Did you know the Office of National Drug Control Policy has a publicly-accessible database of "street terms" for drugs? It's like the feds' own Urban Dictionary. But with even less accountability and oversight! Here's an abridged version.

A new study indicates that cognitive function is impaired by chronic marijuana use. ("Chronic," like "frequent," you stoner.) Looks like your older brother was wrong when he told you that pot was harmless because "it's from the earth"!

A medical marijuana-legalizing ballot initiative passed by 4,341 votes in Arizona, allowing for the creation of up to 124 dispensaries that would sell weed to patients with "debilitating medical conditions," such as cancer, glaucoma, or living in Arizona.

A new father in Pennsylvania lit a joint in the local hospital's smoking section to celebrate his child's birth. He told security, "I'm having a baby and wanted to get a buzz," which seems reasonable, if not responsible. [via LehemSteel]

Jamie Foxx got on Lopez Tonight to talk proposition 19. Not in a constructive way, no, but about his pot habits and how the president must smoke pot, because he's always so smooth. Pot makes you smooth, kids! Video inside:

Proposition 19, the California ballot measure that would have legalized marijuana possession, has been defeated, leading to literally dozens of bad weed jokes in headlines across the country. Poor Californians! Will they ever get a chance to try pot?

Today on The View, a discussion about alcohol turned into Whoopi making a speech about California's marijuana reform bill. At the end Whoopi claims to not actually know anything about weed and the entire audience and cast start laughing.

Forget Stewart and Colbert's rallies — the hero of the day just might be Zach Galifianakis. During last night's Real Time With Bill Maher, the funnyman lit up a joint, took a puff, and passed it around to the panel.

here's a pretend phone call inside this video. She says "ring ring ring." Cris Erikson is running for Senate in Vermont as part of the United States Marijuana Party, and she has no chance, but she's here for our amusement!

Who says cops are unhelpful? When one 21-year-old Pennsylvanian purchased some "nasty" pot, he called his local police department. They came by, and very helpfully tested the "leafy green substance," only to discover it was not, in fact, marijuana.

Hey, parents! What's the best way to stop your kids from doing drugs? What's that you say? A conversation? Ha! Nice try, hippie. The best way to stop your kids from doing drugs is to search your home with a drug-sniffing dog once a week, rented from Maryland's very own nonprofit organization, Dogs Finding Drugs:

Polls show California's Proposition 19 losing support and possibly failing. But dweeb hero Nate Silver says pollsters might be rashly excluding stoners as "likely voters" for the pot legalization measure. They'll get around to voting. Like, almost definitely.

Mexican authorities seized 105 tons of marijuana on Monday. That's more than 95 million joints.

A D.A.R.E. anti-drug lesson about the "dangers" of marijuana made such an impression on a fifth grader that he brought his parents' joints to school and reported them. He's now been removed from his house by social services.

Don't get that excited about California Prop 19 — a state ballot measure to legalize small possessions of marijuana — passing, kids. Because mean old Attorney General Eric Holder says his department will still "vigorously enforce" superseding federal anti-pot laws.

David Arquette is "begging" Courteney Cox to get back together with him. He's so torn up, he called his good friend Howard Stern to talk about it—and dished about their sex lives, "methodical" lovemaking, and extramarital relationships.

California is all set to vote on Proposition 19, which would legalize possession and sale of small amounts of marijuana. Added bonus for free enterprise advocates: a new report says the Mexican drug cartels would barely even notice it.

Sean Parker and Dustin Moskovitz have donated a total of $170,000 to support California's Proposition 19 to legalize marijuana. In so doing, the old friends of Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg have become two of pot legalization's best friends.

Baking pot brownies is fun, but have you ever cooked up a batch with your parents? That's a little weird, right? Well, it's quite the opposite for one young man and his father: "We spend our bonding time making brownies."