On this week's edition of, "Andy Rooney Talks About Things That He Hates," we have this: Rooney goes through fan mail, and then criticizes the people who wrote him letters! He also says that he will never shave his eyebrows.

Lindsay Lohan is getting 250 letters a day in jail. You've been using your postcards!

The U.S. Postal Service, which is a thing you will enjoy describing to your grandchildren, wants to raise the price of first-class stamps by two cents, to 46 cents. That is still a huge bargain! Go write a letter! [WSJ]

Recently sentenced Utah convict Kari Ferrell has sent another jailhouse letter to her pen pal, Animal NY's Bucky Turco. Below, a random sample. Her prose style should be familiar by now.

We get a lot of mail every day at Defamer HQ, some utterly essential, some a little more on the expendable side. But on a day packed with layoffs, Grammy Hell, Hamlin/Rinna reality shows, Paris Hilton's slimy bologna, remake overload, pseudo Doomsday Babies and strip-joint fires, it seems natural — and more than a little spooky — that the Defamer mailbag tested positive for unusually high levels of armageddon. After the jump, join us in winding down Apocalypse Watch '08 with a run through the apocalyptic subject lines that were, and in mourning the vibrant pop culture that was.

Someone really liked that nude Alex McCord photo: "Hello. Can you tell me if their are more photos of Alex McCord nude and also how did you find them? Thanks."

"I worked at Oxygen and I can guarentee that SueJo is a lesbadoodle. She was going to come out on Letterman when she was there during National Coming Out date, but didn't." In reference to this, we assume.

A New York City postal carrier has been arrested for stealing greeting cards in order to get at the cash inside; more than 130 were found in his car. Michael Olivio was caught red-handed by an elaborate scheme set up by U.S. Postal Inspection special agents, which involved decoy cards and a transmitter. Hey, working at a post office is super boring, what do you want? Olivio's been at it since February, so if you live in Brooklyn and are missing that $5 from your great-aunt Bessie, it's probably because you didn't tip your mailman enough last year—live and learn, people. [AP]

An interesting piece of mail was waiting when we got home last night:

Arts-organization publicists around New York City who have continued to address their mailed press releases to once-but-no-more Times Arts editor Jodi Kantor have been receiving this form letter in reply: