Even though we’re a day late on this, Dark Knight’ s “ironic” lingerie model Maggie Gyllenhaal appeared on Letterman Wednesday night and charmed the pants right off Dave with talk of everyone's favorite celebrity topic: drugs. Speaking in her standard sweetly candid tone, Maggie told a tale of a nurse whose number we’d really like to get a hold of — seems this kooky practitioner who aided Maggie with a broken toe is more than eager to push bundles of those morphine-patches-disguised-as-"painkillers"—Percocets—on her patients.

Aaron Eckhart and Maggie Gyllenhaal dropped by the Today Show this morning to shill a movie, Batman: The Dark Knight Returns. Eckhart earnestly related to host Matt Lauer a story about their deceased costar Heath Ledger which he'd told Ledger's mother — namely, that friends were passing around Ledger's iPod as a form of remembrance:

After surviving months of Dark Knight hype, viral outreach and tastefully overblown praise for late co-star Heath Ledger, Defamer finally got its chance at a screening Tuesday to see what all the Bat-fuss was about. And as editor Seth Abramovitch and senior editor S.T. VanAirsdale discovered in their second installment of Defamer Instant Reviews, not everybody is ready to validate its Second Coming status quite yet. Is it good? Absolutely. Is it the best film of the summer? That's where things get complicated — on AIM, of course, because this watershed cultural moment deserves no less.

Maggie Gyllenhaal and Aaron Eckhart showing up at the Today show to promote Dark Knight ... John Mayer hamming it up for the cameras downtown ... Natalie Portman carrying a doggie bag in the Village ... Kanye West with a Louis Vuitton backpack waiting for his car ... Gabrielle Union crossing the street on Central Park South ... Heidi Klum leaving her West Village apartment in a hurry ... Everybody Love Raymond's Brad Garrett at Columbus Circle with a female friend ... Whoopi Goldberg taking a walk near her apartment in SoHo ... Restaurateur Drew Nieporent sitting in the first row at the All-Star Game last night ... Kelly Osbourne leaving a lunch downtown ... Kimora Lee Simmons arriving at a party to promote Fabulosity, her newest clothing line.

Anne Hathaway carrying a bouquet of flowers and an iced coffee ... Maggie Gyllenhaal and daughter Ramona going for a walk in Brooklyn ... Lourdes Leon with dad Carlos leaving Madonna's Central Park West apartment ... Madonna and Guy Ritchie walking in the street instead of the sidewalk in Midtown ... Lauren Conrad and crew boarding a sea plane, en route to the Hamptons ... Jennifer Lopez on the set of an Elle photo shoot with Oscar de la Renta ... Newlyweds Ethan Hawke and Ryan Shawhughes walking their dog through the Village.

Yet another actress is sounding off on how urgently they needed to slim down after giving birth, and unlike sourpuss Jessica Alba or wine-guzzling Gwyneth Paltrow, this is a chick we actually like. Beginning the rounds of press for her role as Katie Holmes’ Replacement in the highly anticipated, potentially Oscar-adorned Dark Knight, Maggie Gyllenhaal tells USA Today how she speedily dropped all her baby weight before stripping down for some racy Agent Provocateur lingerie ads:

Isn't it fortunate that we have celebrities to teach us about unique, profound experiences like parenting? Otherwise, no one would appreciate what it's like to have a child, because it's not like nearly everyone else in the world does it! Maggie Gyllenhaal, who with Peter Sarsgaard makes up one of the most insufferable couples in Park Slope (and it's a competitive field), is the latest actress who thinks she's the first person in history to be a mom.

After using Maggie Gyllenhaal in last year's ads, British sexy underwear label Agent Provocateur are again looking at New Yorkers for this fall's campaign: Helena Christensen and Paz de la Huerta are in the running. Modeling lingerie would be an appropriate gig for the occasional actress and Zac Posen muse, considering her rep for impromptu drunken stripteases. [WWD]

We read the celebrity news so you don't have to. In case this morning's one-paragraph gossip roundup was too much unbroken text, here's a handy guide to our ailing stars. They're dropping like flies!

The sister of Jake, Gyllenhaal is an indie actress, vocal liberal, and style icon.

