Just in case you had any remaining shred of a suspicion that inane Microtrend maker-upper Mark Penn might actually have some worthwhile advice about something, today he touts blogging as a good job opportunity. Ha!

To answer Time's headline: NO. Mark Penn should not get paid. He should be put in a box with insects. But apparently that is not an option!

Yesterday we asserted that former Bush roboflackMale Ari Fleischer was America's most irrelevant talking head. Today, however, we learned that former Bush roboflackFemale Dana Perino is joining forces with Microtrend maker-upper Mark Penn. Revision:

Marcy Simon, the former mistress of Google CEO Eric Schmidt, has landed a PR gig at Mark Penn's Burson-Marsteller. We hear her new job is stirring up antitrust trouble for Google at Microsoft's behest.

Oh. Damn. Microtrend-spotting evil flack Mark Penn has struck upon the way to get rich. And he reveals it today, in his microtrend column! Totally. Ironclad. Moneymaking. This is why he's much wealthier than you:

Mark Penn, the Burson-Marsteller PR guy known for giving terribly inept advice to everyone from Hillary Clinton to Bill Gates, is opening his home to help the poor. Everyone's welcome!

Thoroughly discredited PR man Mark Penn enjoys being dominated by Rachel Maddow, and charging outrageous fees to package common sense as insight for out-of-touch corporate mouthbreathers. Today: poor people like cheap things!

Last week Rachel Maddow called out failed Clinton consigliere Mark Penn for running an evil PR firm, Burson-Marsteller. The firm is evil, and Penn should just shut up. But he didn't! So he paid:

(This is from yesterday's Rachel Maddow Show, shortly after her MSNBC colleague finished pointing to his Cornell diploma to prove a crazy point.)

Today's Mark Penn "Microtrend": lots of people are out of work! Well, that is just a "trend." The "micro" bit is that the sort of people the famous pollster knows personally are out of work!

Through the recession-blackened debris of our once great nation, there blows a consolatory treasure, a reminder, if you will, of what being American is all about: suing people! Thanks to the mass layoffs of lawyers—on February 12th alone, 800 law firm employees were let go—the cost of a lawsuit should drop "for the first time in history," explains Mark Penn, the CEO of the PR firm Burson-Marsteller and the scandal-plagued strategist who worked on Hillary Clinton's presidential campaign. Music to the ears, no doubt, of women who have ever been employed by Simon Hammerstein, or of waitstaff at basically any New York restaurant.

The world's best pollster in history ever conducted a poll that found that Mark Penn's own "3 a.m. Ad" was the best political ad ever, and that is why Hillary Clinton is president now. [Wonkette]

Tina Brown, author of a best-selling book on Princess Diana and editor-in-chief of a neat blogsite that is like HuffPo but without the faux-populism "anyone can blog" shtick, is really sweating this new media environment.

Hawk-eyed sociopolitical trendspotter and inexplicable WSJ columnist Mark Penn unveils his latest Microtrend: People are using the internet, to learn about things. [WSJ]

Obviously we live in a cruel and absurd universe of well-rewarded idiocy and undeserved second chances, but if we didn't, these are the ten people you'd meet in the nu-depression's breadlines.

Hillary Clinton "loaned herself" $13 million last January, when she was losing to Barack Obama in the primaries, and now she has written that loan off, so the 2008 primaries are finally over.

Professional loser Mark Penn—the strategist who can tell you exactly how to become disliked by each individual microsegment of the population—has a new book ad WSJ column. Let's talk about how stupid it is:

Mark Penn should be shot from a cannon into the deepest part of the ocean. Instead he has a new Wall Street Journal column! Let's read it, and cry.

What has Mark Penn, the scandal-plagued strategy guru for Hillary Clinton's presidential campaign, been up to as of late? He's back to doing what he does best: conducting useless marketing research. The "2008 Presidential Image Power Survey," conducted by Penn, Schoen & Berland and Landor Associates, asked voters to associate the presidential candidates with various brands, including "fictional spies, retail outlets, snack foods and cars." The answers? Voters connected Obama to BMW, Google and Target, while Mr. McCain was compared to Ford, Wal-Mart, and AOL. Translation: Obama is associated with cool stuff; McCain makes people think of a car company about to go bankrupt, a big-box retailer that abuses its employees, and an Internet company that peaked 11 years ago. [AdAge]

What pollsters call the easily manipulable people they are paid to manipulate when they are no longer being paid to make up quippy little euphemisms for "emotionally-motivated ignoramuses" such as "Hockey mom": "I think the best argument to get those voters is that he's going to follow a really strong but sensible course in terms of turning around the economy. I think a lot of those voters, particularly the downscale voters who saw Hillary Clinton as a champion for them, are looking for someone who's going to be able to champion their cause, particularly in the economic area." [CBS News]