In your sumptuous Tuesday media feast: Celebrity mags flounder, interns replace reporters, Ron Burkle's steaming mad, the New Yorker has jokes, and more!

• HarperCollins announced layoffs and a major reorg today. [NYO, Gawker]
• No one wants to take the editor job at OK! [Page Six]
• Ron Burkle's magazine distribution company is suing a bunch of publishing companies for trying to drive it out of business. We should be so lucky. [NYP]
• Michael Kinsley explains why micropayments won't save newspapers. [NYT]
• Time's Walter Isaacson, however, argued the opposite position last night when he appeared on The Daily Show with Jon Stewart. [NYO, TDS]
• Hachette is dropping out of the Magazine Publishers of America. [AdAge]
• Live Nation and Ticketmaster have announced plans to merge. [NYT]
• CBS scored big ratings on Sunday thanks to the Grammys. [AdAge]
• A day in the life of Fox News anchor Shepard Smith. [Esquire]

In your temperate Monday media column: How ABC landed the octuplet-grandma "scoop," yet another plan to save the NYT, journalism lives(?), and a magazine dies (no question):

• Magazine newsstand sales tumbled during the second half of 2008. [NYT]
• The Grammys were seen by an estimated 19.1 million people last night. [AP]
• The Times reports on the Times's recent troubles, conveniently concluding the paper's "positioned itself well to ride out another year of recession." [NYT]
• Steve Brill has a few thoughts on how the Times can save itself. [Poynter]
• Not surprisingly, SI is milking every last dollar out if its swimsuit issue. [WSJ]
• Following the news last week that Universal and DreamWorks were parting ways, Disney announced today it would distribute DreamWorks's films. [THR]
• Jim Cramer's ratings are up; his stock picks are as lousy as ever. [Barron's]
• A Queens hairstylist is suing the Daily News after the paper accidentally identified her as "Manhattan Madam" Kristin Davis. Twice. [Regret the Error]

Newsweek, which traditionally (dentist's office joke), has for the first time ever correctly identified an overarching trend in American society and formulated a reasonable response, unaccompanied by any special "The Historical Jesus" stories!

After asking about rumors that deceased environmental magazine Plenty was stiffing writers, we heard from more pissed-off former staffers. Some think the owner could pay if he wanted.

In your finally Friday media column: TV Guide wants ads on its cover, Journalism students wake up, Twitter has awards, and old folks will soon be (more) confused:

According to a new survey by MediaFinder, 525 magazines went out of business in 2008. Happy Friday. [Crain's]

Matthew Freud—Sigmund's great grandson—is a London PR big shot who married Elisabeth Murdoch, Rupert's daughter. A memo floating around today about his New York office has people asking: What does it mean?

Newsprint billionaire Peter Brant has reportedly been firing Interview staff left and right, to cut costs. But he still had $50 million for a new 15-passenger private jet, we're told.

Second-string New Yorker movie critic David Denby hates 'snark.' He wrote a whole book of fiction about it! What would the man think if he knew that snark—yes, snark—is creeping into his own publication's content?

In your risible Thursday media column: a new New Yorker publisher, Time Out NY cuts pay (with a pizza party!), Laurel Touby Twitters, and more:

In the past 24 hours, more than 8,000 of you voted on which Conde Nast magazine most deserves to live. You care, you really care! Your full results—and what they mean—below:

• Lionsgate and the Weinstein Co. filed lawsuits against each other yesterday over distribution rights to the Sundance hit film Push. [THR]
• Shake up at Condé Nast: New Yorker publisher Drew Schutte is out and will be replaced by Condé Nast Traveler publisher Lisa Hughes. [NYP]
• The New York Times Co. is cutting staff at its About.com unit. [Reuters]
• Walter Isaacson has a few thoughts on how to save newspapers. [Time]
• The House has voted to extend the deadline to switch to digital TV. [NYT]
• Katie Couric will be hitting the catwalk during Fashion Week. Yay. [WWD]

What do you get when you mix the star power of musical train wreck Axl Rose with the finance-as-a-second-career media appeal of former ballplayer Lenny Dykstra? A Guns N' Roses financial columnist!

Reminder: voting for our poll "Which Conde Nast Magazine Most Deserves to Live?" closes at noon today. You'll have no chance for a sweet free subscription to your favorite unless you vote now! [VOTE]

Hard to imagine, but try: Could the eco-hippies who published late green magazine Plenty be stiffing writers who contributed to its last issue? Environmental writers are starting to suspect so!

In your frostbitten Wednesday media column: Time Warner burns billions, the Daily Beast loses luster, alt-weeklies miraculously manage, and more!

Former alleged Spitzer hooker #2 Kristin Davis: "I got the best response to my escort ad's in New York magazine. They're expensive, but that's where many of my clients got my phone number." [Steppin Out]

What's this—rumors of more magazine death at Conde Nast? We've had enough. It's time to act. Vote on which teetering Conde mag you want to save, and we'll buy ten subscriptions to the winner.