The Department of Justice was too scared to prosecute the CIA for deliberately destroying evidence that its employees illegally tortured terror detainees. But fear not: The National Archives and Records Administration is still on the case.

Does this sound familiar? "Respectable" young man who was selling weed out of his pricey apartment gets shot and robbed by weed customers; media coverage ensues. It should—it's happened again. An appropriate celebration for the defeat of weed legalization.

Girls Gone Wild founder and certified douchebag Joe Francis is currently being sued by four women who say Francis coerced them into appearing in his X-rated films when they were underage. Well, that's now a free speech battle. How respectable!

Before Rutgers freshman Tyler Clementi committed suicide after his sexual encounter was streamed online, he emailed officials in his dorm about what was going on. Now, prosecutors want to see Rutgers' response. Also, the lawyer for Clementi's roommate has spoken.

Justice Department officials took the controversial step yesterday of invoking the government's state secret privilege to try and dismiss a terrorism lawsuit over the "targeted killing" of a U.S. citizen.

New York is set to issue new guidelines on how restaurants pay their workers. New recommendations: $5 per hour wages, mandatory tip pooling. Our hardworking servers deserve more! Some suggested justice-based restaurant worker laws, below. Add your own!

Iran's really had a hard time deciding whether it will stone Sakineh Mohammadi Ashtiani to death for adultery. Well, they've formally suspended the stoning! She still faces 99 lashes. She "might still be executed by hanging." But no stones! [NYT]

You may be interested to learn that despite hundreds of years of history in the Southern U.S., it is not racist to address a grown black man as "boy." No, really! Observe the judicial saga John Hithon has endured.

Earlier this year, government prosecutors called allegations of sex trafficking of underage girls "a new low for the Gambino (crime) family." Now, it turns out the sex trafficker in question was also a government informant. Burn!

Has any legal drug mecca fallen out of favor as quickly as the city of Los Angeles? Just last year, it had 600 legal weed spots. A government crackdown cut that to less than 200. And now, it gets worse!

The war on smoking is without end: they've already come for your clove cigarettes, and your flavored cigarettes, and your light cigarettes. Now, they're coming for your "e-cigarettes." Jesus, pretty soon we'll all be forced to smoke...cigarettes. [WSJ]

It's rough out there for law school grads. Faced with loads of debt, a worthless degree, and few career prospects, some have already resorted to getting worthwhile jobs. Others have a better idea: complaining about it.

This week we showed you the video of the 2009 beating of Michael DeHerrera by Denver police—who were upset he was making a phone call while they beat his friend. Guess who he was calling? His dad, a cop.

The Supreme Court says birther queen and ever-aspiring politico Orly Taitz does in fact have to pay a $20,000 fine for her "frivolous" litigation about how Barack Obama is an illegal alien, etc. This will undoubtedly change nothing. [Pic]

The FBI is hopping mad at Wikipedia! Apparently they've threatened Wikipedia with legal action if the online encyclopedia doesn't remove a picture of its official seal from the FBI entry at once. Wikipedia's lawyers, while squelching laughter, have replied "no."

A source tells legal website Above The Law that Christopher Stone, the horrible 31-year-old pornographer who owns the tween gossip site StickyDrama, has enrolled in Southwestern Law School. And he's selling StickyDrama—bidding starts at $25,000!

Many of you are probably asking yourselves: How will I make money in our jobless, dystopian future, in which the "normal" economy is dead? The answer: gambling, drugs, and cigarettes. Everything old is new again! For now.

We come to you with a heavy heart to report that our long municipal nightmare of messy legal incidents involving women riding the subway with their tiny dogs still persists. Will New York ever be safe, for subway dogs?

Quite a story in the NYT today about the trial of David Brooks, CEO of a body-armor company who ripped off the US military for millions. Okay, maybe his $100,000 belt buckle was excessive. But the prostitutes? Totally legit.

A "socially inept" Pennsylvania judge has been suspended from his job for calling repeatedly and "making uninvited visits" to the homes of five women. We'd expect that from a lawyer, cop, or other male professional. But not a judge. [AP]