After many months spent posing topless in glossies, making out with girls, and staging her very own wet t-shirt photo shoots, Miley Cyrus is finally giving up on that whole innocent tween image perfected by Disney and is officially turning into Lindsay Lohan. As MSNBC reports, Cyrus is supposedly "really interested" in nabbing a role in Undiscovered Gyrl, a screen adaptation of an as-yet-unreleased novel written by Naomi Watts' ex-fiancé. So what does the role of "Gyrl" entail? The plot of the novel revolves around an 18-year old blogger whose interests include alcohol abuse, sleeping around with as many men as possible, and reckless partying. Naturally, a part like this will require several nude scenes, meaning the 15-year old belly dancer and tween icon would finally get paid for revealing her naughty bits this time around, should she get the part. But stripping down and playing bad girls on-screen isn't the only sign that Miley is Lindsay 2.0 — thanks to her newfound (nudity-based) fame, the underage millionaire has already launched a nasty war of words against her competition, morphing into a real-live Mean Girl overnight:

LiRo have been terrorizing the East Village and Lower East Side lately with their blond skinniness and ambiguous sexuality. Here at the Gawker Stalker factory, we've created a handy-dandy guide for you.

Keri Russell and her son River going grocery shopping in Brooklyn ... Lindsay Lohan showing up for work on the set of Ugly Betty ... Paul Bettany and Jennifer Connelly at a parking garage ... Meg Ryan and her son taking a stroll through SoHo ... Ice-T shooting a scene for Law & Order ... Gwyneth Paltrow taking a walk in the Hamptons while Madonna pushes Apple in a stroller ... Ashanti posing for photos in Rockefeller Plaza.

[Lindsay Lohan, a lesbian from Long Island, on the set of gay barnstormer "Ugly Betty" in New York today; image via Splash]

At long last, Dina Lohan has figured out a way to put all those rumors about her fictional former career as a Rockette to rest. In a clever and trademark bout of not-so-subtle child manipulation, Dina arranges for the always-bored Cody to publicize her very own Vegas show starring Dina, her jazz hands, and a pair of leggings that look suspiciously like a knock-off of Lindsay's blow job-ready version. With Ali’s career at its inevitable standstill, Dina decided to show her little ones how a real stage star gets the job done: con your child into playing PR boy for your otherwise blip on glitter-dusted Vegas' star-studded radar, and feign shock and scorn for the cameras after Cody's adorable promotional fliers are hung all over town. And still, amidst all the excitement of Dina’s return to solo stardom, we viewers learned yet another essential trifecta of lessons on how to belittle your son, blow off pony-tailed Carlos Leon-wannabes who just want a piece of your delicious ass and, of course, dance like it’s 1989:

Fedora enthusiast Samantha Ronson had trouble focusing on her job at a party in the Hamptons over the weekend. Ronson was constantly checking over to her shoulder to see what her gal pal, Lindsay Lohan, was up to. Ronson placed one ear bud over her left ear while using the other ear to keep up with Lohan's conversation. Unfortunately, Ronson was still not able to hear over the din of the crowd and her next musical selection. Ronson managed to catch the tail end of Lohan's epic story about how she spilled various sodas to test out the power of her recently purchased Shamwow. Lohan comforted Ronson after her set and apologized for telling stories about their favorite new infomercial purchase without Sam being there to join in on the conversation.

[Actress Lindsay Lohan living it up in the Hamptons this weekend. That's her supposed girlfriend Sam Ronson in the hat; image via INF]

So earlier this week we suggested tween queen of homemade kiddie porn Miley Cyrus just may have been inspired by a former teen queen of homemade, visually intoxicated porn. And, sordid as it may be, much of the Hannah Montana star's fame outside of the flyover states is quite possibly due to all those "scandalous" photos that keep popping up. Which is a good thing in the world of "All press is...", right? And here to provide some guidance in answering that question are established troublemaker and pot princess Mischa Barton and future troublemaker Hayden Panettiere.

Click to viewIt's shaping up as a cruel summer for drunk, high or otherwise messed up celebrities trying to stay on the straight and narrow. Comedian Andy Dick was arrested this week for groping a 17-year-old's breasts while in possession of marijuana and Valium, in something of a reprise of his bust last year for doing blow in a nightclub. Actress and teen rehab veteran Drew Barrymore is now reported to have boozed her way to a breakup with actor Justin Long. Heather Locklear fled "depression and anxiety" rehab in Arizona after barely two weeks. Even a Rolling Stone, Ronnie Wood, surrendered himself to rehab again after leaving his wife for a 19-year-old cocktail waitress — and two bottles of vodka per day. Maybe all that summer daylight is pushing everyone over the edge! In any case, it's tough to keep track of who's where on the customary arc of high-profile substance abuse: embarrassment, criminality, rock-bottom desperation, rehabilitation and then either another trip around the circle or a break into the freedom of sobriety. That's why we've compiled a guide to once and future inebriated celebrities: 20 actors, singers, models and socialites who hog way more than their fair share of space in the gossip pages — and here on Gawker. We'll update and expand this list over time as a sort of encyclopedia of shame; your comments and tips are encouraged. (The arrows, by the way, indicate trends in drunkenness, so an upward arrow means getting drunker, downward means getting more sober.)

