Because apparently none of you people can read without also moving your lips, we hear your pleas and provide this assistance:

• Simon Dumenco has a new media quiz for you. Yee-haw. [Ad Age]
• Breaking: In unmediated blog comments threads, people sometimes say bad things. [NYT]
• NYT reorgs Washburo, aiming for more investigative pieces, more and better explanatory journalism, and more D.C.-culture coverage. [Media Mob/NYO]
• What do you Radarites do while Maer goes a-hunting again? Take new gigs! For starters, Christ Tennant's at Page Six, Chris Knutsen's at Best Life, and Remy Stern's trying to be an entrepreneur. [WWD (second item)]
• Even on satellite radio, Stern now runs up against standards and practices. Which seems to defeat the purpose, no? [NYP]

Spotted in Penn Station yesterday by wandering photog Bucky Turco.

• Times foodie Frank Bruni's cutting investigation into restaurants discovers the unthinkable: you will spend money, often more than you originally intended. We're grabbing a Pulitzer nomination form right now. [NYT]
• Perhaps The Source should have gone looking for a new accounts manager before their landlord booted their broke asses. [MB]
• A very odd and possibly sad sighting of Radar's widower Maer Roshan. [PX This]
• Former councilwoman Margarita Lopez crowns Mayor Bloomberg an "honorary lesbian." We always knew he had a little bulldyke in him. [Politicker]
• Yet another theory on James Frey's FTBSITTTD tattoo, this one with as powerful a message as they come. [TMN]
• Our society has finally come to the point where a young, helpless woman will sacrifice her ladyflower for a fucking videogame system. Score one for those Left Behind-type freaks. [Craigslist]

• Impatient with growing public sentiment that she's a whorelet, Jessica Simpson considers leaving her new PR man Rob Shuter — as if there's some magic flack out there who can erase the pain of collagen. [Lowdown]
• His magazine gets killed — AGAIN — and how does Maer Roshan cope? With a vacation to Morocco. When the eventual Radar 3.0 gets murdered, maybe Roshan can buy a yacht and cruise back and forth between Capri and St. Tropez. [Page Six]
• Source co-owner Benzino (aka Raymond Scott) wasn't thrilled when Ozone mag dubbed him the year's Most Successful Extortionist. His professional solution: Call Ozone owner Julia Beverly and call her a "ugly bush pig slutmonkey whore." Which is exactly how we'd react. [Gatecrasher]
• Moments before the live NBC broadcast of Martha Stewart's Apprentice finale, a 6-year-old child declared the winner, forcing a sequestering of the finalist and (perhaps) a changed outcome. This is, of course, exactly how it works in a real-life boardroom — if you're in fucking Baby Boom. [Page Six]

Radar had its last hurrah last night, when staffers and significant others and friends and not-always-friends gathered at a West Chelsea bar for a final night of drunken excess. It was a pleasant affair; subdued, of course, but not despondent, more happy and nostalgic then angry and upset. Magnanimous Maer — now suddenly sans expense account — even picked up the tab for the first hour or so of drinks.

In today's Observer, writer Gabriel Sherman sifts through the not-so-lovely bones of Radar and asks the tough, obvious questions of both editor-in-chief Maer Roshan and sugar daddy Mort Zuckerman about what went wrong. Again. The answer? A lot of he-said/she-said magic (oh, like you don't know who "she" is in this scenario).

Presented without comment, the email Radar assistant editor Jed Heyman sent this afternoon to his fellow 2004 alumni of the Columbia Publishing Course:

After we revealed yesterday that Mark Michaelson — the former Radar staffer whose cast-aside business cards are currently languishing about 23rd street — to be a chronic card-thrower (having done the same thing when he was fired from Newsweek), we noticed an interesting addition to the comments thread:

Now that Radar has flatlined, mastermind Maer Roshan has little to do but search for new funding — which is hardly a full-time job so much as it is a hearty lunch schedule. So what's a Maer to do? Cast your vote and guide him to greatness!

Can't quite figure out why someone would sign on to fund on a nascent magazine then decide to pull that funding after only three issues? Can't understand why the investor would say he's willing to spend up to $25 million but then give up after only shelling out $10 mill? Unclear on why he blames poor advertising sales for the surrender when people within the mag say the next issue had the best sales of any?

BREAKING RADAR POSTHUMOUS UPDATE! It would seem that the scattering of former Radar staffer Mark Michaelson's business cards, which are currently littering 23rd Street, is not an isolated incident. A reader writes:

On 23rd Street at 6th Avenue, Radar's bloodbath leaves a paper trail.

As we reported last night, Mort Zuckerman and Jeffrey Epstein have pulled the plug yesterday on Radar. Editor-in-chief and founder Maer Roshan informed his staff in a late-afternoon meeting. The investors had agreed last fall to spend up to $25 million on the magazine, but apparently they had a change of heart, allegedly prompted by poor advertising sales. (Though word is trickling out from within the magazine that next issue had, in fact, sold quite nicely, and things were seemingly on schedule for the rest of 2006.)

We take no pleasure at all in reporting this: Radar magazine has folded. The staff was informed at a meeting just moments ago. It was an interesting and increasingly excellent magazine; it was a game and noble foil; and it was a well-paying gig for any number of friends. RIP, Radar, and our deepest condolences to Maer and his prodigiously talented staff.

Lots more media notables inexplicably deigned to respond to our inquiry about what they're thankful for. Even Mr. Radar, Greatest American Magazine Editor Maer Roshan:

By the end of the drunken night, Radar editor Maer Roshan was even trying to pick up women.

From Page Six today:

· Radar's Maer Roshan was mailed a package containing human excrement yesterday with the return address of Suge Knight after Radar named Knight one of its "monsters" in the last issue. Knight's rep says the letter didn't come from him. [Page Six]
· Nobu chef Nobu Matsuhisa couldn't get a table at his own restaurant. "'This is Nobu,' he said to the unseasoned reservationist. To which she replied, 'Yes, this is.' He tried again: 'This is Matsuhisa.' She then explained that Matsuhisa was their restaurant in Beverly Hills." [Page Six]
· "Woody Allen on Madison Avenue near the Jewish Museum, where the exhibition on Jewish Americans in movies and broadcasting makes no mention of him. Told by a passerby of his omission, he laughed and shrugged, 'More persecution'" [Page Six]
· Some African-American Bloomberg staffers were offended when senior executives dressed up as rappers and performed their own rap song about the company. "It's appalling for this company, which has little parity in its payment and promotion of blacks, to take any opportunity to have a parody and a mockery of black culture," said one employee. (From now on, white people are not allowed to rap. Ever. It's racist.) [NY Daily News]

· Roc-A-Fella Records founder Damon Dash, apparently deciding he'd rather lose money than make it, is starting his own airline, and has already committed to retail space for the offices. [NY Daily News]
· Weatherman Al Roker's 15 year old daughter Courtney was caught smoking pot. [Ed. noteA teenager caught smoking pot...maybe if I say it out loud, it'll seem more scandalous...nope; didn't work.] [Page Six]
· Radar Editor Maer Roshan on Tina Brown: "Tina's a drag queen. She's pretty damn gay herself. She worked at Condé Nastdealing with gay people wasn't exactly like a new, daunting experience for her! I wrote my term paper on Tina in college. She's an icon, you know?" [Page Six]