Kim Kardashian officially turns 29 today, even though she got paid $50,000 to celebrate the big event in Las Vegas last week. Judith Sheindlin, better known as Judge Judy, turns 67. Saturday Night Live co-producer Marci Klein is turning 43. Actress Carrie Fisher is 53. Patti Davis, daughter of Ronald and Nancy Reagan, turns 57. Jade Jagger, social scenester and daughter of Mick and Bianca, is turning 38. Former Xerox CEO Anne Mulcahy is 57. Liliane Bettencourt, heir to the L'Oreal fortune and the second richest person in France, is 87. And Israeli prime minister Benjamin Netanyahu turns 60 today.

Everyone is speculating wildly: The Post asks if Tom Cruise gave his wives cold sores; Hollywood reporters accuse their boss of naughty flights and Madonna thinks a new baby can maybe fix everything.

• Both Katie Holmes and Nicole Kidman have active cases of herpes, reports Page Six, something you should probably keep in mind in the event either woman tries to plant a kiss on you. [P6]
• William H. Macy will take over for Jeremy Piven in Speed-the-Plow now that the Pivster has overdosed on sushi and will need to take time off to cleanse his sacred temple from mercury. [NYP]
• Marci Klein, SNL producer and daughter of Calvin, is calling it quits with her husband of eight years, Scott Murphy. [P6]

Two role models to women everywhere are celebrating birthdays today: The feisty Judith Sheindlin (that's Judge Judy to you) is 66. The very modest reality TV personality and sex tape star Kim Kardashian is celebrating her 28th birthday today. Others with a birthday cake in their immediate futures: Marci Klein, Lorne Michaels' right-hand at SNL (and the daughter of Calvin) is 42. Xerox CEO Anne Mulcahy is 56. Jade Jagger—socialite, jewelery designer, and offspring of Mick and Bianca—is turning 37. Indie film producer Jason Kliot is 45. Actress Carrie Fisher is 52. And former Israeli prime minister Benjamin Netanyahu is 59.

Either the three-day weekend has caused some kind of misfiring in the space where our hearts should be, or today's New Yorker profile of Alec Baldwin is actually a rather touching portrait of a misguided but talented middle-aged actor whose side we're now inclined to take against loony tune Kim Basinger. Of course, he's angry and arrogant, but hearing him list the litany of bad films that scuttled his ambitions to be a Hollywood leading man ("In '93, I did the remake of 'The Getaway,' with my wife. That was a bomb. I did 'The Shadow.' That was a bomb. In '94, I did 'Heaven's Prisoners.' That was a bomb. In '95, I did 'The Juror.' That was a bomb.") is sorta sad.

Dalton was in the news last week when it was revealed that not a single graduating senior had landed a spot at Harvard. According to Page Six magazine, at Dalton's graduation ceremony last month, "one mom was heard muttering, 'I won't send my grandchildren here, that's for sure.'" Fret not, Dalton parents! A long list of notable people have walked the halls of the posh school, even a few people (like Arden Wohl, left) who don't seem to be famous for any other reason than for wearing unusual headgear and attending lots of parties. A list of other Dalton grads after the jump.

Marci Klein is the co-producer of Saturday Night Live and the president of Lorne Michaels' SNL Studios Television. Her dad also happens to be Calvin Klein.