[The Most Important Lesbadoodles Of Our Time, LiLo and SamRo, leaving a party last night; image via INF]

Sam Nazarian is "a rich kid from Beverly Hills" who spent his 20s becoming a Hollywood club mogul, hangs out with Salma Hayek, bought a house next to Leo DiCaprio, and played himself on an episode of Entourage. Now he's 32, and he's determined to bring his special brand of awesome party magic-which "draws such names as Paris Hilton and Lindsay Lohan"-to Las Vegas. He's gonna make Ocean's 11 come alive again, baby, yea! And his PR team demands you respect his hustle:

In a bold move that sent the celebrity bloggerati into an epileptic fit, Cahuenga Blvd based DJ Samantha Ronson blew a kiss to gal pal Lindsay Lohan while leaving the set of Labor Pains. According to on set spies, the air born kiss was to celebrate Lohan's successfully finishing the film without any major incident. Later in the afternoon,Lohan received a text message from Ronson that implied that her lip lock telegram was only the beginning of their fun.

Oh look, everyone's finally starting to catch on to the whole Lindsay Lohan/Samantha Ronson clambake. The Mirror is reporting that deejay Sam's deejay/producer brother Mark and his girlfriend approve of her lesbadoodle relationship with actress and former skiing enthusiast Lindsay. Mark's girlfriend Daisy (also a deejay?) says "Their relationship is totally genuine. And they're just so sweet together." Aw, that's nice. Couple that with the new Life & Style magazine cover (above), and it looks as though the mainstream celebrity-industrial complex is finally ready to accept what people like us have been talking about for a month. Though, heh, we were a little slow to catch on, too. Now I'm not going to get into the whole "this would be so much different if it were two men" thing, so I'll just leave you with a video of Ronson after the jump.

At four months and still going strong, reformed shock-starlet Lindsay Lohan and gateway-lesbian girlfriend Samantha Ronson seem to be enjoying something approaching unfettered bliss. Still, we realize there exists among you—despite extensive photo-evidence of kissing, hand-holding, and the presentation of a a $22,000 Cartier ring (or roughly three years' salary for the average D.J.)—a few out there still who suspect the entire courtship to be a calculated attempt at staying in the limelight. Well, perish the cynical thought. Even Samantha's older brother Mark Ronson has given the couple his blessing, reports The Mirror:

• Jennifer Aniston spends $20,000 per month on beauty treatments, supposedly, including twice-a-month, $1,000-a-pop spa treatments for cellulite. All to impress John Mayer, who kissed Perez Hilton? [Enquirer]

• The real reason Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban didn't sell baby pics to the tabs? It may have had less to do with morals and more to do with the fact no one was willing to shell out $3 million. [Page Six]

A-list stars are extremely selective about how they're portrayed in pictures. They routinely have specific language in their contracts for movies and photo shoots dictating just how much flesh can be shown, and in what way. But magazines have figured out a way around this: get one of the world's most prominent photographers to do the shoot, and hey, the stars let it all hang out! New York got Lindsay Lohan to strip for Bert Stern, the photographer who once shot Marilyn Monroe in the same poses. And Vanity Fair used Annie Leibovitz's cachet to goad the young Miley Cyrus into a creepy come-hither pose. And now, sadly, supermodel and man-curse Gisele Bundchen has fallen victim to the same trend. Oh no!

In the grainy land of reality show famewhoring, sometimes a pair of boobs will come together and a cable miracle is born. And that’s exactly what happened last night when we saw our maternal icon, Dina Lohan, meet our paternal icon, Hugh Hefner. On the latest edition of television’s most reliable guide to parenting, Dina taught us some highly unique strategies in order to effectively downsize your son’s balls, fake your way to the fountain of youth via Me-Time, and prove to your tweenage daughter just how insanely awesome and superior you are by making her choose between “Mr. Hot” and a career in music best left for those with actual talent. The newest lessons learned from Living Lohan, below:

Dynamic duo Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson attempted to blend in with the guests at Chateau Marmont. The inseparable pair had noticed that a majority of the guests at the legendary Hollywood hotel were dressed in a similar manner, but they were quickly spotted in a sea of hipsters. While sitting in the lobby, the twosome concluded that maybe if they venture to less profile locations like Eagle Rock or Long Beach they'd go unnoticed, but they quickly realized that there wasn't anything to do beyond the West Side.

As with any story involving Lindsay Lohan, we have good and bad news to report. We noted back in March that the queen of all things Lesbian Chic would finally follow in every other bored starlet's wobbly footsteps and design a clothing line. And, being the non-traditionalist that she is, Lohan intended on sticking to leggings. Which made sense, considering the practical usage of leggings when taking a walk of shame, in need of a secure and moisture-proof hiding place for substances, and stretching out one's legs while passed out in SUVs. And leave it to Lindsay to turn the otherwise boring piece of clothing into a racy collection of pieces custom-made for any girl looking for a comfy place to rest her knees mid-blow job. Not to mention a surefire way to slip on a pair of "ankle gloves" and alert every male within 30 miles just how eager you are to spread said ankles: