The long, proud tradition of aging rock stars suing republican candidates for using their songs on the trail continued today. Frank Sullivan, Survivor's only true survivor and co-author of the song "Eye of the Tiger," filed a lawsuit against Newt Gingrich, who has taken to entering political rallies while the Rocky theme blasts on the PA system.
Laughable right-wing muckraker James O'Keefe announced today he is suing the New Jersey Star-Ledger for defamation. As a person with inside knowledge of the newly litigious mind of James O'Keefe, I'd like to state that this has nothing to do with the time a girl says he stole her panties and tried to trap her in a barn. Nothing at all. I just like bringing up the panties story because it's weird and gross. [Project Veritas, image via]
How are we going to look Dame Maggie in the face after this?
It's about to be a girl fight.
Poor Matthew Wall. A tragic motorcycle crash shortly after he got married left him with extensive nerve damage, a shattered pubic ramus bone, and some unfortunate damage to his penis. Reconstructive surgery could only help so much, and the 27-year-old Navy man lost a total of 1.5 inches from his manhood.
Corporate whore Ben Stein, who claims to be an economist but is really a commercial actor with an undergraduate degree in economics, has sued Japanese electronics firm Kyocera for violating his "freedom of religion" by not hiring him as a pitchman because he denies the reality of global warming. This man lives his Republican values to the hilt.
If there's one thing everyone knows about Mountain Dew, the soda specifically designed to gross out your mom when you make her buy it for sleepovers, it's that it's extreme. How extreme? So extreme it will turn a mouse into jelly!
After launching an electronic assault on local shops and abusing sick and pregnant warehouse workers, Amazon.com has been sued for ripping off and royally screwing over in every other possible way a partner that made Kindle cases. Maybe the e-tailer's 2011 New Year's resolution was "be evil constantly."
Taking people hostage used to mean something, you know? If you took a guy hostage, it was a big deal. It was a bond for life! These days, though? These days you can't trust your hostages farther than you can throw them, after you've killed them and wrapped their bodies in tarp.
When Chick-fil-A isn't spending millions trying to clog the channels of gay rights legislation as effectively as their grease-soaked poultry mittens clog human arteries, the Atlanta-based restaurant chain expends its energy in equally productive ways. Case in point: Their current attempts at preventing Bo Muller-Moore, a Vermont folk artist, from selling silkscreened T-shirts bearing the words "Eat More Kale" on them.
In July 2010, 79-year-old Florida man Richard Smith went to the hospital complaining about breathing troubles and stomach pains. After his nurse accidentally injected him with Pancuronium—a drug that's given to death row inmates during the execution process—Smith's health troubles were gone. But so was he, eventually.
The Village Voice has problems. The paper had yet another round of layoffs last month, as part of a nationwide cull by its parent company. (Not to be confused with the other layoffs earlier this year.) Like most alt-weeklies, the Voice depends on sex and drug ads for its very survival. The paper's so desperate for revenue that it's suing Time Out NY for using the phrase "Best in NYC." You know that belongs to the Village Voice, right?
Lady Marmalade, The Soul of Philadelphia, the one, the only, Miss Patti LaBelle: Get your kids the fuck away from her. That's the only reasonable takeaway, really, from a lawsuit filed against the singer by a family who lived in the same, Trump-owned tenement structure on the Upper West Side as LaBelle.
A group of conservative investors in Tennessee is suing a California businessman for allegedly conning them into investing in Tea Party HD, a TV channel aimed at tea partiers, that they say turned out to be a scam.
