Eliot Spitzer's once-trusted confidante Lloyd Constantine wrote a book, out next week, about Spitzer's downfall—and Spitzer's none too happy. But it's practically a hallowed tradition to write a tell-all about your famous boss.

We thought the Late Show portion of Anna Wintour's Make-People-Like-Me-Before-My-Contract-Is-Up Tour 2009 would be a disaster. Until Letterman asked about The Devil Wears Prada. Then we knew she was safe, because she could never come off worse than Miranda Priestly.

Mariah Carey turns 39 today. Quentin Tarantino is turning 46. Fergie is 34. Dance Theatre of Harlem founder Arthur Mitchell turns 75. British actor Michael York is 67. Wall Street Journal tech columnist Walt Mossberg is 62. Nancy Peretsman, investment banker to Oprah and Martha, is 55. And Talisa Soto, former model and current wife of actor Benjamin Bratt, turns 42 today. Weekend birthdays follow below.

Good news for chick lit fans, bad news for Western civilization: The Devil Wears Prada author has signed a new two book deal with her publisher Simon and Schuster. [Publishers Weekly]

Newlywed, former Anna Wintour underling, and bestselling chick-lit author Lauren Weisberger seems to be crowdsourcing ideas for her fourth book. Is she being serious? Maybe! "As always, I invite you to write in with any story ideas..."

• In the new Burberry campaign unveiled today, Agyness Deyn (who was dropped by the label for being overexposed) has been replaced by another New York-based British model, Rosie Huntington-Whiteley (left). The 21-year-old, who is dating Rolling Stone scion Tyrone Wood, says the two of them were friends until fame went to Deyn's head. Has the Agy backlash started already? [Daily Mail]

The book world's flukiest bestselling author, Lauren Weisberger, whose stint picking up Anna Wintour's lattes and dry-cleaning led to the money-making juggernaut The Devil Wears Prada, has started the promotional blitz for her latest novel, Chasing Harry Winston. (We'd describe the plot, except it would make us lose the will to live.) Weisberger took some time out before beginning her publicity tour to chat with the Telegraph and generously provided the lowdown on how she spends her weekends in Tribeca—going to the movies, eating at restaurants, and (gasp) shopping—while simultaneously demonstrating that she's every bit as inane and unoriginal as her fictional creations. Her husband "is totally gorgeous," the shoe department at Saks is "a little bit of heaven on earth," and "it's interesting that of all the friends I went to college with none has children yet." Like, totally! Oh, and she and her husband are big fans of an obscure, little television program you may have heard of called "American Idol." So much fun! "We love Simon Cowell and every single word that comes out of his mouth." Wish we could say the same for you, Lauren.

Born in unglamorous Scranton, PA, author Lauren Weisberger started out as the abused assistant of a big bad media mogul, raging at the rigid class and social hierarchy of life at Vogue. (A creative-underclass victim, like our core readers!) She survived. She wrote a book! The Devil Wears Prada became a best-seller and a movie. ("I've gotten some feedback from people saying that their bosses have—directly after reading the book—started asking what their majors were in college, where they live, etc.") Take that, Anna Wintour. She became so successful that she's no longer One of Us: rich. Married well. Wedding in Anguilla. Working on third novel! (Click to see a mean-boss Devil Wears Prada clip.) P.S.: Now we hate you.

Anybody seen Lauren Weisberger's wedding photographs? The Devil Wears Prada author was married this weekend in the Caribbean. We're assuming Anna Wintour, Weisberger's former boss at Vogue and a model of the icy fashion editor in her book, wasn't invited.

The former assistant to Anna Wintour, Weisberger is the author of the blockbuster bitch-fest/tell-all novel The Devil Wears Prada.

We suppose that some people (people who are old enough to remember when the "Brat Pack" literary celebrities were scandal-plagued men about town, not dads with faces like fine Italian leather, aka not us) might think the meat of this Radar EXCLUSIVE!! is Jay McInerney's confession that he found a dude-dude-lady sex scene in pal Bret Easton Ellis's Glamorama hot. But apparently, in the same Playboy article, The Devil Wears Prada and Some Other Book No One Bought author Lauren Weisberger admits that her favorite literary sex scene is in Forever by Judy Blume. Okay, Judy writes some tawdry-hot sex scenes, we must admit. But, like, didn't Lauren Weisberger go to college and have to take the graduation-requirement erotica seminar and write a 50 page research paper on The Story of O, or was that just us? Okay, it was just us.

Jay Goes Gay For Bret Easton Ellis [RadarOnline]

• Has anyone ever looked quite so miserable while receiving an on-camera blowjob from Lindsay Lohan? He must know of the bacteria that's to come. [Yeeeah]
• Speaking of Miss Lohan: her new beau, Harry Morton, woefully underperforms in his first paparazzi getaway. [TMZ]
• Socialite/designer Tory Burch is splitting from her husband. Tragic — this is really going to throw a wrench in the Hamptons party schedule. [Page Six]
• How does Lauren Weisberger come up with dialogue? By secretly writing down her friends' conversations during social outings and sending them to herself on her BlackBerry. We love the method: if she continues to do this, she'll soon have no friends left, and thus no material. And then maybe she'll go away. [Lowdown (3rd item)]
• The National Enquirer confirms that Star Jones did have gastric bypass surgery at Lenox Hill hospital, having her stomach stapled in two places. Obviously, hers wasn't a single-staple job. [Gatecrasher (4th item)]
• Alas, a retraction: Natalie Portman does not appear nude in Goya's Ghost; it's a body double. On the bright side, the footage is a nude torture scene, so you can still spank away. [Egotastic]
• CNBC anchor Joe Kernan loved Aquaman and can't wait to see Springtime for Hitler. [Page Six]

