Remember the L.A. U.F.O.? Turns out, it wasn’t aliens, it was just the Navy blowing up a piece of hardware expensive enough to have lifted thousands of families out of poverty. (Or... it was aliens.)

Los Angeles offers many things. Sun. Sand. Millions of horrible people. Cocaine. Unfortunately, all current and near-future residents of America’s entertainment capital may soon have their lives put in danger by an almost certain earthquake. Or not!

Lawyers from the Disability Rights Legal Center say bureaucratic barriers are illegally and systematically knocking mentally ill homeless people off the welfare rolls in L.A. County, reports the Los Angeles Times.

Three women filed a civil lawsuit Friday in L.A. County Superior Court claiming that the Saudi prince accused this week of forcing a female employee to perform oral sex on him assaulted them as well, the Los Angeles Times reports.

Earlier this week, TMZ reported on the strange case of a 17-year-old girl who claimed that the youngest and most popular Kardashian, Kylie Jenner, had been stalking and harassing her, and even staged a car accident in an attempt to kill her. The teen went as far as filing a temporary restraining order against Kylie and signing to affirm her allegations are true.

Los Angeles is set to declare a “state of emergency” and commit $100 million to help end its homelessness crisis, which has ballooned out of control. It is not exactly clear, however, where the money will come from. According to the LA Times, the budget “only recently began to recover from revenue shortfalls.”

On Wednesday, three brothers ranging in age from 8 to 12 were found stabbed to death in the backseat of an SUV near a South Los Angeles elementary school, KTLA reports.

Authorities say they are searching for a man who attempted to rob three banks over the course of an hour in the Los Angeles neighborhood of Los Feliz on Thursday, KNBC reports.

I was a young boy in 1965 when we moved into an area of Los Angeles where many New Orleans expatriates settled. I got to watch my older brothers and their friends run like rabbits when the pigs would roll by. At one point I thought that’s what you called the police, “pigs,” but Gregory, my second oldest brother said don’t you ever call them that to their faces. Once, when the police roared up on us with their high beams, Gregory dragged me like a limp doll to escape. All these well-built, tough-ass knuckleheads scattered to avoid arrest or worse. Their crime: smoking weed and drinking beer on the steps of our house. Gregory threw me down behind a hedge and covered me with his body while the police looked for someone to apprehend. They didn’t see us, but the impression stayed with me. The police were to be feared.

It’s late July. There is a helicopter circling. A “ghetto bird” on this clear, dark blue night. I’m in my bed, staring at the ceiling fan, trying to sleep. It’s 1:30 a.m. It’s 2:00 a.m. I’m struggling. I’m tired. It’s hot. Someone’s dog is barking. I am now on Facebook, seeing post after post about rumors, or fact, of two black bodies being found in a car at a Taco Bell about 10 minutes away from where I rest my head. I think about how many pillows are being soaked by hot, angry tears of black families asking the questions that come along with this sort of thing.

Authorities in California say they removed more than 1,200 handguns, shotguns and rifles and over two tons of ammunition from the home of a California man found decomposing in a car earlier this week, the L.A. Times reports.

Despite efforts by the city of Gardena, California to suppress the footage, a video showing officers killing an unarmed, seemingly confused man was made public on Tuesday, the L.A. Times reports.

On Sunday, Reddit user SeagoatCM uploaded a video simply titled “The legend” showing a man performing an animated recorder breakdown to Z.Z. Top’s “La Grange” while simultaneously navigating L.A. traffic.

According to The Washington Post, a former convent in Los Feliz, California has become the subject of a heated legal battle after two elderly nuns sold the property in an attempt to stop singer Katy Perry from buying it.

According to TMZ, hip-hop mogul Sean Combs, also known as Diddy, was arrested in Los Angeles today after allegedly assaulting a coach at UCLA, where his son plays football.

On Friday, LAPD officers shot a man who had raised his arm, wrapped in a towel, towards them, the Los Angeles Times reports. Police said the officers thought he had a gun; he did not.

On Friday, a jury in Los Angeles found Officer Mary O’Callaghan guilty of assault under color of authority, the Los Angeles Times reports. Video shows O’Callaghan slapping and kicking the handcuffed Alesia Thomas, who lost consciousness and died soon after, in the back of her squad car. O’Callaghan was not charged in Thomas’ death.

I work at a soul-food restaurant owned by a very attractive black biracial man. The restaurant is located in South Los Angeles, across from what used to be the Magic Johnson Theater, a place once known for shootouts during movie screenings. But, I digress.

Since the drought began in California, my mom has become even more overzealous about conserving water. “The lawn is all brown blotches,” she giggled before I went home to visit last summer. “I turn off all the sprinkler but I think Marcelino turns it on.” Marcelino is our neighbor. He is retired gardener who sometimes comes over with his grandkids to tend to our yard. I think he feels bad for it.