· Look! Lindsay's enabling, fame-craving mom is literally riding around on her daughter's back now!
· No matter how that Emmy situation shakes out, Showtime can be happy it at least landed three members of the The L Word's cast in the top ten of AfterEllen's Hot 100 list of lesbian lust objects.
· Completely unsubstantiated rumor: Nicole Richie's reproductive system functioning against all odds.
· You should really be ashamed at yourselves for looking at photos of Maggie Gyllenhaal breastfeeding. Sickies, all of you.

Undeterred by the bloggy debate (that some terrible people have permitted to occur) about whether or not it's okay to publicly breastfeed, Maggie Gyllenhaal soldiers on for women's right to lactate in public without shame or apology. I'm 200% serious about this, by the way. If and when I have children I am going to breastfeed them until they're 6, wherever I go, because I am always going to be poor and that is free baby food.

· Just in case the recently unveiled "Paris Hilton Autopsy" didn't fulfill all of your Hilton-related ironic-sculpture needs, we direct your attention to "Suicide Socialite," on display this weekend at the Venice Contemporary. [Photo: TheVeniceContemporary.com]
· Today, a fairly gross "news of the weird" item; tomorrow, a misguided viral Spider-Man marketing campaign aimed at raising awareness among 9-year-olds.
· Ellen Barkin laments her decision to become billionaire arm-candy.
· Celebrity charity endorsements: worth all the substance-abusing, bisexual make-out trouble? Of course they are.
· Maggie Gyllenhaal's breastfeeding ignites online momtroversy.

Searching for a handy way to tell whether or not you're an asshole? See which of the Babble commenters' reactions to this picture of Maggie Gyllenhaal providing her infant with nourishment you agree with!

As Katie Holmes gets set to star opposite Queen Latifah in Mad Money—the all-gal, low-budget buddy comedy that promises to do for her career what Taxi did for Jimmy Fallon's—comes the announcement that Maggie Gyllenhaal will be taking over as The Dark Knight's D.A. Rachel Dawes, the role Holmes originated in Batman Begins:

PrivacyWatch celebrity sightings are submitted by our readers, and are posted several times a week, so send them in—the world is waiting. Submit yours to tips[AT]defamer.com (please put "sighting" or "PrivacyWatch" in the subject line) and let everyone know about the time you saw Paula Abdul browsing the self-med section at Book Soup:

· Maggie Gyllenhaal and Terrence Howard are named honory co-chairs of Film Independent's Spirit Awards, as much for their pinchable cheeks and twinkly eyes as for their impressive body of independent film work. [Variety]
· Tom O'Neil is still trying to decipher the Oscar Code (thankfully, this time not from his bed), and comes to the following conclusions: Scorsese will pick up the DGA award, and Best Picture is anyone's to win. Your office pool's a lock! [The Envelope]
· One oddsmaker puts Departed ahead with 5-4 odds, and Sunshine right behind it at 5-2, but it could easily pull ahead, as Academy members looking for some uplift among a depressing field will ultimately prove unable to resist the charms of its suicidal gay uncles and heroin-snorting dead grandpas. [USA Today]
· The Genies (for the uninitiated: Canada's top film award, and no, none of your three wishes will turn it into an Oscar) gives its Claude Jutra Award for best freshman filmmaker to Vancouver's Julia Kwan for Eve and the Fire Horse, and Stephane Lapointe of Montreal for The Secret Life of Happy People. [Variety]
· The Bagger is set adrift by this year's Oscar unpredictablity. Come on, Oscar-prognosticating-monkey, prognosticate for us! [The Carpetbagger]

We know many of you are concerned about the legitimately scary turn of events that saw a tree fall on, then start a fire in, Manka's Inverness Lodge in Marin County (pictured), forcing the early morning evacuation of its guests—among them Jake and Maggie Gyllenhaal and Frances McDormand and Joel Coen. Well, thanks to a Defamer operative in the vicinity, we can now report that Maggie and family have emerged unscathed, with sandwich-eating appetites intact:

Jake and Maggie Gyllenhaal, along with Frances McDormand and husband Joel Coen, were slumbering at a Marin County inn when a tree crashed into it early yesterday morning, igniting a fire and sending its guests—both celebrity and non—fleeing for their lives. Reports the Marin Independent Journal: