law

Supreme Court Kills Huge Discrimination Suit Against Wal-Mart

Hamilton Nolan · 06/20/11 10:16AM

The Supreme Court has just ruled that what would have been the largest sex discrimination suit in history—more than a million women suing Wal-Mart—cannot proceed as a class action suit. The women are all free to sue the company separately, but the mega-humongo class action suit would have been a serious financial threat to the company, while various isolated lawsuits will not be.

Lawyers Can Now Be Ordered Like Pizzas

Hamilton Nolan · 06/17/11 11:13AM

Though we are loath to continue pointing out the myriad ways in which the practice of law has become a degrading wallow in the depths of human desperation, we will simply note—for those of you keeping score in your law-school-graduation-present moleskines—that, thanks to a handy new website that allows you to order up a lawyer at any time of day or night, the legal profession has, at long last, become just as respectable as the fast food profession:

Driving Away From Cops Now a 'Violent Felony'

Hamilton Nolan · 06/10/11 08:45AM

Horrible news for all of you criminals who already have Two Strikes and would really, really prefer not to get a third: the Supreme Court ruled yesterday that fleeing the police in a car is, by definition, a "violent felony."

Judge Rules Gay Softball League Must Be Filled with 100% Penis-Loving Dudes

Seth Abramovitch · 06/03/11 02:50AM

A federal judge in Seattle ruled that organizers of the Gay Softball World Series can continue to enforce their rule of allowing a maximum of only two "non-gay" players per team. The decision came in a lawsuit filed by three San Francisco men from a team called D2, whose second-place finish in 2008 was nullified because they are bisexual, not gay, and therefore broke the gay softball covenant to keep vagina-lovers out of the outfield. (Unless it's lesbian softball, in which case, good luck with that.)

While We're At It, Let's Free All Nonviolent Drug Offenders

Hamilton Nolan · 06/02/11 09:39AM

Attorney general Eric Holder has come out in favor of reduced sentences for thousands of people currently imprisoned on nonviolent crack cocaine convictions. (A recent law corrected the insane sentencing disparity between crack and powder cocaine; Holder is simply recommending that the new sentencing guidelines be applied to some people already in jail.) That's a great first step. Then can we let out all the other drug war victims, too?

RIAA Would Like to Piss on the Fourth Amendment, Please

Hamilton Nolan · 05/18/11 08:36AM

The villainous Recording Industry Association of America, which loves to sue children for millions of dollars for downloading songs that deprived wealthy entertainers of a penny: what is their latest outrage? Pissing on the U.S. Constitution, naturally.

Hero Lobbyist Bills Exonerated Former Prisoners for Millions

Hamilton Nolan · 05/10/11 10:48AM

Kevin Glasheen is a lawyer in Texas. He is also a lobbyist. He successfully lobbied the state to pass a bill raising the amount of money that it pays to inmates who are exonerated and freed after being wrongfully convicted and imprisoned. For completing this fine deed, Glasheen expects to be paid handsomely—by the freed inmates themselves.

U.S. Had Lawyers Ready for Bin Laden

Max Read · 05/09/11 11:19PM

President Obama had "two teams of specialists" at the ready after the Osama Bin Laden mission: "One to bury Bin Laden if he was killed, and a second composed of lawyers, interrogators and translators in case he was captured alive." (Or so "senior officials" tell The New York Times.) If he had been captured alive, he'd have been taken, in order "to preclude battles over jurisdiction," to a Navy ship — the U.S.S. Carl Vinson, most likely — where he would have been interrogated. (Even so, "the mission," officials say, "was always weighted toward killing.") The question remains: Did the interrogators have six-packs? Was there a dog with the lawyers? Did it have titanium teeth? Because otherwise, seriously, bo-ring. [NYT; image via AP]

Louisiana Defends Its Confederate Flag From 'Revisionists'

Hamilton Nolan · 05/09/11 09:11AM

In Louisiana, a black man who was convicted for murder is seeking to overturn his conviction on several grounds, the most interesting of which is this: he contends that the fact that the Confederate flag flies in front of the courthouse where he was convicted is evidence of discrimination.

DOJ Tries to Disappear Latest Wikileaks Disclosures

John Cook · 04/26/11 11:57AM

If you're a lawyer for one of the 170 or so remaining detainees at Guantanamo Bay, you're probably happy that Wikileaks has finally dropped the classified case files for each defendant showing just how spurious, thin, and ludicrous much of the evidence against them is. That sort of information could come in handy for a trial or tribunal. Too bad it's classified, and therefore, according to the Justice Department, can't be used in court unless we say so nanny-nanny-boo-boo.

A Million Women Will Sue Wal-Mart One Way or Another

Hamilton Nolan · 03/11/11 12:25PM

Wal-Mart is currently the subject of one of the biggest workplace discrimination lawsuits in history. Female employees say the company systematically discriminated against them in hiring and business practices. But is a million-person class action suit fair?