law
Supreme Court Kills Huge Discrimination Suit Against Wal-Mart
Hamilton Nolan · 06/20/11 10:16AMThe Supreme Court has just ruled that what would have been the largest sex discrimination suit in history—more than a million women suing Wal-Mart—cannot proceed as a class action suit. The women are all free to sue the company separately, but the mega-humongo class action suit would have been a serious financial threat to the company, while various isolated lawsuits will not be.
Lawyers Can Now Be Ordered Like Pizzas
Hamilton Nolan · 06/17/11 11:13AMThough we are loath to continue pointing out the myriad ways in which the practice of law has become a degrading wallow in the depths of human desperation, we will simply note—for those of you keeping score in your law-school-graduation-present moleskines—that, thanks to a handy new website that allows you to order up a lawyer at any time of day or night, the legal profession has, at long last, become just as respectable as the fast food profession:
Driving Away From Cops Now a 'Violent Felony'
Hamilton Nolan · 06/10/11 08:45AMLucky Lawyers Get Their Own Jobs Outsourced Back to Them
Hamilton Nolan · 06/03/11 09:33AMJudge Rules Gay Softball League Must Be Filled with 100% Penis-Loving Dudes
Seth Abramovitch · 06/03/11 02:50AMA federal judge in Seattle ruled that organizers of the Gay Softball World Series can continue to enforce their rule of allowing a maximum of only two "non-gay" players per team. The decision came in a lawsuit filed by three San Francisco men from a team called D2, whose second-place finish in 2008 was nullified because they are bisexual, not gay, and therefore broke the gay softball covenant to keep vagina-lovers out of the outfield. (Unless it's lesbian softball, in which case, good luck with that.)
While We're At It, Let's Free All Nonviolent Drug Offenders
Hamilton Nolan · 06/02/11 09:39AMAttorney general Eric Holder has come out in favor of reduced sentences for thousands of people currently imprisoned on nonviolent crack cocaine convictions. (A recent law corrected the insane sentencing disparity between crack and powder cocaine; Holder is simply recommending that the new sentencing guidelines be applied to some people already in jail.) That's a great first step. Then can we let out all the other drug war victims, too?
'Can You Copyright a Nose Job?' Law Profs Wonder
Lauri Apple · 05/29/11 03:17PMInspired by recent litigation involving the copyrightability of Mike Tyson's Maori-inspired facial tattoo, some of America's law professors have contemplated a different-but-similar issue: whether American copyright law protects nose doctors' surgical masterpieces. The answer? Probably not, but it's not completely impossible.
RIAA Would Like to Piss on the Fourth Amendment, Please
Hamilton Nolan · 05/18/11 08:36AMHero Lobbyist Bills Exonerated Former Prisoners for Millions
Hamilton Nolan · 05/10/11 10:48AMKevin Glasheen is a lawyer in Texas. He is also a lobbyist. He successfully lobbied the state to pass a bill raising the amount of money that it pays to inmates who are exonerated and freed after being wrongfully convicted and imprisoned. For completing this fine deed, Glasheen expects to be paid handsomely—by the freed inmates themselves.
U.S. Had Lawyers Ready for Bin Laden
Max Read · 05/09/11 11:19PMPresident Obama had "two teams of specialists" at the ready after the Osama Bin Laden mission: "One to bury Bin Laden if he was killed, and a second composed of lawyers, interrogators and translators in case he was captured alive." (Or so "senior officials" tell The New York Times.) If he had been captured alive, he'd have been taken, in order "to preclude battles over jurisdiction," to a Navy ship — the U.S.S. Carl Vinson, most likely — where he would have been interrogated. (Even so, "the mission," officials say, "was always weighted toward killing.") The question remains: Did the interrogators have six-packs? Was there a dog with the lawyers? Did it have titanium teeth? Because otherwise, seriously, bo-ring. [NYT; image via AP]
Louisiana Defends Its Confederate Flag From 'Revisionists'
Hamilton Nolan · 05/09/11 09:11AMCarlos Slim, Extortionate Monopolist
Hamilton Nolan · 05/04/11 09:03AMDOJ Tries to Disappear Latest Wikileaks Disclosures
John Cook · 04/26/11 11:57AMIf you're a lawyer for one of the 170 or so remaining detainees at Guantanamo Bay, you're probably happy that Wikileaks has finally dropped the classified case files for each defendant showing just how spurious, thin, and ludicrous much of the evidence against them is. That sort of information could come in handy for a trial or tribunal. Too bad it's classified, and therefore, according to the Justice Department, can't be used in court unless we say so nanny-nanny-boo-boo.
Elena Kagan Is the Supreme Court's Laziest Justice
John Cook · 04/21/11 12:55PMSupreme Court: No One Should Pay for Innocent Man's 18-Year Incarceration
Hamilton Nolan · 03/30/11 09:07AMJohn Thompson (pictured) was convicted of a 1984 armed robbery, and later of murder. He spent 18 years in prison, including 14 years on death row. Problem: the prosecutors who sent him to jail withheld some evidence—including eyewitness reports describing a perpetrator who looked nothing like Thompson, and a blood test that proved Thompson's innocence.