!" Well brother, I think I have just the young man for you. Didn't think you could find someone with all that and a history of performing "psychedelic folk with a twist of Indian classical" music? Meet Josh Millrod, your future entry-level employee extraordinaire!