New York has posted Gail Sheehy's impressive 1972 story "The Secret of Grey Gardens."

The New Yorker is America's best magazine but their advertising revenue last quarter was down, let's see, 32% from a year ago. So everything is on sale, 80% off!!

In your fabulous Thursday media column: John Madden retires, newspapers just falling apart everywhere, Martha Stewart gets a fat contract, and Fiji's version of The Onion:

Esquire's ad revenue dropped 22% in the first quarter, which actually put it above average. But we hear that the magazine's staff, and its corporate overlords, are on edge. There was a meeting yesterday [UPDATED]...

• The Times is folding in several sections of the paper (City, Escapes); scrapping the weekly fashion spread in the New York Times Magazine, and cutting the budget for freelance writers. Grim times, indeed. [NYT, Gawker]
• NBC CEO Jeff Zucker is reportedly concerned that CNBC has become too conservative and is becoming "the anti-Obama network." [P6]
• The new Ben Silverman? That would be ABC's Stephen McPherson. [NYP]
• Bill O'Reilly tends to ambush liberals more often than he does conservatives. Could that mean he, like, has an agenda or something? How surprising! [NYT]
• Twitter on fire: Traffic is up 131 percent from February. [AdAge]
• Gannett Co. reported a 60 percent decline in first-quarter profit today. [AP]

When it relaunches in May, Worth magazine will cost $20 on the newsstand. Think of the price as punishment for not being worth $2 million, the minimum to get the book free.

Consumer magazines as a whole lost nearly 26% of their ad pages in the first quarter. We broke out the numbers for Conde Nast, and they're just as bad. The biggest loser: Wired.

In your overflowing Wednesday media column: Sam Zell wakes up, alt-weekly censorship, Dan Abrams commiserates, Ben Affleck says words for some reason, Ann Moore doesn't expect to live long, and PRWeek goes monthly:

• More bad news for the magazine biz: Ad pages fell 26 percent during the first quarter, although you probably guessed that when you used last month's issue of any number of Condé Nast magazines to floss your teeth. [NYT]
• Steve Brill plans to save journalism! Or die trying, at least. [NYT]
• Sam Zell now says his acquisition of the parent company of the Chicago Tribune in 2007 was "a mistake." And a rather expensive one at that. [CT]
• Is NBC's long ratings slump over? Jeff Zucker sure is hoping so! [LAT]
• 20/20's Bob Brown has been dismissed after 30 years at the network. Insult to injury: He was told he could freelance for the network if he wants. [P6]

It's a crazy new hipster character fond of criminal and sexual hijinks! Let's meet Kari Ferrell, the 22 year-old tattooed Utah girl who scammed her way through hipster Brooklyn. Sex, lies, cancer, and bands, yea!

It's time for newspaper and magazine companies to start reporting how they did in the first quarter of this wondrous year, 2009, when The Lord smote them for their sins. It was epically terrible.

What does an 'editorial' assistant do at Condé Nast? Fill in for fired receptionists.

Updated After longtime Variety editor Peter Bart was eased out of power last week, the conventional wisdom was that major staff changes could be in store. And here they come, at the entire company. Layoffs!

A former advertising director at Body + Soul is accusing parent company Martha Stewart Living Omnimedia of firing her because she broke her spine and went on temporary disability. That's cold, even for Martha.

In your hopeful Tuesday media column: Portfolio.com hires(!) people, NYT op-ed-speak translated, Philly papers make an offer you can refuse, and journalists in peril:

• Hachette is cutting salaries and asking staff to work overtime. Fun! [Gawker]
• Amazon is blaming an "embarrassing and ham-fisted cataloging error" for the dropping the sales rankings of thousands of gay and lesbian books. [AFP]
• Bravo has picked up four new shows, including one produced by Sarah Jessica Parker and another by Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher. [THR, THR]
• NBC's Boston affiliate, WHDH, has backed down from its threat to skip Jay Leno's new 10pm show when it debuts this fall. [B&C]
• Marriott will no longer automatically provide guests with a free copy of USA Today or the Journal. You're gonna have to ask for it from now on. [E&P]

In your bone-chilling Monday media column: magazine prices going up, newspapers just giving up and letting you do it, Rahm Emanuel charms reporters, and big Hollywood tragedy!

• Amazon.com is in the hot seat for stripping gay and lesbian books of their sales rankings, something the bookseller is now calling a "glitch." [EW, WSJ]
• MSNBC is reportedly in the process of developing a weekend political show to be moderated by chief White House correspondent Chuck Todd. [NYO]
• More bad news for barely-living BlackBook: its longtime fashion director is out. And Jann Wenner's marketing chief is leaving Wenner Media. [WWD]
• Alpha Media has laid off a handful of employees at Maxim, including deputy editor Chris Wilson and editor-at-large Steve Garbarino. [NYO]
• Magazines are looking to raise subscription rates to save themselves. [NYT]

Padma Lakshmi takes it off for the April issue of Allure, which the mag dubs its "Nude Issue." In the accompanying Q&A, Padma says she enjoys spending her free time in the buff, since she's a "sensual-leaning woman." Let's all take a moment to be thankful that Padma's boyfriend, Teddy Forstmann, doesn't spend his free time attired in quite the same manner:

A good reason not to write for BlackBook: "Your final check will be sent out next week" is followed two months later by "there will be no further payment for your services."