• We did not go to Slate's pre-party panel discussion last night on the future of newspapers in the internet age, as we long ago decided we'd never attend another print-vs.-web panel. Others have a more flexible stance on this issue. [E&P]
• Speaking of The Note, Eric Boehlert kind of hates it. [Wash. Monthly]
• Lauren Weisberger's eye-catching title, The Devil Wears Prada — by which we mean the actual four words of the title — perhaps wasn't even her own coinage. The horror! [WWD]
• Look, mom! We're in Nexis! [Media Mob/NYO]

• Because we're tired of typing out all their names, we're going to refer to the ongoing celebrity scandal du jour as Chardenade Heatherich (you translate it). So, today in Chardenade Heatherich news, fifth wheel David Spade slams Denise Richards for betraying Heather Locklear — who happens to be linked to Spade. [Page Six]
• Devil Wears Prada author Lauren Weisberger may be experiencing a career slowdown: After lagging sales for her second book, Everyone Worth Knowing, she's reportedly having difficulty starting her third book. And so Anna Wintour sticks another pin in her little cloth doll... [Lowdown]
• Pete Doherty claims that he was not injecting drugs into the arm of an unconscious young woman. Both he and the girl insist that she was conscious and Doherty was actually drawing her blood — which he was going to then use to paint pictures. We actually preferred the first version. [IOL]
• Is there anything Wilmer Valderrama won't attend? Now he's hosting a condo opening for Corcoran, to be followed by an after-party for the opening of a anthrax-filled envelope. [The Real Estate]
• Now that Rosie O'Donnell is headed to The View, Star Jones' ego might not be able to take it. Her agent is rumored to be calling around, though Jones is welcome to stay as long as she likes. For the sake of television savagery, let's pray Star stays. [Page Six]
• Despite having around 20 pieces in the Met Costume Institute's "Anglomania" exhibit, Malcom McLaren is unable to snare a gala invite from Her Frigidness. [R&M (2nd item)]

• It's the sort of link we dream of: Chris Wilson, porn, and the movement to save him. [Save Chris Wilson]

• If Carrie Fisher continues travel writing, she will eventually go to many different places for many different reasons. [Fametracker]

• Fuck: Lauren Weisberger has risen above our campaign of passive resistance to crawl up the Amazon sales rankings with the skill of a veteran social climber. [Amazon]

• The Times celebrates the high holidays with the heartwarming story of a doctor, a Jew, and the pig valve that brought them all together. [Canonist]

• "How am I supposed to care about Nick and Jessica when I still know nothing about the Classmates.com couple?!" [dude.man.phat.]

• And today in viral content, UNICEF kills the Smurfs to make a point. [End of Smurfs]

• Hey, bloggers: Quit being such assholes. Link exchanges aren't even a cool payoff for such disgusting blackmail. Go outside or something, please. [Opinionistas]

As of 11 A.M.

We are SO PROUD OF YOU ALL! In just two hours, your passive-aggressive inaction has helped to knock Lauren Weisberger's sophomore effort, Everyone Worth Knowing, down one notch in the Amazon.com sales rankings, plummeting from #232 to #233. Bravo! Now stay strong, our little salvation army, and we just might see her at #235 in time for happy hour.

Yesterday afternoon, we had hope:

• Clearly the most important news of our generation, Nick Lachey and Jessica Simpson are (probably) over. Where were you when you found out? Still grieving over the loss of Paris and Paris, no doubt.
• Fear not! We have lost The Newlyweds, but we have gained STAB BABY
• It was kind of a siren-heavy week. Until our lives were on the line.
• Oh, Kate, Kate, Kate.
• Hey hipster! Time just called you a fag!
• We'd just trashed Lauren Weisberger when, without missing a beat, we did it again.
• Gawker fouding editor Elizabeth Spiers still haunts these servers — if you say her name three times before a mirror, a comment-section shitstorm erupts.
• This handy predictive Thursday Styles post will be re-run weekly from here on out.
• What Gawker week would be complete without Radar and Lohan crashing and burning?
• Blogs is big business now. Congrats to Mr. Calacanis, we'll try to spell your name correctly starting... now!
• Oh, Judy, Judy, Judy.
• Oh yes, and some actor fellow got some young starlet in a family way.

Just a reminder: Clap Your Hands Say Everyone Worth Knowing, the sophomore effort by The Devil Writes Chick-Lit author Lauren Weisberger, is available now wherever fine books are sold! On Amazon.com, the novel has racked up an impressive 3.5 star average rating after six reviews.

You have been crying for more and more books about "New York nightlife, public relations, youth culture, [and] downtown culture" to shove into your gaping maw, and author Lauren Weisberger is here to do the shoving. Her second novel, You and Me and Everyone Worth Knowing Is Illuminated, was bought by Simon and Shuster for a million damn dollars; unlike us, the Observer read it: