If there is anyone able to understand the vast and ever-changing cultural diversity of this sprawling nation of ours, it is elderly white Reaganite Peggy Noonan, who once met a Mexican. Now, mi amigos, she has met a Dominican as well.

Now more than ever, America is truly a cultural melting pot (or at least a cauldron). In less than 30 years, whites will lose their majority, and we will be a nation composed solely of minorities. How will America cope? By marketing, of course.

There are a lot of tough jobs in journalism. Like last Friday, when Antonio Castelan of News 3 Las Vegas ventured out to the Bundy Ranch to interview the old racist cowman himself, Cliven Bundy, and ended up getting interrogated by a right-wing radio host and 30 of his biggest friends.

The Republican leader of one of Florida's most populous urban centers was asked this week why his party was faring so poorly among voters in the area. His answer was that government-loving "semi-socialist" Puerto Ricans are moving in and changing things for the worse.

Pro tip: If you want to keep a Hispanic billionaire as the top fundraiser of your embattled Republican gubernatorial re-election campaign in heavily Hispanic Florida, try to keep your gringo staffers from cracking jokes in fake Mexican accents on a ride to Chipotle.

Almost missed this: A leading immigration opponent says Hispanics will cause "the unmaking of America" by voting Democratic, inviting jihadist attacks, destroying "social cohesion," yadda yadda yadda. No biggie, he's just testified to Congress on immigration a few times.

Hola sirs, please to be checking el site CuidadoElSalud.gov if you are in needing of excelente coverages of your loveds for the Obama health plans. This is why our name of the website is en español "For the Caution of Health." Mija, what the fuck are these cabrónes federal on about?

Disney clarifies: the princess who an executive described as "Latina" is not Latina. She is everything and nothing.

Bienvenidos a racial dialogue, friends.

Florida governor Rick Scott is concerned about non-citizens voting in the upcoming presidential election. At least, that's his excuse for singling out 182,000 registered voters suspected of not being U.S. citizens. That number has since been whittled down to 2,600, but the Department of Justice would like Florida to call off the purge entirely.

Oh, how awkward. Not only did Time put an Asian guy on the cover of their "Yo Decido" cover about Latino voters, but the Asian guy in question is actually a member of the press. OC Weekly's Michelle Woo reports,

There's nothing funny, at all, about the years of civil rights violations that took place in East Haven, Conn., where four officers were arrested yesterday for routinely abusing their power and intimidating Latinos who entered the suburb.

What an age we live in! Whereas America sprung full-formed from the breast of Jesus as a white Christian nation in 1776, now we have all types of weird foreign people here. And we welcome them, now that they've gotten in despite our considerable national spirit of xenophobia! Middle America is no longer as white as it's always been (since we killed the natives!).

Huge support and turnout from Latino voters will be a key part of President Obama's reelection campaign. What must he do to ingratiate himself, again? Nothing, really. In his mind, he can just show some clips of Republicans talking about immigration and pretty much seal things up.

Well now HERE's something wacky: even though white folks in America are losing the baby-having contest, our numbers just keep rising on the latest census. Why? Because we run that shit. But also: everyone wants to be white!

Who are the real losers of this recession, besides "all of humanity in general?" We don't want to spoil it for you, but... not white people! Whew. From the NYT:

Texas—for a brief period the most All-American state except for New Hampshire—has, alas, succumbed to the inexorable demographic tidal wave that continues to swamp this nation in non-whiteness. Says the Washington Post:

"43% of Hispanic women who live alone, and 34% of black women who live alone, live in poverty."

Ricky Martin finally came out as a gay Puerto Rican father and his first single is the straightest, whitest thing in the world. It's like the saddest John Mayer reject of all time. At least he gets shirtless. There's that.

A new report says that of all the various Latinos in New York, young Puerto Ricans are doing the worst of all, in social categories including graduation rates and poverty. Por que?