listicle

Tinsley Mortimer, Meet Your Dream Dates

Richard Lawson · 01/29/10 03:40PM

Flirt Alert! Tinsley Mortimer, the bubbly blonde socialite of our dreams, is single and ready to mingle. She was spotted at Sundance looking for a man, which is pretty desperate. So we thought we'd help her find The One.

A Contract for the Gay Guy/Straight Girl Friendship

Brian Moylan · 01/27/10 02:17PM

Thanks to make-over shows and reality television, every girl in America thinks that they need "a gay." Sorry, ladies, but gay men have no interest in being your pink, glittery accessory. In fact, there are some rules for these relationships.

The Rules for Calling In Sick

Brian Moylan · 01/25/10 01:49PM

Today is disgusting. When I woke up in my warm bed this morning I thought, "I am definitely calling in sick." But here I am. Why? Because it would violate the rules for getting away with this sort of thing.

Five Market-Tested Elements Every Movie Trailer Needs

Richard Lawson · 01/14/10 09:37AM

Legion's demon-lady who tries to eat the girl from Friday Night Lights has been the thrust of most of that angels-with-guns flick's previews. Because crazy old ladies put butts in seats, guaranteed! Why, they're one of five cheap trailer ploys.

Why Every Warm Place on Earth Sucks

Brian Moylan · 01/05/10 05:35PM

Every year to get through the winter in New York (or presumably everywhere cold like Boston, Chicago, Wasilla) we have to go through a mass delusion that there is nowhere better. It sounds something like this.

Three Annoying Habits of the Laziest Journalists on Twitter

Ryan Tate · 01/05/10 11:15AM

Luckily for lazy journalists, there is a permissible way to "crowdsource" the hard work of reporting to the Twitter masses. But there are many more wrong ways to slack. After the jump, a collection of microblogging "don't"s.

Nine New Year's Resolutions That Are Bound to Fail

Brian Moylan · 12/31/09 09:53AM

On December 31 everyone is thinking about ways to improve themselves for the coming year. Why bother? That will all be forgotten by February 12, and then you'll still have problems and be a failure. But we're here to help!

A Treasury of Terrifying Hyperbole by Dick Cheney

Pareene · 12/30/09 12:50PM

America's most hated political figure, former Vice President Dick Cheney, has inserted himself into the news again. He said something about Obama, and terror. That has been a wonderful 2009 trend, reporting on what Cheney mumbles.